Guy asked to go on vacation?

[Anonymous]

I ve been seeing this guy for 2 weeks and we had sex many times too.

he's now asking me to take a vacation for 1 month where we will stay in a cottage owned by his friend in Cornwall and then we will go to portugal and spain.

Is this normal? To go on vacation with a guy you ve only met 2 or 3 weeks ago?

[wheist9095]

Oh it's definitely not normal, I would say don't go. Just because you've been hanging out with him for a couple weeks you've been fucking him doesn't mean he is trustworthy. Especially if you're going to another country, like maybe he's innocent and he's just trying to go on vacation anything she'll be cool to go with him, or maybe he's a villain and you'll end up in one of those b grade horror movies. I wouldn't go on vacation with somebody unless I was dating them for at least 6 months to a year

[Asker]

What if the guy suggests this on the 1st date itself?

[wheist9095]

Then you should never go on a second date because I'm pretty sure he's going to kill you. It just smells like human trafficking to me, take you somewhere far away from everybody you know and everything you know on a vacation, with somebody you barely know.

[Asker]

he's a student doing phd. He was saying he wabts a 1 or 2 week break with me

[Asker]

He told me on the 1st date that he wanted a "1 or 2 week break" with me (hinting indirectly to me) to another city. He said we can stay at his friends cottage.

I said ok but we didn't kiss on the 1st date (he wanted to but I wasn't sure as he never mentioned what he wanted, whether he was looking for a relationship or casual).

He never texted me on his own and after 2 days I texted him. We met up again but he changed the whole plan, saying he's going to hang out with his friend who is visiting him.

What does this mean? Is this a red flag?

[wheist9095]

Yeah, I would say that's red flags all throughout. Wanting to go away with you on a first date is weird, him changing the plans is a big red flag and him taking you to another place with his "friend" says that where you go with him you're not going to be alone He's going to have other guys there. So I think worst case scenario, human trafficking big red flag, or at the very least he's going to want his friend to take a turn with you if you know what I mean. I honestly say 100% do not go, and I would distance myself from him if I were you. Maybe if you guys still talk or if he becomes more interested or something it could be a relationship down the line but this is a lot really early and that is not good, bordering on frightening.

[Asker]

No he didn't say friend will be there. He changed the plan and instead of going with me he said he will see his friend.

[Asker]

It wasn't a relationship but we saw each other for and then again he seemed like he wanted to go out again. He was giving compliments too but it all vaniahed when i didn't ask him out via texts. He became passive aggressive again.

On our first ever date I noticed that while he was sharing bits and pieces about himself, I was the only one asking him more questions. He wasn't asking me many questions. He also checked me out from head to toe

He had asked me where I live and told him but when I asked him, he dodged it at first and the 2nd time, he mentioned Richmond.

He said the break shall be in a different city (I told him my place is a student hall where I don't like living) so I'm assuming he didn't want to take me to his house and he knew he can't come to mine hence going to a different place?

He wanted a kiss but I didn't kiss him as I felt it was too early.

The 2nd date was awful. When I asked him about his recent plans, he kept saying he has friends inviting him for lunches and dinners and another friend is coming to visit him from Paris. So basically, all the "future plans" were gone.

He was very cold with me and he even said he doesn't want to keep me waiting for long with him. He was clearly not interested in talking to me and I noticed all he did was check me out and give forced, irritated replies.

At one point, he even stopped talking and started watching other people around us. He was also looking at my legs instead of being interested in our conversation smh.

Then a group of girls wearing tiny shorts came in and he pointed towards 1 girl whose ass cheeks were visible. He said he saw her on the tube and how he's not a creep but it was just a coincidence..

He also said he went on lunch with his female friend a day before and how he will be going over to another female friends house after our date.

When we parted, he gave me a hug but after that, he stopped meeting me and replying to me.

[wheist9095]

Okay so he's just an asshole. he's hiding something, He doesn't want you to know where he lives He doesn't Tell you anything substantial about himself or his recent plans. He might have a girlfriend, that seems like hiding a partner behavior.

Alternatively, other than him hiding something, he sounds like just an asshole. He just wants to fuck you, he wants to be in control of you and your relationship with him, he brings up other women and checks out of the girls around you to incite a feeling of jealousy, like because he's looking at another woman it would make you want his approval more.

And him not paying attention to you not asking you questions being short or irritable is another way of him showing that he has no interest in you as a person, just as something he can fuck

[Asker]

I ve seen him meeting other girls at bars too. And every few weeks, he's online a lot then the activity dreastically reduces.
He is also disappeared since the last month so I'm assuming he found a new girl to holiday with?

The thing that bothers me the most is him keeoing my number saved on whatsapp. It was my birthday and he didn't wish him. He never texts me. I dont text him and he knows he won't get sex from me.
And he's most likely with another girl.

Then whats the point of keeping my number?

[Asker]

didn't wish me*

[wheist9095]

I think to him the point of keeping your number is that he thinks eventually he would get to sleep with you. Because you haven't blocked him, and even though you don't talk he still has your number in case he gets bored he can throw another line out your way to see if he can catch you

[Asker]

I dont block or act out because I ve noticed that me acting unbothered really infuriates him so I feel that if I act out, he will get really happy that he was able to get a reaction out of me.

He has a huge ego and he is always acting like girls chase him. He won't chase them

Do you think this guy can ever change and commit? Is he fuckboy?

[wheist9095]

Maybe you can change maybe he can't. It's not your job to try and change somebody else. Don't waste your time trying to change somebody, go out and find somebody who already is who they should be

[Asker]

Yes true. But do you think he hates women that he acts so awfully? That no interest in personality only looking to fuck?
He also tends to have a lot of female friends

[IAteTwoFullHams]

I wouldn't call it "normal," but if he's rich and wants to spend a month fucking a new girlfriend in another country, I can't say I blame him.

[Asker]

I'm just asking if its normal or shady

[IAteTwoFullHams]

Like "could it possibly be real"?

Yeah. If he's rich, it could possibly be real.

[Asker]

A guy told me on the 1st date that he wanted a "1 or 2 week break" with me (hinting indirectly to me) to another city. He said we can stay at his friends cottage.

I said ok but we didn't kiss on the 1st date (he wanted to but I wasn't sure as he never mentioned what he wanted, whether he was looking for a relationship or casual).

He never texted me on his own and after 2 days I texted him. We met up again but he changed the whole plan, saying he's going to hang out with his friend who is visiting him.

What does this mean? Is this a red flag?

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[Jacobbbb]

I don't know I think it's kinda soon for something like that but that's just me. It'd be one thing if you knew him for months

[Asker]

A guy told me on the 1st date that he wanted a "1 or 2 week break" with me (hinting indirectly to me) to another city. He said we can stay at his friends cottage.

I said ok but we didn't kiss on the 1st date (he wanted to but I wasn't sure as he never mentioned what he wanted, whether he was looking for a relationship or casual).

He never texted me on his own and after 2 days I texted him. We met up again but he changed the whole plan, saying he's going to hang out with his friend who is visiting him.

What does this mean? Is this a red flag?

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[Jacobbbb]

Not sure maybe he thought about it and what taking a long ass trip with you entails and realized he wasn't ready for it. The fact that he just kinda ignored your existence for two days and then tells you the plan off is kinda weird tho

[Jacobbbb]

plan is off*