Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1 year now, and before that we were seeing eachother for about 8 months before being official. Only Since January we have started arguing about things. And recently it is 3/4 days in one week. To me the things we argue about are silly, because I don’t get annoyed easily over things but he does. When he show’s frustration over something I would find small I get frustrated with him I think thats because it wouldn’t personally annoy me. Then he calls me defensive for not understanding why what I’ve done is that annoying. I’m getting to a point now where it is draining me more and more every-time it happens. I’ve told him that it makes me feel like I’m not doing good enough when I a really trying to when he gets frustrated so easily. He is always very apologetic afterwards but the change in attitude is throwing me off, once he calms down he is back to his normal self and telling me how much he loves me, but when he says that after a fight I find it hard to believe him.
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That doesn't sound normal to me. Arguing 3-4 times a week over little things is way too much. A good relationship shouldn't make you feel drained all the time.
It's not cool how he calls you defensive either - that's just trying to turn it around on you instead of listening to your valid feelings. Getting frustrated so easily over small stuff you wouldn't care about is a red flag too.
When someone really loves you, they don't want to argue a lot or make you feel bad. They care more about your happiness. And you shouldn't have to walk on eggshells, worried he'll freak out any minute.
Personally I'd be reconsidering this relationship if it were me. Once the honeymoon phase ends and you start seeing how he really is, it doesn't look good. You deserve someone who treats you with care, respect and appreciation, not constant arguments.
Up to you what you wanna do bro, but if it was me I'd say this much fighting ain't healthy. There's other girls out there who would be a better match and not drain you like this. Just my two cents.
No, it's not. Either communicate and make the necessary changes or move on.
A lot of people argue but if it turns to be toxic and you both stop liking each other over it you better break up then.