How does a guy who says he loves me, break up with me just like that?

[Anonymous]

On and off for six years.

[DaveJord]

Well if you were on and off again for 6 years there was reason for all of that, doesn't sound like true love to me.

[Asker]

Actually, don't you think certain breaks are necessary so that one can step back and realize certain things about someone or the situation? I mean no one's perfect. I thought that through time, it can reveal if someone is meant to be in your life or not?

[DaveJord]

Well I am not one of these "love at first sight" or someone who believes in "soul mates."

I do believe that when two people met and are meant to be they make it as easy as possible on and for each other to work through their problems and be together.

So no I don't agree with breaks, I think it's the easiest thing and most selfish thing a person can do is walk away from or pause a relationship just so they can "work on themselves" alone.

When ever a women does this to me, it. never works out. If she has to step back to realize things, then that's a her issue not a me issue. I usually move on, pretty quickly... I never just hang out waiting, hoping or wishing.

[driven159]

Time for you to make the breakup permeant and move on just wasting your time with him find someone better

[Asker]

I am almost in my 40's (38). I hope that can still happen for me but if not, well..

[driven159]

40 is not old now there are so many people looking for the right person you will find it

[spartan55]

He told you what you wanted to hear when you needed to hear it.

[Asker]

Why? That's mean. Glad I didn't go all the way with him then!

[spartan55]

You didn't have sex with him in six years?

[Asker]

If you're realy interested:

Met him in November of 2015. That month and year, yes.
January - Aug 2016: A few times but there was one month in May that we broke up for a month and so..
Sept 2016-2019: we were broken up/apart so no.
May 2020: He comes down to see me for some reason. I profess that I still loved him and wanted to work on things. He shuts me out by e-mail and tells me if I contact him that he'll have to get legal. That hurt. ... By this time, he went to jail for DV (he poured water on me and pushed me but that was just an accident he said. He had a lot of anger issues back then.). That was in 2016. He moved, as I said, in Aug 2016, to be with his parents in Clio, CA. But his parents had a hard time with him there too. He got kicked out because he was caught doing drugs I think. He went back here maybe in 2017 or 2018, I wasn't sure.
2020, May, was the first time (in a long-time I had seen him). I always thought that wasn't him and so I was always quick to forgive his shortcomings and our misunderstandings.
2022: July 19, he rings my door and tells me that he still has feelings for me. I give it another chance because well, yeah... I am 38, he's now 47, and well, so much time has passed... and if he still feels something...
Two weeks later, I find him drunk as a skunk in a street corner... so much drama... =( and then he breaks up with me then and there because he blames ME for putting him in jail, when he was the one that laid hands on me!! ...

He also has multiple other criminal records including Assault and battery (someone else) and robbery.

You can call me stupid for falling for someone with so many red flags... go ahead. His other red flags, when I first met him, was that he had an ex-wife and child, which I called baggage and I wasn't down with that, but then I realized that I couldn't change his past as much as I could change mine.

😥 I really really wanted a happy ending this time... but I guess not...

[spartan55]

I'm not going to pile on, you seem to realize you made repeated bad decisions with this guy.
Remember: people show you who they are early in a relationship. It's wise to be mindful of that.

[Guy13]

because you allow him too. Walk away and be done with it !!

[Asker]

Only because I VALUED the relationship and valued him. Did he feel the same? ? ! =/

[Guy13]

To me, one that assigned Value to relationship does not do what he did here. 2 years in 💍 signifies Value.

[Asker]

Thanks. I'm still grieving but hey at least it's better to know and not long anymore. It sucks. He and I were physically compatible too. And I really thought he loved me! I was willing to go the distance with him despite him being 8 years older than me and everything else that's happened in the relationship!

And yes, there was emotional compatibility in there too, but because he had drug (weed, etc.) and alcohol issues, not to mention a host of other mental health issues, wasn't consistent.

[Guy13]

I’m sorry that you are heartbroken. The only good thing about that is it shows that you have the capacity to love and a conscious. The right guy, who recognizes and appreciates thst, will come along.

[UniquelyBasic]

Well he doesn't actually love you. He is just saying what you want to hear.

[Asker]

Wow that's mean/cruel. Where's the integrity?

[BarryLiverstone]

Because he lied

[Od94bt]

Maybe he's a liar

[Asker]

Why? What good would that do except break the trust between us? ! ... Unless he really didn't care about me and my feelings... he was so confusing! There were times he seemed he did care, but then, there were times, well...

[Fo945by]

Welcome to the rral world guys will tell you absolutely any lie they think or know will get your goat. They have no scruples or shame about doing so just to get sex or money or any other thing they want.

[Asker]

@Fo945by Yeah not everyone is like that though. I guess with my luck...

You shouldn't paint every guy with the same brush, just saying. Sure there are guys like that, I get that. But this guy was with me (through the bad) at certain times, and he basically waited for me, for some time. I did the same. I figured that if it was meant to be, we'd find our way towards each other some how. I think we almost even had a child many years ago. There was definitely a spritual connection there. This isn't some STRANGER that is playing hotsie Totsie! I know those things all too well...

But then, maybe you're right, even after some time? !

How do I KNOW then, if someone is telling the truth, other than actions, when, even their actions aren't good!

[Fo945by]

Don't fornicate. Dont give men money. Dont sext.