Boyfriend want to go on a 'lads holiday'?

[PrincessBubble]

he wants to go away for a week with like 4 of his boys.

he wants to go ibiza which is kinda known for just sex, sea and alcohol

I trust him 100% but all his friends are single and are obviously looking for girls the whole time,

Im really worried that he'll get drunk and his friends will encourage him to be unfaithful.

Ive talked to him about how I feel, and he reassured me that I'm just being paranoid.

how would you feel in my situation (girls and guys)?

[honeyltsme]

I've gone to Ibiza and it is a pretty amazing place for music.

I went to all the awesome clubs and pretty much partied 24x7 but I would not call it a sex scene. It is a bit hard to understand but people there just want to get lost in the liberating spirit of it as opposed to tediously, desperately look for a hookup with one another like they would at a watering hole back home. If the comparison makes sense, imagine you are at this amazing beach and the sun is caressing you and you have this beautiful moment with your girlfriends, and this dude comes over and crudely tries to hook up with you - would you do it? No, because it's just such a wrong time and place.

Tell him Blue Marlin is not to be missed. This is the place you go straight from the nightclub at 7 or 8 am, for the morning sun and tasty breakfast while listening to awesome music and taking a morning dip at the beach right there. The most refined beach club they have.

Ask him to bring you a large beach towel from one of their famous clubs to which he goes.

I do not see him cheating on you. However drugs is another story even if he never ever had them before the likelihood is high he will try them there. Nearly everyone who is young is doing them there.

[katylaura]

if you trust him 100%, he will not cheat. if he's that trustworthy and faithful, no amount of pressure from his friends or hot girls will make him have sex while he's away. if however there is any doubt, say only 99% trustworthy, the truth is that he might cheat on you while he's away. sex and alcohol are what lads holidays are about. I'm not saying he will cheat for sure, but if it's ever going to happen it's going to be during that week. and the chances of you finding out are small.

the problem though is that you cannot win in this situation. if you try and stop him going with an ultimatium, he'll go having broken up with you, or stay at home and resent the fact you stopped him having a holiday with his friends (possibly destroying the relationship further down the line). if you say nothing and let him go, he may or may not cheat, but you will always have doubts (which again could destroy the relationship in the future).

but if you trust him 100%, it will be fine.

[LadyTwiirl]

My boyfriend went on a lads holiday to Ibiza last year and the only time I worried was when he rang me saying him and his mates were going to some girls room for drinks but I told him how I felt on the phone and he didn't go the rest of the trip I don't know what happened but I trust him not to cheat. You can trust someone 100% that doesn't mean he isn't going to cheat alcohol releases all inhibitions. I am confident my boyfriend didn't cheat last year however he wants to go again this year and anything could happen I suppose you just have to be able to trust that your faith in him is not misplaced. He is also going to Dublin for one of his female friends 22nd birthday with his mates and I hope he has a good time if you are enthusiastic and show that you want him to have a good time it makes you feel better as well :)

[CrystalMinds]

How long are you two together now? His friends may do that, yeah, but he has to be smart enough to say no. If he says no and his friends will still push him and apply peer pressure, he has bad friends. Though this doesn't help u.

I don't trust people, so I would be totally paranoid during that week, but if he wants to go, who am I to say he can't? Or who are you to say he can't?

Why would his friends push him into cheating?

If he would cheat, then he's a f*face you're better off without.But if he doesn't cheat, then he's a loyal boyfriend who's worth of your time and love.

I'd say: let him go, let him have fun and try not to worry about it too much. If he loves you, he won't do anything wrong.

[PrincessBubble]

we've been together just over a year

& his friends are a**holes. one of them cheated o his pregnant girlfriend, the other slept with a prostitute while in a relationship. that's the only reason I'm paranoid.

im not sayin he can't go, because I woud never stop him from doing anything and I wouldn't expect him to stop me doing anything. This is just the first time we'll be apart for so long and being in another country, there's hardly any contact, which doesn't help

but thanks for the advice :)

[CrystalMinds]

You could text or call, right?

