Why do guys go hot and cold?

[Anonymous]

Why is it that a guy will come on strong such as flirting and teasing but then backs off for a bit only to come on strong again? Is this something I did wrong or is this a game?

He's feeling strong feelings and it's scary so he backs off because he doesn't want to appear too eager.

He looses interest until it's on his terms. He wants to be chased.

He's not sure WHAT he feels. He's playing it cool until he decides he doesn't care enough to pretend and acts hot again. So the circle continues.

[Inbox]

There's quite a few possibilities:

1. He's playing games, but just like with women, you have to see if he is playful or if he is being cocky (cockiness is a sign of being a tease)

2. He's testing the waters to see if you'll bite back.

3. It could be that he is seeing someone else, but realizes it was stupid to do that so he backs off.

In short, it's all about HOW he performs it body language, tone, facial expressions, etc wise that will key in what he is up to.

- I've been approaching girls for 13 years.

[RedStealthOperative]

It's the societal norm in flirting these days. Women do this to guys as well. Now, not all guys, and not all girls do this.

I believe the intention behind it is to try get the person to kinda chase you. Almost like a mind game of sorts. Psychologically, many women and men become disinterested if someone is just throwing their self at them. So they play the game of "push-pull" so to speak.

At the end of the day, I think it's just dumb, and people should just freely express themselves. However, today's general culture tends to gravitate towards less common sense...

[MoniqueTLC]

All those options can be correct. This article can really help. But in a nutshell; he might really like you but has internal issues that causes him to distance himself. He's testing you to see how much hot and cold behaviour you'll take, or, he might be using the attention from you as a form of validation.
https://www.theloveconsultants.com/why-do-guys-go-hot-and-cold/

[Pinay_ako]

He’s unsure of you and he’s playing games. Drop him!

[YHL6965]

Honestly, it's hard to test. It could be that he tries getting closer with you but, at times, he feels scared and doesn't dare to engage. He could be doing that for fun. He could be doing that because you're his backup. It could be just him not being in the mood at times. It's really really vague and hard to tell based off text only.

[TheSpaceGnome]

More likely that people in general are simply not going to spend every minute being flirty, and the moments where he isn't doing so, do not relfect a lack of interest, but rather just being preoccupied or thinking it's your turn.

[LItch]

I also do this. I think I come on strong but back off because Im scared or the reaction from her just isn't there. I dont want to appear as a weirdo by being too strong without a VERY obvious reaction.

[Anonymous]

If you don't show enough interest back, take it or him for granted, or don't appreciate the time and attention he has been giving you, then he will pull back naturally. There can be many reasons though.

[MrCommodore]

I doubt he is playing games, most guys don't do that.

[Flower7]

If a guy goes hot and cold, that means he’s not interested.

[RuthlessAggression]

Why is it, when a guy finally shows interest, a girl is testing a guy, by pulling back. Why is that

And how can we "win her back"?

[Asker]

You don't " win her back." She either comes back or she doesn't and neither should be because you danced to her tune.

[RuthlessAggression]

"danced to her tune"

I didn't buy in to her test by trying to win her back. I'm just being myself

[msc545]

Many times we initially want to have sex with you, then realize it isn't worth the hassle, but then get horny again, so...

[noohair]

So women can do what they want and men have to be consistent?

[RobEurope]

They contact a girl when horny. Then masturbate. Then think oh no il not interested anymore, then let the relationship die.

[Anonymous]

he could just be busy or stressed out from his current living situation

[TheFlak38]

ask women. they are the masters of this behaviour

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Same reason why girls go hot and cold

[In_Trance]

Because that's what women do to guys

[truthisthree]

cause it gets hot and cold

[Sonorous]

post-nut clarity?

[Anonymous]

They are doing what women do to guys.