How to deal with being ghosted in real life?

[Anonymous]

I (21F) and this guy (21M) met at a bar over a month ago. However, he slid in my FB DMS first (I was initially not interested in him.) The first time I met him it was amazing and we spoke on Snapchat every day for almost a month and were #1 boyfriend's on the app.

However, he started talking about the attention he was getting from other women and was jealous when I said I'd go out. But he insisted he was interested in me and I was the "only one he was talking to." However, he called me obsessed for reaching out when he left me on read and that is when I stopped talking to him. He kept reaching out and blocked me on Snapchat (his excuse being that I have done it heaps of times for no reason - I removed him twice for leaving me on read.)

I blocked him on everything and tried to move on. He unblocked me on Snapchat but never added me again. Last night I see him at the same bar. He just walked past me and gave me a cold look. Did not want to talk to me and proceeded to laugh with his friends. Did not even say hi at least. I do not know if he just does not like me to the point he doesn't acknowledge my existence. Or he was upset about the block. I am a big believer in "if he wanted to he would" so I have not reached out. But I am wondering if he is waiting for me to?

Is there also a possibility he will not ignore me and we can at least be civil since we have mutual friends and go out to the same places?

Updates

1 y

*best friends on snapchat not boyfriends

Updates

1 y

Also extra notes
- he blocked me on snapchat once I responded, almost like he was trying to get back at me.
- He was supposed to meet up with me the day after the block. But was unwell. Also did not invite me to his 21st birthday party cause no one knows me and I am too shy for his family apparently.

Updates

1 y

Random update

But last week I saw him again at the bar.

Ignored me again. Looked at me and looked down.

I found another guy to dance and make out with. Didn’t realise he was only standing a metre away and saw most of the thing.

He’s flirting with other girls, saw him dancing with one and talking to another.

Sort of proud of myself though for continuing to have fun and not let him ruin my night like this one.

[spartan55]

Online communication kills another relationship.
Guess what? If YOU wanted to YOU would reach out too.

[Asker]

He blocked me for around 3 days. I know from experience that a guy will do anything to reach out and want to see a girl if he is truly interested. Despite me blocking (which by the way was for my own sanity so I wouldn't creep at what he was doing) he has had all the chances in the world to reach out once he unblocked me. Including last night in person.

[spartan55]

Whatever, it's not all on the guy. Take some ownership and stop blaming him.

[boredgal]

No, save your dignity and let him be. Sounds like he’s still very immature, don’t waste your time on him. Let other girls deal with him.

[chicosuave]

you have to stop playing games. thats it. Why did he call you obsessed i don't get it?

[Asker]

Thank you for your advice, I do not understand how I was playing games? And he called me obsessed because I kept reaching out to him when he left me on read. Which I can take accountability for a cause he would tell me he was at work and I began to be anxious cause he would not stop talking about girls. But when I left him on read or even delivered sometimes he would always reach out.

[chicosuave]

Yea move on girl. Looks like you want something more with him since you asked this question. Yeah i think he has other girls msging him so he is probably overwhelmed with all the text msgs he receives. That's why he is acting like that. There's always more guys coming to you. Youlle be fine

[Asker]

That’s true and I thank you for your advice but still doesn’t make sense as why you can’t just say hi in person rather than acting like I don’t exist? Like we talked online for over a month? He also has said to me things like “when we see each other we won’t be able to keep our hands off.”

[chicosuave]

It's because you both blocked each other and we guys get the sense if you block him you don't want anything with him. Not even talk to him so that's why he doesn't bother. He moved on very quickly. Haha guys love to say that so he can make you feel special. That's what they do especially if you were both intimate with each other.

[Iron_Man]

That’s bad and I don’t put up with that