Why are girls obsessed with guys that have confidence??

[Anonymous]

It just f***in' pisses me off, seriously, why are girls wired, programmed like that? why do they love guys with confidence so much? because that's why the bad boy gets the girl and the nice guy doesn't, seriously, why is confidence the mother, epitome of all attractiveness in a guy that girls love? It really pisses me off, why do girls love a take-charge guy? a guy who leads, not follows. Why is a guy's mental strength far more important than his physical strength? why can't we humans just legalize assault, public street fighting, because that's how animals do it, the adult male animals fight each other, and the winner gets the girl, unfortuneately us guys have to use our words, that is for p******, cowards, wimps, I can show a girl I have confidence and I have balls by being a fighter instead of using charm, words, conversation.

Updates

+1 y

people will say "it goes back to the caveman days, women want a man that will be a good provider and help protect her and her children, babies", haha, boring, in case you did not know, Adult Male Lions, and Adult Male Animals in many species will kill newborn offspring, not saying I will do that, but they do that so the Female will mate with them again, and the Female accepts, like an Adult Female Lion will let an Adult Male Lion have sex with her after he murdered her babies

Updates

+1 y

Nature is harsh, but if we look at it fundamentally, this is what keeps the lions alive. Without a dominant male, the pride is going to be vulnerable to all predators, especially those after the young. The rogue male is the perfect fit. He will create his own young and give it's life protecting the new pride.

[drummerdude25]

That's funny, your statement about girls "wanting guys that lead, not follow"... I feel that most guys that are "attractive" to women are followers. All the cool kids... Many guys try to sleep with as many girls as possible because for one, it's a social "norm" that's expected of them at this age, and also an attempt to gain approval.

I feel like a good percentage of young people have (roughly) the same personality as well... Certain "catch-phrases" or slang terms catch on and it's like you see a ton of people incorporate them into their "own" personality as if to say, "I'm cool!" I mean, most people have their own mannerisms and such, so that helps, but I still feel so many people act a certain way or say certain things just to fit in... Some of these people you could call Alpha Males/Females.

I feel that generally, the stereotypical "good" people... The nice/good guys and girls, or the people that have matured beyond this whole influence of peer pressure, I feel these people are good at being themselves in every sense of the word... Always striving to do the right thing despite it being unpopular at times. TRUE leaders... Throw these people into the mix in society. All of the "followers" are out being kids, and they're the ones always getting dates and are the "attractive" individuals. Honestly at this moment in time, I feel as though I literally CAN'T begin to truly like a girl because I don't get enough sense of individuality/maturity from any of them. They all put on this snobby little "whatever" front and are party-obsessed... Typical, just like the typical "bad boy"... and you can't really commit to someone like that. If people want to find something deeper, they have to change. They have to grow.

Idk, I just feel like good people that put their true selves out there, aren't appreciated by the majority of society and their peers... They're "too different/weird" even if they're totally not, or maybe the better thing to say is, they're just "uncool" by everyone else's standards. If you legitimately fall for someone, it makes you "weak" or "spineless" because then all you want to do is make them happy, and be liked in return... It's an emotionally vulnerable state to be in, simply put... Doesn't matter if you're male or female, we're all human.

This sounds a bit off-topic I suppose, but I know what you're asking, and I agree it's ridiculous, especially to the extent girls say they require confidence. They expect things to work out, when they can't even allow a guy to show her that he's human and has a genuine crush on her, and is different than most people (not in a bad way). Only when a guy beats a girl at her own "game", will she go out with him, and if you think about it, not only does it sound superficial already, it sounds like a typically flawed relationship from the start, and it's only a matter of time before it's over...

[Ada-Fae]

Ahh. I'd definitely agree with your statement that most guys that are "attractive" to women are followers. They also, quite often, have lower self esteem and confidence than others, because they are always in the limelight and need to continue to keep things 'cool', regardless of the situation. It is a lot of pressure, especially since the person they oft' pretend to be, isn't anywhere close to the person they are, or would truly wish to be.

[Asker]

i hate how girls have such high standards

[moviedude714]

well we humans are not Lions or other species of Animals, they don't have logic which we do, that's why humans do not committ infanticide, but you do make a good Scientific point, argument

[Ada-Fae]

I honestly don't understand how other girls can request confidence at all times from their guy, while they themselves aren't confident. I suppose that's the point, one has to make up for the other.

