I’m confident and I’m independent. Most guys like me but I don’t find this out until their close friends tell me and most of the time they feel intimidated to ask me out. But, what I don’t understand is why they feel the need to think I would sleep with them. Do men like when women take charge in the bed and not so much in a relationship?
If I opened up a restaurant and the only thing on my menu was a poop burger, and no one patronized my restaurant, I could blame potential customers and call them names and whatever else, but it would be obvious to nearly everyone that my problem was simply that I was offering a product that no one wanted.
Here's a hint: men have NO INTEREST in "strong, independent women." We don't hate them, we simply DO NOT CARE about them or for them. They're free to go and be strong and independent and no one is going to try to stop them, but at the same time, most men have no more interest in being in a relationship with such a woman than they do biting into a big ole' poop burger.
Most women today have NO IDEA what men want in a woman, and have NO INTEREST in even finding out. Men are so tired of trying to explain to women what they want, and being shamed and blamed and called names for having their own desires and standards, that they're simply choosing to walk away. Strong and independent women need to go be strong and independent, and understand that men don't want them, and they're going to be alone - that's the consequences of their choices. You cannot offer a man zero value (based on what MEN value) and still expect to men do all the work and make all the sacrifices to be in a relationship with such women. We simply aren't interested.
In case you ARE interested in learning what men want from women, you can read my post here:
Does Guys Only Like Girls For Sex Or Just For Their Bodies For Sex?
Your education, your career, your income, and your independence brings NO VALUE to a man - in fact, those things often bring NEGATIVE value to a man. We won't stop you from making those choices - we're just not going to be in a relationship with you. If you want a real, committed relationship, then you have to bring what WE value. Otherwise, we'll either find what we want elsewhere, or we'll be alone. And it's far easier for men to be alone than it is for women, especially as women age.
"Most women today have NO IDEA what men want in a woman, and have NO INTEREST in even finding out. Men are so tired of trying to explain to women what they want"
No, we are precisely tired of men projecting their ideals onto us like it's universal. Any woman who tries to follow what men want like it's a one-formula-fits-all soon finds out the hard way that no matter what they do there will always be men out there who like something different. Acknowledging that different men like different things and there is no one way to please all men will generally make any woman's life much better.
Men are absolutely intimidated by confident and independent women. Men absolutely care and try to bring down strong women because it is a sick game of self-gratification for them. If men simply "didn't care" then women wouldn't be fed with the message to dumb themselves down around men. You wouldn't come to the internet telling women how out of everything you don't care about, this is one thing you absolutely don't care about. I don't care about music, I won't go on a first date with a band musician and come online the next day ranting about how women don't give a shit about music so band players should stop talking about how they are vocalists/drummers/whatever.
All of this is pure negging and strong independent women can absolutely see through that. Seen that, been there, learned my lesson the hard way.
@CubsterShura This👏🏻👏🏻
Lol. You can believe what you like, but your outcomes will reflect whether or not you are right. I'm trying to give the women who are willing to listen the keys to getting the relationship the want so much, and to be successful long-term. Most women who choose not to listen aren't likely to have successful relationship outcomes.
That's not going to affect me either way.
I read what you wrote. I'm listening to you lol. But you failed to show me why I should take anything you said to heart especially when the truth out there is quite the contrary for most folks.
If anyone disagreeing with you is "a woman who doesn't listen", that says more about you than it does about me.
@CubsterShura you can't tell men what we should want. Bottom line is most men despise modern feminist women. Men want women that are pure and soft and sweet and young and fertile. They couldn't care less about your degree or how accomplished you are. It's as useless as a guy bragging about how well he plays video games to a woman.
@ImalwaysrightOK no one is telling men what they should want. You want what you want, don't expect women to revolve their lives around what you want.
"It's as useless as a guy bragging about how well he plays video games to a woman." Exactly. But women don't go and tell men to stop playing video games because women find it unattractive. Y'all get mad at women for just living their lives when it's not about you.
