Geustion for the women that ask where the good guys are, do you know you are creating the bad guys yourself by breaking and ignoring the good men?

[Anonymous]

[NathanDavis]

pathetic BS of the highest order...

a true good person won't change just because someone didn't want to go out with them

nor this should break you to your core

if you can't get your shit together hold yourself responsible and work on it

[LazerBean]

Good men really have trouble finding good women.

Bad men have trouble finding good women, because good women want nothing to do with them.

And bad women have trouble finding good men, because good men want nothing to do with them either.

[JBlade]

True and rational answer. The struggle is real...😔

[LazerBean]

Lol voice speech typo, I meant rarely instead of really.

[JBlade]

Still rational, I don't know if I'd say rarely though. There are many good men who struggle for reasons beyond their control.

[LazerBean]

I think there are definitely some men like you describe.

There are two groups of good men, in my opinion. There are good men who are marriage material, and good men who are not marriage material for various reasons. All the good men who are marriage material (communicate well, have their life going toward a specific goal, no glaring emotional or mental problems, practice basic hygiene) that I know (which is a very small percentage of all men) have found good women and have gotten married before 25.

I know A few men who I consider to be very good men and friends, who have POTENTIAL to be marriage material. But they usually have something holding them back. The biggest thing I notice is social skills, honestly. And not specifically bad social skills towards women, just generally they're kind of bad at communicating, unintentionally obnoxious in large groups, etc... And like I said, I think a lot of these men. Some of them are guys my husband grew up with and who are nearly family. We hang out with them often and we really enjoy it, but man they just aren't grown up enough to be married, honestly. And it's not just my opinion, my husband and I have for a long time discussed ways to try to help them out. If they could just break through a few bad habits that make them come off as really childish, they would be great husbands.

But that's just my take from what I've seen.

[Asker]

@LazerBean how about the type of guy that doesn't have good social skills because he always got told to shut up and after a few years he finally did. That doesn't have any friends cause everyone left him alone and only invited him on a night out when everyone else said no. That doesn't know how to start a conversation cause everytime he did his words got twisted. The guy that whenever a woman finally talks to him he gets used for the effort he gives instead of getting told No when he starts trying and then chooses to accept the friendzone cause he has no one else and has to listen to her complain that man that she does date isn't treating her well. Until he snaps at her verbally and then he is called the problem.

The guy that doesn't have a goal anymore cause he been pushed to suicidal toughts multiple times and even attempted it once and now doesn't know who he is anymore with no ones shoulder to lean on.
Guys that have no one cause they have problems making New friends cause they got bullied their entire life at school and sportclubs.

Are we good guys, ?

Not that it matters anymore I am done trying anyways but i still wanna know
I been fighting to stay on the good side but no-one seems to care about a man that has trouble in live and from your big comment i take you only consider a man a good guy if he has status you can't create status if you don't have anywhere or anyone to go too.

So are we good guys? Or should we Just say fuck it and never even speak to People again?

[LazerBean]

Being always told to shut up is not normal. So that begs the question, were you being told to shut up because of your preexisting problems, or were you being told shut up because you keep poor company?

[Asker]

How the fuck should iknow i was 6 when i stopped talking

[LazerBean]

6? You're a grown ass man pushing 30 now. How many times have you been to speech therapy? How many communication classes have you took? Have you done literally anything to actually learn how to have basic social skills?

[Asker]

I have had therapy for a year. They told me i have an irrational fear disorder. That can't be fixed. I have basic social skills but outside of work i don't talk to anybody cause if im out of my comfort zone i shutdown completely. I tried multiple times tho by joining clubs and going out. But People don't even greet me back if i say something no matter how polite i do it

[LazerBean]

Ig if there's really nothing you can do about it, then you're fucked 💁🏽‍♀️