Mixed signals or am I imaging things?

[JC1981]

So long term guy freind... I did proposition him over a year ago, rejected with the "I'm not in a good place right now, I just wanna be friends ". And awhile after that I got the dreaded " It would be like kissing a cousin " line. All cool and I excepted it. We do heaps together walks, movies, most of the time we're at my place. Super drunk night, he reveals to me his darkest childhood trauma and said he only tells me these things, tells me if there was someone in the universe he'd be matched to it would be me. Starts going on about all the wild sex he's had, he never talks about sex and it's a subject I tend to avoid now. Compliments, long eye contact, telling me I'm the closest person to him. Personal boundaries and space is respected but after a few to many he breaches but isn't all over me. We stay up all night just talking, offered if I ever need money or upset need a vent to call him... Shit like that... I'm so confused.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he loves you... But realizes he's a mess and doesn't want to harm you with his mental health problems. I've been there... Loved her enough to not mess her up. It's a theory, extrapolated from personal experience. You could ask... But he could deny, too. Be patient with him. Love him as your best friend... I know that is what I wanted with the woman I speak of. She's still my best friend. I know she loves me... And, going through the therapy I'm going through, I believe that I will eventually believe I can be with her without hurting her.

If that's the case, no man will love you more. Just be patient with him and he'll eventually be ready to show you.

Of course, this is going off the presumption that his childhood traumas created any disorders.

[JC1981]

Thanks for the insight. Yes his trauma caused PTSD, anxiety, depression. He has made remarkable progress over the last year. So proud of him facing what happen to him.

[RealMarek]

It sounds as if he doesn’t want to commit to you but deep down there is some attraction on his part. Alcohol lowered his inhibitions.

[spartan55]

He turned you down, what are you confused about?

[JC1981]

I get that and fine with it. Just strange change in behaviour is all.

[spartan55]

He just likes that he is able to get girlfriend energy from you.

[JC1981]

Yeah fair call, that thought had crossed my mind. Thanks for the insight.

[Guy13]

He is a commitment phobia guy, right?

[JC1981]

More than likely, all his realationships never go beyond 2 years and he'll self sabotage.

[Guy13]

Why even consider one like this? Are you outside of a City?

[JC1981]

Yeah kinda. About an hour outside the city. I shut that thought down when I got the cousin line lol

[Guy13]

There you go !!