This is the most misogynistic (and stupid) thing I've read today. Wow. Men are really insecure, eh? Need to feel dominant in relationships in order to even partake in them? Please go heal yourself.
Women today are confusing. I’ll tell you why.
- why doesn’t he give me enough attention, she gets it, then she’s turned off and thinks desperate and needy
- I want a guy to love me, he shows love, she considers him a simp
- men are chauvinist pigs! Some guys out there don’t mind taking a back seat and letting a woman lead. Know what happens here, BE A MAN! YOU EXPECT ME TO DO IT ALL! Meanwhile she wants to be considered the boss
- she talks about how she can emotionally or physically hurt a man, there are guys who for some reason enjoy dehumanizing themselves so women treat them poorly. There are guys and men out there who have kinks such as kicking a guy in the balls by a female. She hears this and is disgusted and considers him a freak.
- women complain that the male patriarchy is old and outdated. Meanwhile women won’t do the dangerous jobs, women won’t do the dirty jobs, women claim they are willing to go to war but when the moment comes she backs out because she says it’s a man’s job to fight in wars.
- women are confusing, feminism destroyed their minds, why would I be scared of a successful woman? If you are good for you, but women tend to be horrible bosses because they don’t know how to lead and they are rude about it. Eventually in the future what will scare women is when men rise up and fight back it’s not going to be pretty, the day of reckoning will come.
- I’m tired of the court system down here favouring women majority of the time with evil, vindictive, manipulative women out there. I mean heck, there are women out there who claim to be goddesses and anyone who’s a religious person will know claiming you are god is a huge sin. I don’t know if this is true or not but I’ve read and heard that there will be more women in hell on the day of judgment. Women often say my body my choice, your body and soul go back to God, your body on earth is temporary. Everyone’s soul gets judged by God for their actions and deeds.
- if any female reads this and says, see this is the reason why men suck is because of guys like this and posts like this. I never once said women shouldn’t pursue a career, but when God blesses you don’t belittle men like they are trash. I don’t mind cooking, cleaning and doing other things to contribute. But you know what, so should women. Young women today think cooking in the kitchen is oppression, meanwhile mothers growing up would work, come home and cook. But nowadays girls seem to care more about taking selfies and posting their life online to show off to others. This isn’t some male hating post, this is just a reminder why guys just want casual relationships with females and nothing more. I have no respect for women who treat men like shit and lie about rape or whatever.
Because most men are socialized to think that they have to be "needed" aka their partners have to be dependent on them. When you're independent and/or confident, that means you are no longer financially or emotionally vulnerable and you don't depend on anyone. Now it's no longer about whether you need a man and now it's about whether you like and want him. That requires them to bring more to the table and that's not what a lot of men are prepared for.
This is why it's a bad idea to get swayed by a man calling you hot.
Except no man is an island meaning to say no one is truly independent. So that would also mean men need women just like women need men. Those who are saying that they are independent are just lying to themselves and they also tend to be the ones who turns out to be incels, femcels, femininists and not really confident enough to embrace the nature of "no man is an island" it is just now you're starting to become so confident it's because you are now living in a modern world where anything can just be accessible for you that a lot of you just let it get through your head.
@Aiko_E_Lara yes, no one is an island. We need help, we need support, we need a network. You can have all those through your family, friends, colleagues etc. Sometimes we don't have the expertise or time to get certain things done on our own that's when we pay someone to do it for us. None of those require a romantic partner.
And romantic partners has nothing to do with dependence/independence. In a romantic relationship, both need each other to be involved and those who are like "i'm a strong and independent women" like what's the point really? To be in a relationship with someone only to be stranger you don't bond with?
@Aiko_E_Lara the point is that you are not dependent on your partner to sustain yourself, rather your partner is an addition to an already fulfilling life.
Well guess what? Nobody ever started out as being in a relationship. If being dependent on your partner is truly the norm, the most relationship would have actually been just one sided. And also just because if one agrees to be the house keeper, that doesn't mean they aren't really contributing anything. As a matter of fact, the working partner can also be dependent on their house spouse when comes to housework which is basically a part of life so it's still goes both ways. Any spouse who knows how to be single and who knows how to be married or in a lifetime relationship are those who are really suited in relationships.
