Guys, do you ever get super sweet with a girl before you are about to dump her?

[DermalPunch]

For example, being extra romantic, paying her more attention before telling her you want to leave her.

Updates

+1 y

He apologized for being neglectful (he was) and that he wanted to come over and cook with me. I need therapy seriously. But please still share about people doing that in case it can help someone else.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

I have never dumped a girl before. But I would not sweet to her, extra sweet to her before dumping her.

Its like giving the other person a hope of recovery and then snatching away all of the hope from the person. Making the person more miserable than it was before.

Not my style, hypothetically.

Normal behavior, everything normal and then tell good bye to her. At least she will have some kind of suspicion about the break up.

Like you quoted, waking up the love without the intention of it, is the most cowardly thing to do.

[DermalPunch]

Do you have friends that do this?

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

No. Why do you ask?

[DermalPunch]

I am asking because I want to know of this could be happening to me!

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

If you know your man, then be on lookout for any outliers in the behavior pattern. That is the only thing I think you can do.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

If you think of anything else, please tell me too or update your question accordingly.

[DermalPunch]

He calls me his wife and says he is my husband. He has already said when he wants to get married. He's been really making a lot of changes in himself and his life lately. But he was just so serious and I feel like he wil say he wants to end it. He has a lot of things going on in his life right now.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

@DermalPunch You are worried if he get 'cold feet'. Is that what you are saying?

[DermalPunch]

Sort of but just more he doesn't want to continue the relationship. I feel he is just being really sweet to soften the blow. But he should know me by now that I hate that.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Anybody would hate that to be honest. You should be clear with him on this.

Rather than speculating, be head on and ask him. In a bit subtle way, if as you said, he has a lot going on in his life right now.

You should not suffer because of his problems. I mean that.

[DermalPunch]

No he doesn't burden me with his problems. He says he is a man an needs to take responsibility for himself. He is focused on getting his career in order because he wants to have kids with me. But men usually know deep down who they really want to be with. He spent a lot of time convincing me he was serious about us so I don't know.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Mam, I have a feeling that he is using you as an anchor. You are providing emotional support to him in his tough time.
Its a good thing as long as he will give some results. If not, you got to leave him at some point.

I can only suggest you to be a bit more patient, a bit more understanding (you are already enough to be honest), and then at last a bit more firm on your side, at least in front of him. So that he may feel a bit good that you are standing firmly by him.

[DermalPunch]

I asked him directly and he just messaged me saying no laughing at me. He has been my anchor too. I don't mind being that to someone. It has helped me to open up too. I have been locked away from myself for too long. I appreciate him for that.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Well then, you are helping each other out! That is really a very good thing!

Now all you need to be is just put some of your confidence in him for the time being. Just a little bit, so that you will also not be disappointed when he sort of fails in his goals.

And be patient for now.

[DermalPunch]

Yes, I am patient. I am not in a rush. Sugar apple lovers are good people. 😄

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

After interacting with you, I believe it too.😊😊😅😅

[Wsx2wsx2ws]

No. I never dumped a girl. It has always been her, or we moved (when younger)

Not sure why any man would do this. But I know all too often women feel insecure and constantly think we are going to leave no matter what we try to do. It is frustrating.

[DermalPunch]

Yes, it's just we usually get left. Men lie a lot, are fickle and women delude themselves. It's rough. Anyway. See the update. Lol.

[Wsx2wsx2ws]

About you needing therapy?
You know we men need to feel secure too. I have practiced NOT projecting thoughts into peoples heads but taking them at face value. And if I am going to I might as well project something positive since its clearly me making up their imagined thoughts. And if the imagined thoughts are about me that I put into the other's head, are all mine to begin with then isn't it really how I think about myself? And If they don't know that its all me thinking all of this about me and making it look like its all them thinking this about me then will I ever know its really me and not them?

Humm you might have a good point there. I think I will go there with you. See you in the waiting room

[DermalPunch]

Lol. How do you like your coffee?

[Wsx2wsx2ws]

I like it with Tea. Then I can imagine its coffee that tastes like tea. Then I don't really know whats in the cup.

[DermalPunch]

So you won't notice the roofies. I mean sugar.

[Wsx2wsx2ws]

I'll take some sugar, but not the kind you eat. I don't eat sugar. And I read somewhere that roofies don't work on men. But I don't know for sure. Ask your boe to test it out. But it needs to be tea that he imagines is coffee that taste like tea. Or it will skew the test.

Mean time I will look up if roofies are Keto Friendly.

[maximumpower]

no. i gave what i considered was plenty of warning, part of which was withdrawal from relationship & contact.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I'm not sure how you add sugar to the words, I'm sorry but I don't love you any more.

[NathanDavis]

no... I am not an absolute asshole

[Wise4myage]

I've never done that, but I hear it happens.

[msc545]

No, I get withdrawn

[DermalPunch]

Normal.

[eagle1951]

nope