My boyfriend and I have been dating a year an one month. Known each other since 5th grade and dating in our 20's. Our relationship has been complicated to the point I moved in with a friend just to be separate and love from a distance. Well, today I am visiting him and have a comfortable dress on because I knew I might stay the night. He lost his virginity to me and I understand he will have a high sex drive but I am not understanding why he's just focused on that. Today he made a move before work and the later texted me implying it. I told him I couldn't because I have an infection and then change the subject to how he found out about his promotion. I don't want to be prude but he's had bad timing bringing up sex and its a turn off. Am I overthinking it or is he manipulating me? He then says this: The first picture starts with: cause Second picture starts with: If Last pic: i
My opinion is he is too focused on sex. I don't think this relationship is going to last because he can't see the obvious signs around him.
The biggest red flag should be, you feel uncomfortable enough that you had to MOVE OUT.
That's huge, that' all hands on deck to resolve the issue" time. This means you can't talk to him about anything and/or you don't feel confident he'll address issues.
That's not attractive to any woman. Do that and he probably wouldn't have to ask.
Another sign that he is? "I just think we connect good in all ways" Excuse me? She moved out!
I'm sorry, but the last time you two had sex? I think that was for "The Last Time".
But good move on your part, you get it. Be safe and good luck.
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It's crazy because he lost his virginity to me and I am not sure why he acts this way. Why so focused on sex :(
Your answer is in your question... "he lost his virginity to me" You started it all. You're his only source of sex. Later in life, guys calm down because sex isn't new, though it's relative to their access of sex.
Supply and demand.
Sadly, he's fixated on it. I'm not saying you should let him cheat or whatever. I'm saying it's so new to him, he may not be recoverable. You sound way more mature for him.
You have to be mindful should you continue with this guy, because in this state, guys can't tell the difference between real love and "love of having sex".
As others have said way too focused on sex and his own needs and won't even help you out. A relationship is about support and NOT just about sex.
I think that he has not even responded after you said you were hurt. Now I don't really know how I feel about posting private text messages on here but that is another issue.
He says he does not want sex and then 2 seconds later goes back to talking about it then claims he was joking.
I think maybe it is time to find someone new who has your best interests in mind. If you do a lot for him and this is all he can do is talk about sex then. Why is he worth it? Would you not rather have someone who will help you in life then just try and have sex with you any chance he gets?
It sounds like he's horny and you're hoping to fix the relationship before you give him what he wants, lol. It's a game and maybe you're worried that he's a little too comfortable with you moving out, and if he gets sex on top of it there's no incentive for the relationship to improve. Whether you're a compatible couple or not kinda depends on what issues you had that caused you to leave, and if you two are willing to talk and compromise in order to be happy.
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You're correct, That's exactly why I don't want to. Maybe a bj... but he won't be getting me until I see him helping himself. He has jealousy issues and his mom and sister are drama. They caused drama since the day I met them, making our relationship harder than it should and would have been. It's mostly the abuse he goes through and went through, along with manipulation from his mom. He hasn't learned love and doesn't know the form... which is why I can tell he truly loves me but truly has no idea how to show it other than sex
I just wonder what he can do about his family or the fact that he's not showing you love the way you had hoped. These are some pretty big things in his life that are difficult to change. You may find yourself at a crossroads here where you realize that changing somebody is very difficult, especially if they don't necessarily want to be what you want, or share the same future goals as you.
He's been trying to get a house and move out countless times but his mom manipulate him or if she doesn't like how he replies or something little she will throw an overdue bill at him to pay. No one is changing him, he's is 25 and wants to move out so I'm pushing him and showing him why he should. I've only tried to change how he's communicated because it's unhealthy the way he's doing it, he's been through a lot of trauma. Even in fifth grade...
I'm just going off of what you said, the fact that you moved out and he's really only thinking about sex. On the upside he seems excited about his promotion, and hopefully he truly does have a goal of marriage and children because that would indicate that he has plans to pursue that with you. However, words are one thing and actions are another. Ultimately he is who he is, and you have the choice to either stay or go. I did manage to get my ex-wife to quit drinking and partying because she wanted to get married and have a baby or she's probably leavng. I gave her an ultimatum too, I said that I wouldn't marry and have kids with a person who parties and stays out late. It was her choice, and she said that she would quit drinking. We both quit partying and went to pick out her engagement ring. That was one of the only successful changes I ever got my partner to make, but it was because we both wanted marriage and kids. She was motivated to make sure I got what I wanted in order for her to get what she wanted. You may have to honestly negotiate with your partner and see if there's a future together or not. That was just how it went for me. Good luck. 🙂
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