Just for example, a working husband who is dependent to his housewife may have a hard time in his life taking care of the kids "if" he ever wins the custody, the cooking and other house chores which is going to make him a mess and may potentially affect his financial status as well. Backup i have said no one started out as being single so that rarely happens just like how rarely a housewife end up getting a homeless after a divorce. In fact, it is the man who tend to lose one third of their money, the house, his reputation and the kids during divorce so a "strong indie woman" may also just be depending on the government giving them more benefits and lack the contribution of love to his husband and the husband will just have no choice but to take it so that he won't lose anything which is a one sided thing.
*but as i have said, no one started out as being in a relationship
Insecure people in general hate confident women's guts
Yea I’m noticing that from the comment section
At least you said "people" so that includes women as well. And I wanna point out that insecure people are also afraid of confident men.
@ Asker and yet you don't realize how you sound.
Opinion
52Opinion
People who aren't sure of themselves struggle to feel comfortable talking to people who are confident in themselves.
So your saying a lot of different things:
-your confident and independent
-you think guys like you but not for the reasons your proud of
- why so men think they can have sex with you?
Do men want a women to take charge in the bedroom?
Do men want to lead in the relationship?
ok where do I start, the overall vibe I'm getting is that your estimating your value on basis of being hard to get, non-submissive and aggressive in the bedroom?
I can answer all these separately however the sum of all the questions amounts to this,
Am I, the way I am currently, good enough for the men I want, in a open relationship?
The answer is no for the mass majority of alpha men you want, and the reason is there can not be two alphas in a relationship therefore it would have to be an open relationship to be successfully becauee you want to lead and he wants to lead so while sexuality you two can coexist, in a relationship you two would be incompatible.
I could be wrong
Most people are shy and reluctant to take risks. Being men doesn't give us an innate ability to ignore that. It is just as nerve-wrecking for us.
If it seems different it is because of a louder minority of the people actually approaching being seen more than those who do not.
Your confidence does not make approaching you significantly different. It may somewhat change who is attracted to you but you're not much scarier to approach.
I'd say nearly all men enjoy women taking some initiative. Only difference is the extent.
Men are not afraid of confident women. Nor are they intimidated by them. In fact it's just the opposite. Insecure women drive men nuts.
But here's the thing. "Strong and confident woman" is usually a euphemism for either a feminist, or someone out to prove themselves. Both of which are huge turn offs. Not liking something is far different than being afraid of it, or being intimidated by it.
For me, having confidence is a must. I do NOT want someone who is insecure, or some kind of simpering helpless woman who can't do anything for herself. But a truly confident woman would never feel the need to announce to the world that she is "strong, independent and confident". Her actions speak for themselves. As soon as she feels the need to announce it, it becomes a turnoff.
Don't confuse not liking something with being afraid or intimidated by it.
I'm not afraid of confident women, your question is all over the place though, it contradicts itself and it makes no sense. You ask why men are afraid of confident women, then go on to state that you are confident, and that most men like you. So which is it?
Then it rambles on about who should initiate, presuming slutty behavior, and who would be taking charge in the bedroom, It screams "AI wrote your post". Either that, or you don't speak English well, and ran this through google translate...
Why are you so mad? And no I didn’t contradict myself. I don’t find out that they like me until their close friends tell me they do. Any other time I would just think they’re using me for sex and nothing else. Read between the lines
I'm not mad, I'm confused, and you did contradict yourself.
If they like you, they aren't afraid of you.
If they weren’t afraid they would’ve told me they liked me, stupid😂
I mean you can keep telling yourself that, but I've seen georgous women and said diddly squat to them about thinking they are hot more times than I can count, and I'm not afraid of any of them.
There is a right time, and a wrong time for everything, I prefer to restrict myself to dating best friends, so I won't tell a girl that I like her until a few years after I get the crush. But only if she lasts as a best friend long enough first. I need to be sure she's a match before I decide.
