My boyfriend defends me a lot from bullying etc. but sometimes I like to handle it myself.

[Anonymous]

How do you tell your boyfriend just to settle down with being defensive and let me handle it in a nice way and not hurt his ego..

[TiaraGlitzNeon]

I don't know about you, but this is crazy to me. I'd love it if my boyfriend would defend me every time I got bullied, saying as I'd feel cared for and loved. Most of the time when I get bullied, I'm left to handle it on my own even when it gets to be too much for me. Be grateful your boyfriend at least wants to stick up for you. It's way better than him just standing and watching when you get bullied, trust me. You don't want a boyfriend that doesn't care.

[Anonymous]

I had that same issue with my guy when we were in high school...IMO there is not really anyway to tell him that without making him a little offended...you can make jokes like I could have handled that or something. The best way you can ask would probably say that you want people to take you seriously and not think that you need him to handle every single issue of yours..say can you help me with the ones I can't handle please?

[Asker]

thankyou , that helps a lot .

[Opinion Owner]

N.P hun

[Asker]

Quick question , if the "bullying etc. " main point is that I'm not fat but I'm not skinny I'm in the middle and my boyfriend is thin and has muscles etc. is it a different "story"

[Opinion Owner]

so people make fun of your guys' proportions? or what lol sorry, just describe the scenario real quick

[Asker]

Okay . they don't make fun . But at my school its a bit "weird" that a skinny , musclely guy is going out with a curvy girl like myself . But because I'm curvy I get the bullying etc. And as I said my boyfriend defends that type of bullying etc all the time but as you said I don't want people to think that I hide behind him etc. and I was wondering if that scenarino makes anything different?..

Sorry if I have confused you

[Opinion Owner]

I don't think so. And if He is sticking up saying he likes you and to stop and all that, it's nice that he is actually saying stuff. And if it is girls making fun of you, don't let it get to you, I know it hurts, but they are just jealous that he likes you not them.

[MrWrong]

It can emasculate a guy if he's not allowed to defend you. If you and the other person are going at it and he's right there, the Man Code demands that he step in. He may be trying to defend his self-image, too. If other people see him standing by as you and the belly go at it, they'll think he's a coward and that you pretty much own him.

[Jarmihi]

Start by asking him why he feels the need to defend you.