I’m confident and I’m independent. Most guys like me but I don’t find this out until their close friends tell me and most of the time they feel intimidated to ask me out. But, what I don’t understand is why they feel the need to think I would sleep with them. Do men like when women take charge in the bed and not so much in a relationship?
If I opened up a restaurant and the only thing on my menu was a poop burger, and no one patronized my restaurant, I could blame potential customers and call them names and whatever else, but it would be obvious to nearly everyone that my problem was simply that I was offering a product that no one wanted.
Here's a hint: men have NO INTEREST in "strong, independent women." We don't hate them, we simply DO NOT CARE about them or for them. They're free to go and be strong and independent and no one is going to try to stop them, but at the same time, most men have no more interest in being in a relationship with such a woman than they do biting into a big ole' poop burger.
Most women today have NO IDEA what men want in a woman, and have NO INTEREST in even finding out. Men are so tired of trying to explain to women what they want, and being shamed and blamed and called names for having their own desires and standards, that they're simply choosing to walk away. Strong and independent women need to go be strong and independent, and understand that men don't want them, and they're going to be alone - that's the consequences of their choices. You cannot offer a man zero value (based on what MEN value) and still expect to men do all the work and make all the sacrifices to be in a relationship with such women. We simply aren't interested.
In case you ARE interested in learning what men want from women, you can read my post here:
Does Guys Only Like Girls For Sex Or Just For Their Bodies For Sex?
Your education, your career, your income, and your independence brings NO VALUE to a man - in fact, those things often bring NEGATIVE value to a man. We won't stop you from making those choices - we're just not going to be in a relationship with you. If you want a real, committed relationship, then you have to bring what WE value. Otherwise, we'll either find what we want elsewhere, or we'll be alone. And it's far easier for men to be alone than it is for women, especially as women age.
Women today are confusing. I’ll tell you why.
- why doesn’t he give me enough attention, she gets it, then she’s turned off and thinks desperate and needy
- I want a guy to love me, he shows love, she considers him a simp
- men are chauvinist pigs! Some guys out there don’t mind taking a back seat and letting a woman lead. Know what happens here, BE A MAN! YOU EXPECT ME TO DO IT ALL! Meanwhile she wants to be considered the boss
- she talks about how she can emotionally or physically hurt a man, there are guys who for some reason enjoy dehumanizing themselves so women treat them poorly. There are guys and men out there who have kinks such as kicking a guy in the balls by a female. She hears this and is disgusted and considers him a freak.
- women complain that the male patriarchy is old and outdated. Meanwhile women won’t do the dangerous jobs, women won’t do the dirty jobs, women claim they are willing to go to war but when the moment comes she backs out because she says it’s a man’s job to fight in wars.
- women are confusing, feminism destroyed their minds, why would I be scared of a successful woman? If you are good for you, but women tend to be horrible bosses because they don’t know how to lead and they are rude about it. Eventually in the future what will scare women is when men rise up and fight back it’s not going to be pretty, the day of reckoning will come.
- I’m tired of the court system down here favouring women majority of the time with evil, vindictive, manipulative women out there. I mean heck, there are women out there who claim to be goddesses and anyone who’s a religious person will know claiming you are god is a huge sin. I don’t know if this is true or not but I’ve read and heard that there will be more women in hell on the day of judgment. Women often say my body my choice, your body and soul go back to God, your body on earth is temporary. Everyone’s soul gets judged by God for their actions and deeds.
- if any female reads this and says, see this is the reason why men suck is because of guys like this and posts like this. I never once said women shouldn’t pursue a career, but when God blesses you don’t belittle men like they are trash. I don’t mind cooking, cleaning and doing other things to contribute. But you know what, so should women. Young women today think cooking in the kitchen is oppression, meanwhile mothers growing up would work, come home and cook. But nowadays girls seem to care more about taking selfies and posting their life online to show off to others. This isn’t some male hating post, this is just a reminder why guys just want casual relationships with females and nothing more. I have no respect for women who treat men like shit and lie about rape or whatever.
Because most men are socialized to think that they have to be "needed" aka their partners have to be dependent on them. When you're independent and/or confident, that means you are no longer financially or emotionally vulnerable and you don't depend on anyone. Now it's no longer about whether you need a man and now it's about whether you like and want him. That requires them to bring more to the table and that's not what a lot of men are prepared for.
This is why it's a bad idea to get swayed by a man calling you hot.
Insecure people in general hate confident women's guts
Opinion
52Opinion
People who aren't sure of themselves struggle to feel comfortable talking to people who are confident in themselves.
So your saying a lot of different things:
-your confident and independent
-you think guys like you but not for the reasons your proud of
- why so men think they can have sex with you?
Do men want a women to take charge in the bedroom?
Do men want to lead in the relationship?
ok where do I start, the overall vibe I'm getting is that your estimating your value on basis of being hard to get, non-submissive and aggressive in the bedroom?
I can answer all these separately however the sum of all the questions amounts to this,
Am I, the way I am currently, good enough for the men I want, in a open relationship?
The answer is no for the mass majority of alpha men you want, and the reason is there can not be two alphas in a relationship therefore it would have to be an open relationship to be successfully becauee you want to lead and he wants to lead so while sexuality you two can coexist, in a relationship you two would be incompatible.