They "like" you, not "love" you. There is a big difference.
You are game and good company, not relationship material. Is what they are saying. To be fair, anyone that claims "independent" as a personality, as you are, is not a person who does well in any relationship.
Mainly as "independent" is the first thing you lose in any relationship, you need to give yourself over a bit, as does the other party. Also people who say they are "confident" without any reference, tend to be either insufferable, or incompetent.
"Independent"
Oh brother, not another blathering feminist.
You don't need a man? Great, men don't go where they aren't needed.
Go be "Independent" somewhere else.
Oh, by the way, I'm so scared.
Let me guess, I'm sure you were effing every dude in sight while going to school and becoming independent.
Yes, men so want to settle down with hoes.
You’re proving my point lol
How delusional modern women are? No, that was my point.
Ok, back to your delusion of how intimidating women who act like men are. It is a complete shock men go after women who act like women and don't go after women who act like men.
Back to fighting the patriarchy you go.
You get 0 bitches
I've got my wife and my 2 kids.
That isn't very female affirming language to refer to women as bitches.
You speak very vulgar and crass. How many of you. I wonder if any of your natural God given feminine traits still exist.
@asker so men are just supposed to accept whatever nonsense women want without any regards to the things we actually value and desire, geez feminists are delusional.
Because the "strong independent wahmen" types are the female equivalent of the "nice guy" types.
If you really possess those qualities, you wouldn't be running around constantly saying that you are, people will piece it together just by how you carry yourself. If you feel the need to do that, it's a good sign that you aren't what you're trying to make others think you are.
Want to know a good way to show someone you are confident? Ask a guy you like out instead. You will either find out that you will be getting a lot more dates that way or you'll end up getting rejected every time. That's why it takes confidence, you do it without taking the outcome personally. Confidence is not about everybody liking you, it's being ok with not winning them all, even none of them.
I think if you are truly confident and independent, you can try ask a man out. I'm sure there are plenty of men out there that wouldn't mind their woman to take charge, but you are most likely not going to get them to ask you out first. Ask them out for a lunch or dinner or a movie depend on your mood, maybe they'll like it.
If you want to take charge of a relationship, take charge.
At your age most girls are mentally ahead of boys their same age when it comes to interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence. Girls understand boys much better than vice versa. So guys acting intimidated just have caught up in maturity yet.
We're not afraid of confident women, we're afraid of rude disrespectful women.
That's the thing you know! And you know you fucked up miserably when you confuse arrogance and confidence.
Some women are just not raised well to respect men for their morals/ethics or character but rather only respects their pocket how much money... So this is what being BITCH is about! And we're not intemidated by that, the opposite we just dislike that.
Oh boy, are you in for a rude awakening when you enter the real world
You likely think life will be enjoyable, happy, stress free and filled with fun. We'll, hell is waiting for you but not in the afterlife, hell is right here and you're rapidly approaching it.
There's no way out, so enjoy your eternal suffering here!
Maybe the men who are intimidated aren't confident in themselves yet.
But I don't understand. If a man is intimidated by a girl, feeling the need to think she'd sleep with them wouldn't even be a thing. Thinking that wouldn't imply that they're intimidated. It leans more towards arrogance even.
Not sure why? I always found confidence to be an attractive quality. I'm not overly fond of a girl that I have to pussyfoot around all the time. I like to cut to the chase about things and I find confident women are the same way.
No, men are not afraid of confident women. Some guys are shy, so they struggle to approach any woman. But typically women who blame it on being confident, strong or independent have other issues that are the real problem.
And no, most guys do not want a woman to take charge in the bedroom. A few do, but the majority want a sexually submissive woman.
Insecure men after afraid of confident women. Confident men prefer them.
@ImalwaysrightOK LOL. Who said anything about domineering?
I’m not afraid. At least not in a bad way. Confidence and independence is good. As long as it’s genuine.