Hm, sounds like his friends are a**holes indeed :s but that doesn't mean your boyfriend will do something like that. You're together for a while now, it would be stupid to risk what you have over a night of drunk "fun"...

[xXxLouiseRxXx]

I have been with my boyfriend over a year and I would feel the same way as you. you just need to show him before he leaves why he shouldn't cheat on you, have a hot date with him or something, and when he is there text him now and again and remind him you love him.

If you really trust him and he is trust worthy he won't look at another girl without think about how he misses you or thinking about you.

Everything will be OK, Just show him you trust him.

[PrincessBubble]

thanks :)

[Prof_Don]

This guy has what we call "free will".

Nobody can FORCE him to do anything against his will.

If he caves in to the pressure and cheats...he can't blame that on the friends, the females, the drugs, or the alcohol.

His friends can't MAKE him cheat. If he does it's HIS choice.

My point? If he is 100% faithful to you...nothing from the outside will affect that. :)

Btw...does HE 100% trust YOU? This is important because you are gonna be away from him while you're worried about HIM cheating...

...he may have the same concern.

[PrincessBubble]

thats a very good point.

he does have trust issues tho, tbh after reading your comment I think he'll be too busy worried about me cheating on him

[stubbsy]

Trust or not, this guy will cheat, and your probably never know about it, but if your happy with never knowing, let him go, otherwise let him know that everyone who goes to Ibiza has sex, so the relationship is over, this way your see exactly what he thinks of you by him going or choosing you over his mates,x

[Bowesy]

Where there is trust, there will always be uncertainty as you cannot trust anyone as much as you do yourself.

My advice, believe in him. You must put trust in people to see if it is well placed.

If something happens, then they have broken your trust- even if alcohol is involved. The person in question should know there limits and not overestimate if they don't.

Then it is down to your discretion what you do if by chance they break your trust.

[imsocold25]

I would let him go trust him I think if he had the "need" to cheat on you he's going to do it rather its while he goes away that weekend or any other day. his friends has nothing to do with his will power and the respect he has for you he's grown man his going to do what he wants

[seeyousoon]

hey,lastly I had the same problem with my boyfriend he wanted go on ibiza with friends but I said him that I don't like this fact because there is always party ,i mean sex,alkohol,drugs,party and I would feel worry that some girls can do stupid..on ibiza there is usually so,i told him that I trust him full but I worry that something can happen.he understood it.i think you should speak with him openly about it.

[Brando]

So you are unsure of this, but asked another question about why your boyfriend doesn't like you going out partying?

Hmmm, seems like there is unequal trust going on here...

[PrincessBubble]

partying for 5 hours and being in a different country for a whole week are two completely different things

[Brando]

Are they? Both are meant for fun, you just don't like the distance or the fact that you can't be there with him. Yet, he's not with you when you go clubbing. It could be in a different country or across town, if you two aren't in each others' presence then it's the same concept.

[froggyboy51]

I want to go to Ibiza! But seriously..its a tough one. Trust is trust. Let him do it and have a good time. I know a few guys who have girlfriends and they might wing the single ones and not do anything. But even for guys who have girlfriends..the compliments and the flattery is always nice.

[Anonymous]

Men don't like jealous women just as much as women don't like jealous men. If you show us you are, it's an instant turn off.

Also, how can you say you trust him 100% then say "I'm worried his friends will pressure him while he's drunk". That's contradictive.

Just relax, I think he'll be fine

[Anonymous]

"I trust him 100% "

Except when you don't. Which is now.

Why lie to yourself, to us and to him? You obviously don't trust him 100%.

And if you can't even be honest about that, where the hell are you?

[PrincessBubble]

i trust him. I just don't trust his friends or other girls, they can be manipulitive.

[Opinion Owner]

If you trust him, then you'll know he won't do anything.

[StephanieL]

Ibiza? He will get laid whether he wants it or not.. That place is too dangerous if you're not single.

[crazybastard]

man he will f*** girls I'm telling you. and he's gonna get herpes and then he'll f*** you and you'll have herpes. so watch out for that. nice t*ts by the way

[Xx_DRE_xX]

Somebody is in the DMV I see haha.