I could be wrong
Most people are shy and reluctant to take risks. Being men doesn't give us an innate ability to ignore that. It is just as nerve-wrecking for us.
If it seems different it is because of a louder minority of the people actually approaching being seen more than those who do not.
Your confidence does not make approaching you significantly different. It may somewhat change who is attracted to you but you're not much scarier to approach.
I'd say nearly all men enjoy women taking some initiative. Only difference is the extent.
Men are not afraid of confident women. Nor are they intimidated by them. In fact it's just the opposite. Insecure women drive men nuts.
But here's the thing. "Strong and confident woman" is usually a euphemism for either a feminist, or someone out to prove themselves. Both of which are huge turn offs. Not liking something is far different than being afraid of it, or being intimidated by it.
For me, having confidence is a must. I do NOT want someone who is insecure, or some kind of simpering helpless woman who can't do anything for herself. But a truly confident woman would never feel the need to announce to the world that she is "strong, independent and confident". Her actions speak for themselves. As soon as she feels the need to announce it, it becomes a turnoff.
Don't confuse not liking something with being afraid or intimidated by it.
They "like" you, not "love" you. There is a big difference.
You are game and good company, not relationship material. Is what they are saying. To be fair, anyone that claims "independent" as a personality, as you are, is not a person who does well in any relationship.
Mainly as "independent" is the first thing you lose in any relationship, you need to give yourself over a bit, as does the other party. Also people who say they are "confident" without any reference, tend to be either insufferable, or incompetent.
I'm not afraid of confident women, your question is all over the place though, it contradicts itself and it makes no sense. You ask why men are afraid of confident women, then go on to state that you are confident, and that most men like you. So which is it?
Then it rambles on about who should initiate, presuming slutty behavior, and who would be taking charge in the bedroom, It screams "AI wrote your post". Either that, or you don't speak English well, and ran this through google translate...
"Independent"
Oh brother, not another blathering feminist.
You don't need a man? Great, men don't go where they aren't needed.
Go be "Independent" somewhere else.
Oh, by the way, I'm so scared.
Let me guess, I'm sure you were effing every dude in sight while going to school and becoming independent.
Yes, men so want to settle down with hoes.
Because the "strong independent wahmen" types are the female equivalent of the "nice guy" types.
If you really possess those qualities, you wouldn't be running around constantly saying that you are, people will piece it together just by how you carry yourself. If you feel the need to do that, it's a good sign that you aren't what you're trying to make others think you are.
Want to know a good way to show someone you are confident? Ask a guy you like out instead. You will either find out that you will be getting a lot more dates that way or you'll end up getting rejected every time. That's why it takes confidence, you do it without taking the outcome personally. Confidence is not about everybody liking you, it's being ok with not winning them all, even none of them.
I think if you are truly confident and independent, you can try ask a man out. I'm sure there are plenty of men out there that wouldn't mind their woman to take charge, but you are most likely not going to get them to ask you out first. Ask them out for a lunch or dinner or a movie depend on your mood, maybe they'll like it.
If you want to take charge of a relationship, take charge.
At your age most girls are mentally ahead of boys their same age when it comes to interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence. Girls understand boys much better than vice versa. So guys acting intimidated just have caught up in maturity yet.
We're not afraid of confident women, we're afraid of rude disrespectful women.
That's the thing you know! And you know you fucked up miserably when you confuse arrogance and confidence.
Some women are just not raised well to respect men for their morals/ethics or character but rather only respects their pocket how much money... So this is what being BITCH is about! And we're not intemidated by that, the opposite we just dislike that.
Maybe the men who are intimidated aren't confident in themselves yet.
But I don't understand. If a man is intimidated by a girl, feeling the need to think she'd sleep with them wouldn't even be a thing. Thinking that wouldn't imply that they're intimidated. It leans more towards arrogance even.
Oh boy, are you in for a rude awakening when you enter the real world
You likely think life will be enjoyable, happy, stress free and filled with fun. We'll, hell is waiting for you but not in the afterlife, hell is right here and you're rapidly approaching it.
There's no way out, so enjoy your eternal suffering here!
Not sure why? I always found confidence to be an attractive quality. I'm not overly fond of a girl that I have to pussyfoot around all the time. I like to cut to the chase about things and I find confident women are the same way.
Insecure men after afraid of confident women. Confident men prefer them.
No, men are not afraid of confident women. Some guys are shy, so they struggle to approach any woman. But typically women who blame it on being confident, strong or independent have other issues that are the real problem.
And no, most guys do not want a woman to take charge in the bedroom. A few do, but the majority want a sexually submissive woman.
I’m not afraid. At least not in a bad way. Confidence and independence is good. As long as it’s genuine.
Maybe you just haven’t found the right one yet
I dont think its “confident” per say but it seems to throw them off if we’re TOO forward/independent/dominant
Personally I find a confident woman incredibly sexy but I still for the most part enjoy them taking a somewhat confident submissive role in the bedroom
The main reason guys won’t ask a girl that they like out is fear of rejection. They’re just assuming you’ll say no.
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