What does it mean when a guy ask you how you are?

[Anonymous]

I know it’s a generic question but how can you tell if it’s genuine interest or just a question. If a guy says it a bit flirty.. or does it mean nothing

he has showed some other signs. He did stand next to me and looked at me when he asked

[Flunkerdunk]

You remember those multiple choice questions in school that would have like answer "D" be: "Not enough information has been given to answer the question".

Well, out of:

A. He is trying to flirt with you.

B. He is just curious with how you are doing.

C. He really wants company and wish you would ask how he is doing.

D. Not enough information has been given to answer the question

I'm going to personally choose "D", lol.

[Asker]

I said he stood right next to me when he asked and looked right at my face. I got nervous and stepped away and said good really low

[Flunkerdunk]

Well, whatever chemistry might have been has been almost desolved then. If a girl did that to me, I'd feel like she thinks I'm a creep and she wants nothing to do with me.

The only way that could be absolved (if you want to pursue with this guy) is to tell him that you just got nervous and didn't know how to handle the situation, but you do like him.

If you want to remain friends then tell him you got nervous but didn't want to seem rude and you weren't trying to make him feel like a creep or anything. (This one still might not work, because he might have the looming dread of rejection hitting him mentally, every time he sees you.)

[Asker]

He started talking to someone tho so now he kind avoids me… so was he just being a bit “flirty for fun”

[Asker]

I don’t understand why he kind of avoids me if nothing happened

[Flunkerdunk]

Something *did* happen though:

"I got nervous and stepped away and said good really low"

The stepped away and said good really low part is what happened and that goes back to my point of the "looming dread of rejection" bring brought up in his memory, every time he sees you. He also found somebody else, so he has multiple reasons to avoid you now. I don't have enough information to tell you that he was just being flirty fun, but if he already is talking to somebody else... heh..

It would be like if you walked up to this 6'5 tall guy with a perfect smile, nice smell, and dressed in a suit as he stepped out of his nice car and you said with a smile: "Hi! How are you doing?" and he looked down at you and said: "Uh... fine?" as he quickly backed up and walked away from you fast.

You could have said: "ew" instead of "good" and it would have had the same effect, if you backed away from him lol.

[Asker]

We are coworkers so we can’t date

[Asker]

I doubt it was just that bc he was stil a bit flirty after but not uncomfortable

[Flunkerdunk]

That narrows it sort of... but he might still feel bad deep down inside.

The point is that he avoids you now and feels he may have overstepped when you backed away like that. He may not want to get "meetoo'd" or maybe he just figures you are off the table so he lost interest in interacting with you.

[Asker]

No lol he started talking to someone else who is better and he avoids me

[Flunkerdunk]

Someone who is "better"? Hmm.

Do you actually want him to flirt with you? Because I hope this isn't a self esteem thing.

[Asker]

No tbh it makes me uncomfortable bc I think he can do better or he’ll find out how dumb and stupid I am

[Flunkerdunk]

So, it really is a self esteem issue...

Well, this is less about him and more of a personal issue that is creating false problems/barriers for you in your head. I wouldn't worry about the stupidity though. I've met very attractive women in the past that couldn't even tell me what July 4th celebrates (One told me it was national hotdog and hamburgers cookout day, the other said it was dead soldiers day).

Your physical attributes are on point, because he did at least approach you once.. but it wasn't until you backed away and gave off defensive vibes/not interested vibes in that he started avoiding you. So, this still has a chance but I'm going to suggest something that may sounds crazy to some, but...

Try approaching him and explaining to him that you are just really socially awkward and you didn't mean to give off wierdo vibes when he asked you how you were doing. I say that you claim you personally felt like the wierdo, because he will be able to relate to that and feel relieved at the same time. If you tell him you were afraid of saying something dumb because you accidently do/say dumb things all the time, he will understand too ( most guys, including myself, have a long history of doing stupid stuff so we get it).

That self esteem issue is going to try and make you think you aren't good enough, when he literally approached you in the past first. If you start mentally beating yourself up and making random excuses, you've already lost, so don't. That is gender neutral advice to anybody.

[Asker]

He’s dating someone else lol and we can’t date

It’s not a self esteem issue lol it’s reality. And I did something stupid.. but I was nervous

[Flunkerdunk]

I should have just stuck with my original answer which was: "not enough information has been given to answer the question", because I keep getting drip fed information lmfao.

Okay, so now I know he is dating but that wouldn't have mattered anyway (since earlier you said you weren't allowed to date him as a coworker regardless). This changes very little since we are here to answer the past tense... but I'm going to go with that this guy was testing the waters with you and seeing if you were okay to flirt with (fun or romantic).

You can learn from the past but you can't change the past. You can't learn from the future but you can change the future. I guess you sort of learned from the past, so now you know what not do in the future (unless you really don't want the future guy bothering you... lol).

[Asker]

It was probably just for fun. My other friend says he has flirt energy

So maybe it was for fun… why else would he avoid me when he’s in a relationship.

[Flunkerdunk]

So then that means everybody else saying it was a generic question is most likely right... but flirt energy usually has a meaning towards it. If you see him interacting with the older women with flirt energy, then it is nothing.

[Asker]

I don’t see him interacting with other women so I wouldn’t know. I’m sure I’m not the only one

Or if anything maybe he just wants to sleep with me.

But sometimes how he interacts with me feels gentle and subtle. But guys who are “flirts” know how to do it best I guess

[Asker]

The first thing I notice is that he looks at me a lot. Not in a creepy way but always shooting glances no matter where I am in the room. Or if I just enter his face lights up

Or he said “I finally get to come over to you, how are you?

He did demonstrate something and he used my finger then he subtly placed his hand on mine while doing so. It wasn’t sexual in any way..

[Asker]

You there?

[Iron_Man]

You can’t really tell by that Anyone can say that

[Asker]

I know that.

[Iron_Man]

Invite him to lunch then you’ll know

[Asker]

If he liked me he would

[Iron_Man]

Some guys are so shy they won’t even bother trying maybe he has a fear of rejection

[Anonymous]

Hmm "how are you"... nope, no f***ing clue what that means.🤣🤣🤣

[Anonymous]

If i said it im trying to get to know you more, sometimes i have interest in person

[TrillXHippy]

Yeah it is just a question. Very generic

[Asker]

There’s no way to tell if it’s something more

[TrillXHippy]

Don’t mean to be rude with that comment but sadly there isn’t anyway to tell if it’s something more

[Asker]

Ok it’s fine

[In_Trance]

it's a generic question. that's it