I’ve been seeing some guy now for almost 9 months. He’s 50 and I’m 28 so there’s obviously a significant age gap there. We get on so well though. The trouble is that I got out of a 7 year relationship and came straight into one with this current guy I’m seeing. At first it was just supposed to be sex. Neither of us knew it was going to be anything more, nor did we plan it to be. It just kind of happened but we’re both okay with that. The past week I’ve been on two nights out. One with my best friend but it was a spur of the moment thing and the other with some girls from work. After both of the nights out he has been saying things to me like ‘you’re young, you should go out’ and ‘you’ll want to be going clubbing next’. He knows I’m not really someone who goes out much, especially drinking. And that going out twice in one week is definitely not something I do, it just happened that way. But his petty comments about it afterwards are what’s annoying me. He’s saying he’s not bothered about me going out and is encouraging it, but why does he need to make a point of it in the first place? He goes out once a week and gets drunk and I don’t make a big deal over it. I keep wondering if it’s insecurity and he thinks I’m going to dump him to start going out more. But then the other part of me feels like it’s reverse psychology where he knows that if he tells me to go out because I’m younger than him and have a lot of life to live I won’t do it in fear of losing him. I keep telling him I’m not arsed about going out and that id rather spend time with him because I prefer it that way but he doesn’t seem to listen. I even tried to include him on the work night out because he knows all the people I work with but it seems like he doesn’t care.. I understand where he’s coming from when he says I got out of one relationship and into another. But none of this was planned and I’ve reassured him multiple times I’m happy and wouldn’t change my life.
I can’t understand if he’s using reverse psychology on me?
Updates
1 y
I spoke to him about it last night and his response was ‘well I thought I’d give you a break so you can go and have girly time. You’ve never had that before’ so I said to him I wasn’t bothered about girly time (i see my friends a couple of times a month which I’m happy with) and that there’s more to life than going out and getting drunk with friends. I told him I wanted more time with him and no one else. His response to this was ‘good. That’s a good answer’.
