Why do men ask what's wrong just to argue?

[Anonymous]

A lot of things have changed between me and my boyfriend but during our last big fight it's like he has finally gone back to the man I love and giving me what I feel I had been begging for. Yesterday we got into it because he admitted during a discussion he adds females that he finds sexy to social media so he can look at them later. This makes me very uncomfortable because I've been cheated on by others before. I thought he understood before how I feel about liking thirst traps but now knowing he still doesn't mind doing that or even adding them really bothers me. I'm visibly still upset and he saw I was crying so he asked and I told him no I'm fine because it's always a argument. Why ask if you won't care?

[spartan55]

How tf is he supposed to know what you are crying about? If he didn't say anything you would bitch about that too. Further evidence that women are NEVER happy.

[Asker]

That wasn't the question because how is someone suppose to feel ok to tell them if every single time it's an argument. My question is why ask if you aren't going to care and just argue.

[spartan55]

You are completely missing the point.

[Asker]

Please help me understand because I truly don't understand. People ask things like are you ok, what's wrong etc out of concern. If not concerned then what is it.. a formality? And if he is doing that adding is there something to be concerned about?

[spartan55]

Why do you say he isn't concerned?

[Asker]

Because every time I try to talk about what's bothering me he gaslights me, calls me names and starts a argument. I don't like arguments so I shut down.. it isn't accomplishing anything

[spartan55]

Maybe he is sick of you boo hooing all the time.