Yeah, I'd want mine to like himself, because obviously he'd hold a hell of a lot of worth in my eyes, and I'd want him to see that. The difference though, is that I'd want him to be human, to be vulnerable and to be able to be down around me, without feeling like he has to have this constant mask of fake confidence.

Now, on to your second point.

A guy's mental strength is far more important because it is what girls can relate to. If you haven't noticed, we don't spend our time having play battles or wrestling for fun. Girls have their wars with each other in the mental realm.

[Tentacle_Therapist]

It's not that we need a guy who's literally brimming with unlimited confidence, it's that the things not associated with general confidence (ie self-deprecation, self-pity, cowardice, and being a whiny bitch) are all so unattractive qualities. We're not asking you to be Superman, just not this guy:

link

That's how I see it, at least.

[Asker]

bitch

[Tentacle_Therapist]

Well, I guess we solved the mystery why you suck with women. :)

[realitysetsin]

Girls know they are attracted to 'the jerk' it's the way we work. We can say that we wan't the good guy and as much as we mean it we will always be attracted to the "dangerous" one , sadly not the one that we know will make us happy. That is what confidence means to most girls. But don't forget, most girls are wrong.

[Asker]

why do you girls have such high standards?

[tex151]

Your confusing the word nice with wuss, there is a big difference. Any guy can be nice and get a chick in fact a girl would rather go with a guy who is nice as opposed to an ass. Being nice just simply means kind, charming, funny, fun to be around type of guy. I would say most guys are that way.

Being a wuss is always complaining about something about yourself, maybe your looks, maybe your weight, things like that. It's one thing to think negatively about yourself, but a complete turn off to express those feelings to women, to them your one of there female friends, because women complain about everything, so she hears that all the time from her friends, and now your doing the same thing, it's a turn off.

A guy with confidence doesn't complain about himself or others, he doesn't look down on himself, he looks at things as opportunities not a set back, he does't care what people think about him.

[Asker]

gosh, women are something else

[Asker]

it must be so easier being a woman

[Asker]

women sure have higher standards

[Summeroflove]

Look. Girls into shitbag men are usually shitbags. Find who likes you. Not all women are the same. There is amazing women. But they don’t want someone whose sexist.


If you hate all women. Women with self respect will leave you alone. And you’ll only attract women who will use tku or who will cheat

[Anonymous]

Because no one wants to hear a guy bitching and moaning and groaning about how ugly orfat he is, or how much he hates himself, etc. it gets old...same goes for girls. I can't even tell you how many times I've blew it with a guy due to me being insecure.

[Asker]

he can easily gain confidence if you accept him, if you approve of him, unfortuneately it does not work that way

[Opinion Owner]

Take your penis out of that knot. We love insecure boys, happy?

[Asker]

well not really, us guys have to love ourselves before somebody else can, we have to be independent like that

[Opinion Owner]

Lol last comment was not meant for question asker sorry. Accidentally posted that under my answer when I meant to post it under another answerer

[lorahayes]

not so much confidence, just someone who is sure of themselves? just not moany and depressed, at least for me. but I would say intelligence over 'confidence' anyway.

[Asker]

why is being secure with yourself a masculine thing?

[lorahayes]

i never said it was a masculine thing, I think it goes for both genders that you would find someone more attractive who seemed happy with themselves, as opposed to someone moaning all the time, being unhappy and stuff...? its very hard to be in a relationship with someone with depression, I did it for 2 years and it took me to rock bottom. now I'm looking (well, not looking but) for someone who is happy, sure of themselves, someone that won't bring me down.

[Asker]

yeah but being confidence, being secure with yourself, it is imperative for a guy to be that way, however, most guys will accept a girl who is insecure with herself as long as she is hot

[lorahayes]

ok, well I'm bisexual and all I'm looking for is someone who is happy within themselves.

'hotness' might be a guys main decider for what they want... but its certainly not mine and if I knew a guy was only interested in me because of my looks I would run far far away from him. haha. plus women are the more attractive sex, so men need some other level of attractiveness because they don't adorn themselves, with makeup, aceessories, etc.

