If he considers me as a friend, why wouldn't he treat me as just a friend?

[Anonymous]

We've been talking for half a year and, gosh, it's been so confusing and time-consuming and nothing's changing. We're just stuck with the talking. I don't even think he'd commit. He has given me a lot of mixed signals and when I try to define the relationship, like who am I to you, what are we, why are we talking with each other like this then, etc. he'd just brush it off and beat around the bush. He said he likes me. I also like him, but one day, I finally woke up with this realization that he's experiencing this couple stuff with me without actually being in a relationship with me. But whenever I try to pull away, he would send me messages after a week or two like how have you been doing, it's been a while, I really miss you blah blah blah. Do you think he's being selfish for not letting me have some peace? Because I do think he's so damn selfish. If he considers me as a friend, why wouldn't he treat me as just a friend? Or is he probably tryna keep me like a spare tire or something like that?

[Anonymous]

Only he can tell you and it doesn't sound like he wants to talk (maybe he just wants to start as friends first?). So what this means is you're going to have to take CONTROL and make the decision FOR him. First, decide what you really want? I suspect you're tired of this, but are you content just being friends? Or no? If not, tell him this isn't working for you anymore and you're sorry, but please don't contact me anymore (be direct with what you say and REALLY mean, don't be subtle and assume he'll take the "hint"). Or, if you want to be friends, than you can "inform" him that from this point on, that's all you are now. And the actions will match (ie don't do "couple's things" together anymore)

[Nawlins34]

If you two are having sex, he's saying whatever he has to say shy of a relationship, to keep his gravy train going.

He doesn't have to commit because as you confirmed, he's already getting it. But if he makes it official, he only loses.

This is only a friendship to YOU.

Drop him AND end the friendship. He likes to create and live in gray areas, that only benefits him.

Be safe and good luck.

[ChrisMike1919]

Maybe he's afraid to just say I Love You? A lot of guys are afraid of these three words (me included 🤦🏻‍♂️). He wants to keep you around but what if he's afraid of screwing things?

[Asker]

I see. Thanks for your opinion but do you think he's possibly in love with me?

[ChrisMike1919]

Everything is possible. Gotta say, I can't read his mind but you can try to read his soul through his eyes. Don't push him but try the eye-contact more. You can never know what you may find.

[spartan55]

You are calling him selfish which he may be, but you are skipping over the fact that YOU continued putting up with it, you took his calls, took him back etc. He should leave you alone? Are you obligated to talk to him? You have agency in your relationship. You playing victim makes you look entitled and lacking self awareness.

[CenckKováč]

Maybe he likes you and want to show his love to you. He text you if it's been a while when you haven't talked because he might be afraid to loose you. He might be shy to tell you that he likes you. Many guys experience such things. But if you like him, you should tell him and see his reaction. Rest is upto you what you want to do and remember, it's just my personal opinion things might be different.