Maybe you just haven’t found the right one yet
I dont think its “confident” per say but it seems to throw them off if we’re TOO forward/independent/dominant
I mean, it will throw anyone off if a person is either one of those three right? We, as in boys and girls, are not habitual with that mich honesty lol😂
@The_Shadow_Dweller im not referring to attitude.
Please explain then. I would like to get it right.😅
Personally I find a confident woman incredibly sexy but I still for the most part enjoy them taking a somewhat confident submissive role in the bedroom
The main reason guys won’t ask a girl that they like out is fear of rejection. They’re just assuming you’ll say no.
Afraid of confident women or just don’t want to deal w then? Most of the time it’s the latter, men don’t want to deal w them especially “independent” women cause they seem to have an attitude especially toward men.
This mostly a feminist trope. There would be reasons why they don't ask a woman out and intimidation isn't one of them.
Confident women require a confident man. Given todays society, this necessarily and unfortunately means her options are quite limited.
Men are afraid of confident and independent women? I have Never heard that but that probably must be why some say our generation of men is so and so in derogatory manners.
Why does everything have to be about you?
Why can't those guys be shy about asking anyone out?
When you hear hooves you should be thinking 'horses' not 'zebras'.
Insecure guys beat down the non confident girls. I like a confident girl. I'm tired of the ones that complain about their job and all that. And life is so hard bla bla bla
I don’t think it’s confidence it’s “boss bitch” stuff guys hate. Most men want subservient women. Not a boss woman. This is in our DNA to survive as a species
Some egocentrical men who want to be perceived as dominant feel threatened when a woman show herself as powerful.
Not me. I love those two qualities in a woman. My wife, before she passed, had those qualities. She worked her way to a vice-presidency of a well known multinational company. I loved her competency.
No one is, females seem to equate shitty attitudes and shittier personalities as guys being afraid of confident females
From my experience most females with shitty attitudes and personalities look unfortunate.
Have you seen 1000 lb sisters
Ms. Asker. Here is the video-
https://www.youtube.com/embed/spOqrOf4Q3s No one is afraid of anyone. It is just people seem to avoid those people with attitude. Simple.
Is it you alone who is independent and successful? No, right? There are millions, if not billions, of other women/men who are the same.
Nobody cares about you, except you.
Speaking those things loudly tells that you lack humility and modesty. Which is a must in any human.
I find it so hilarious when these kinds of women think we're "scared" of them. LOL.
Are you sure you’re not confusing confidence with arrogance?
Look at the comments
not saying you're lying but they do say action speaks louder than words
They aren't. But a lot of guys your age (and some older ones too) are afraid of women in general.
They don't know how to express themselves around them. Very hard to be themselves, unless men are around each other. That's the way of the game.
I like both, in relationship and in the bedroom. I always loved to listen a women.
because you are confident, and most men are not confident
Ah yes. The grown men who run and hide whenever they see a woman who has confidence….
Usually when a guy is repulsed by a girl, though, it’s not because of her “confidence”
because your young and guys your age dont have the experience probably
Because confident women tend to be combative and have masculine traits. Men dont find that attractive
I am not afraid of them. Though most women don't go for me.
As long as I’m alive the last thing I’ll ever be afraid are women
I like confident and dominant women. They can take charge in the bedroom and lead the relationship. I would gladly be her submissive.
Not all men are... some of us actually like it
Nah. Most men don't like drama.
I don’t know about that “most” part
True. Confidence is one thing. It is appreciated, but the attitude is another thing. Just as @DizzyDesii said.
lmao. no one is afraid of confident women
Really? because when I scroll through Instagram I seen a group of women state what their occupation is and men were hating on them.
What, Onlyfans? lol.
Uh no they were doctors
I'd have to see this "hate"
Same reason why women are afraid of confident men
We’re not though
Then so aren't we
All women scare me.
I can't say. I like confident women.
Because usually that's a sign of prostitutes
Stfu
Yesss..
How old are u by the way?
I am not
😆😆😆
Only women say that.
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