[Kelandry]

Well, actually a lot of guys do care about and want confident women

But personally I would prefer a guy who was less confident and more open. If a guy is honest, dependable, faithful and treats me right that's all I care about. If he would like to become more confident then id like to be able to work on that with him and help him.

but I certainly wouldn't rule any guys out because they aren't 'confident' - I'm actually more wary of them.

[Asker]

i don't care if a girl has confidence as long as she is hot

[kheserthorpe]

Apparently, girls who slept with guys like that, the kids did better. The evidence is that's who we're descended from.

Including you.

YOU are the descendant of the smartest, toughest, fastest, most cunning bastards who walked the face of the earth. Your ancestors were the winners, and you're the product.

So stop moping and start being the man you were born to be.

[Warren]

This might be true if women vastly outnumbered men, but alas this is not the case. It's rare that a man dies a virgin today, and it was still true thousands of years ago. All types of men breed, unlike many other species where the weaker males are often cast out while the stronger males procreate with multiple females. The 'average' and the 'losers' far out number the fastest, toughest, smartest and most cunning bastards of history.

[kheserthorpe]

We haven't evolved much in the last 3000 years.

We're all the product of the winners. Now the fact is, unfortunately perhaps, that the other 3 billion men on the planet are ALSO the product of winners, so you might feel a little competition ;)

But most of us do better when we allow our inner masculinity to shine through.

[Asker]

and if I refuse?

[kheserthorpe]

Then you can live your life the way you want it.

Its only if you want other people to respond to you in a specific way that you need to ask if you want to change your behavior.

[Asker]

oh well, I hate it but I have no choice, because it's easier to attract people with your body, looks, than it is with your confidence, social skills, conversation skills, attitude, status

[Anonymous]

Because...I'm confident and know what I want and I want my guy to be confident. I don't have time for insecurities. I like a guy who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go for it.

[Asker]

yeah but you don't want a guy to force you, but yet you want a controlling dominant guy, hypocritical

[Opinion Owner]

Where did I write above I want a controlling dominant guy?

[Asker]

well girls always want the guy to lead

[Opinion Owner]

LOL, 23 days later.

[Asker]

had things to do, but yeah that's my point, argument that I am making

[Opinion Owner]

You FAIL big time!

[Asker]

why is that?

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know. Just saying it :D

[Asker]

well there is no denying what I said

[Opinion Owner]

OKAY!

[Asker]

you girls still have it easier, why can't you realize that?

[Anonymous]

Because they lack confidence themselves and they want someone to have what they lack.

Its human nature-- people like things thatt they don't have or they lack

Example: Girls are attracted to strong guys because they are weak physically and wise versa.

So, its a human nature.

[Opinion Owner]

down vote as much as you want.

[Asker]

so much easier for women

[Gregs]

You can be a fighter, go do boxing or MMA, what you will find is a bunch of other guys that can beat the crap out of you

[Asker]

better to die with honor than to live with shame and misery

[Gregs]

yeah, but you want to get girls by beating up other guys, the only problem is you are probably not that strong, if you were then you could be an athlete and get women by the truck load. Trust me, it's probably much better for you that you have a chance to get women by talking to them

[Asker]

but what if I could beat up a girl's boyfriend, win the fight and then she will accept me knowing that I am much more stronger, much more "manly" than her socalled "man" was

[Gregs]

Dude, are you retarded? if that was the case then you would soon be beat up by someone else, or their boyfriend would shoot you. You basically want to get any girl by beating up guys weaker than you who managed to score, but don't want anyone who is stronger to challenge you, and you wonder why you can't get a woman?!? f*** me

[Asker]

and you think I'm physically weak?

[Gregs]

Are you an elite athlete? and you a decent athlete period? If you were that physically strong you would have no problem getting chicks because you would be good at some sport, so yes, in the grand scheme you are weak and should be thanking your lucky stars that society works this way because you would be the first to go if it didn't

[ImSoSozzled]

lol owned

[Asker]

i'd rather get my assed kicked than get rejected by a girl

[socalgamehater2006]

they have higher standards

[Anonymous]

tell me about it, pisses me off