Why do guys like confident women?

[Anonymous]

I am not confident at all. In fact I really don't like myself. I would go as far as to say that I hate myself. A lot of the time on TV or online, I see people ask men what they find attractive in a woman. Many of them say confidence. What is so attractive about confidence? Why does it matter so much to have it. Lastly, how the f*** do I get some?

[The-Nash]

Personally, I think there's two kinds of confidence:

1: Confidence a person can assume

2: Confidence you earn

I like a girl who seems confident-yet-humble (#2, lol). And really all that is - is not being afraid to smile and show/tell me who you are; lol, 'cuz if I like ya, I'm going to try and get to know you.

And well, confidence if a few things, it's believing/having faith in your abilities to accomplish something(#2), or keeping a level of certainty about yourself (#1,that's the majority of what you see on t.v.) and both make a person seem confident, but you want to be confident because you can talk the talk, and walk the walk. You don't want to talk the talk and not be able to produce when people tell you to "prove it" when you confidently say you can do something (hypothetically speaking, lol).

Easiest way to solve this: work on the things that interest you, and the things you're passionate about in life, and your goals - and become confident in them because you practiced/worked hard to become better at whatever it is that you like doing/interested in. And once you start working towards what you're passionate about, you gain trust in your abilities and judgment.

Example: say you were interested in the piano, and loved music, so you take a class. In that class you sit next to a cute guy. At first you don't know how to confidently get his attention. --

But back to the class, because of your hypothetical interest in the piano, you started practicing, and getting good. A few weeks go by in the class and you see the guy-you-like struggling with learning how to play. And because you trust in your judgment and abilities, you can see what's happening and relate to him and there's less pressure on opening a conversation because you know where you want to steer it - you want to offer him a little help, maybe some pointers that helped you along the way. So you say to him: "what's up, having some technical difficulties?"

He laughs and says: yeah, I can't seem to get the handle of this one particular song"

And blah, blah, blah, you show him how you do it/whatever/some small talk and then just go back to what you were doing. You can talk the talk and walk the walk, and get to the point of the matter, confidently.

Now, same scenario, see a cute guy etc. . . few weeks go by and you're like:

her: "Hey, what's up?"

him: "Not much, how are you doing in this class?"

her: "Oh, I'm doing great, I sound awesome when I play"

him: "Oh man, I'm having some problems. . ."

her: "Really, with what?

him: "This song on this page in the book- I don't get the rhythm, and it sounds funny. . ."

her: "Oh, that sucks. . . " (and because you weren't practicing like up above, you can only talk the talk, and not walk the walk, guess what you got now) . . . Nothin' but dead silence and the sound of 'crickets' (lol, why there are crickets in this hypothetical classroom?, I don't know why, but it's my answer and I want 'em there haha)

But you see what I'm getting at in at here.

[paigep929]

you can't physically SEE confidence, but when you have it, you act completly different. I used to feel the same way about myself, and be super shy. I never had a bf. but, now I am confident and find myself beautiful, and I don't pick at every little flaw. I have tons of guys that are interested in me now. when you are confident, you feel more outgoing, so you talk to new people, and make new friends, and the more friends you have, the more likely it is you'll have one that likes you.

how you can get it... first figure out why you hate yourself. there is usually something wrong going on in your life, like a death of a loved one, you don't get along with ur parents, bad grades, etc. then when you figure out the problem, think of many possible solutions to fix ur problem.

once the major things are taken care of, do little things that make you feel good about yourself(thats not bad for your heath!) lyk, go buy some new clothes, get a cute haircut, get ur nails done, etc, just something that makes you feel really pretty.

then, be social. its kind of hard at first, but it feels natural after a little while. if you have 2, fake more confidence, and you will really feel it soon. just remember, don't be stuck up because nobody likes that

[brightlywound12]

look in the mirror.

look at your eyes, your nose, your mouth, your skin, your smile...everything.

find ONE thing that you can say, "i like that."

then, think of ONE thing that you are good at.

even if its just picking out books to read or something.

then, make up a title for yourself.

"i am a girl with gorgeous eyes that loves to read."

it sounds better than saying "i have okay eyes but all I like to do is read."

what I'm saying is, confidence starts inside. you have to convince yourself that you have stuff to be confident about before you can convince anyone else.

confidence is attractive because if you like yourself, people will want to know why.

[Asker]

"confidence is attractive because if you like yourself, people will want to know why."



This makes sense. I hope I can become for confident. Thanks for the advice.

[Anonymous]

confidence means that you believe in yourself.

guys find it attractive when a girl believe in herself,

they think that, "she deserves to be with me, she is confident about herself"

how other people, guys specifically can believe in you if you don't believe in yourself?.