Do you consider being defensive a bad thing?

[OlderThanILook]

I am pretty defensive. If I feel bad energy from someone, I'll preemptively go into prick mode. Normally it's not an issue because I hate arguing and being in situations where I'd have to argue or fight with someone in the first place, but I have my moments. I almost never actually mean the stuff I say, I just don't want to let my guard down and get played by someone with bad intentions. What do you honestly think about that?

Updates

+1 y

I won't say anything back this time. Be as honest as you want.

[dynamicyandere]

I think it depends on how you go about it.


If you have certain options or views or stances on things that other people disagree with, you can definitely defend your views, stand firm in what you think, and be as stubborn as you like. People may disagree with you or want to be confrontational with you, but there’s nothing wrong about having strong options and standing by them. You can calmly and respectfully agree to disagree.


Now, where things can go bad is if your defensiveness is very REACTIONARY. When you don’t have control over it. Like, someone says something that pushes your buttons and you start to go off on them. THAT doesn’t serve you and it doesn’t help anyone. It makes you easily manipulated. It makes you a prime target for trolls, and you’re giving anyone the power to f*ck up your peace of mind, as long as they know the right buttons to push. Being defensive in this kind of way, makes you emotionally volatile, more susceptible to manipulation, robs you of your peace of mind, and makes you less respectable in the eyes of both mean AND women.


So, it’s okay to defend yourself, with a clear level-headed state of mind.


But, it’s best not be “defensive” in a way where your judgement is clouded, you’re reactionary, you’re not thinking clearly, and you’re letting your raw volatile emotions run the show.


People hardly ever make good decisions when they’re in that mental/emotional state and it’s a sure path to regretful decisions.

[dynamicyandere]

in the eyes of both men*

[Juxtapose]

Not necessarily but so many people are so dickish that it's best to ignore the vast majority of them.

[FilmGuy93]

That's a bad thing most of the time, yes.