Should I be mad at my new boyfriend for this?

[Anonymous]

So 2 years ago I had my first boyfriend and it was a complicated relationship. I have ocd and sometimes I would find random pictures of me on my phone and his phone either asleep or doing something. He is a photographer but still I don't know. I didn’t pay much mind to it but I grew uneasy to people having/taking pictures of me without my knowledge, specially with my severe ocd. Fast forward 2 years and I am dating this amazing guy. He’s respectful, and does everything possible to make me feel comfortable and reassures me when I have anxiety or ocd thoughts. I have had thoughts of “what if he’s taken pictures of me without me knowing?” And knowing its my mental health condition, he shows me his phone and proves tome that he has no random pics of me. Same with screenshots of conversations he’s been honest and told me he has screenshotted convos of us when he need’s a friend’s opinion on how to handle a certain situation with me and he went through his phone to check that he had deleted them all. I do admit I am an extremely hard person to date and I was afraid to get back to dating for this very reason. He really loves me and ai love him too. I discovered as he showed me more of his pictures, that he has about 3 screenshots of selfies of us. I do remember telling him that he could keep selfies because obviously I took them and its a consensual photograph. However, I think I told this way after he had these screenshots when he still knew I didn’t like finding random pics of me. He says he remembers he showed me these and when I saw them I approved of them, but I don’t remember if that was after. I think he screenshoted these selfies of us way before I gave him clear permission to have any photo of me. (I know to some of you this may seem ridiculous and exaggerated but my ocd is bad and yes I am getting help for it) If he did have these, hypothetically speaking before I gave him actual verbal permission to have them, should I be upset about that?

Updates

1 y

Maybe he thought “oh since its both of us she won’t mind” and it was an honest mistake but yes I remember saying whatever u can keep selfies AFTER he already had them. Which means regardless that he knew, he had the 3 selfies. Kinda summarized but he’s a great guy and I swear if I told him to delete them rn I know he would.

[Anonymous]

Did you get professional help before diving back into the dating pool? There’s a big difference between being difficult vs being unfair. I get that you have OCD and struggle with past issues but don’t you think you should’ve resolved that to the best of your ability before a new relationship? I can’t imagine how exhausting it is having to constantly reassure and prove himself to you that he is trustworthy. Having you check his phone and ok every picture. You’re making him pay for what your ex did to you.

[Asker]

I do think about that and I am starting therapy next week. I want to treat him right as he deserves.

[Opinion Owner]

That’s a step in the right direction. But in the meantime until therapy really starts working, you should try easing up with the OCD. He’s already proven he’s trustworthy, don’t let your past ruin your relationship.

[Avicenna]

I think you need to fully explain your boundaries to him as far as photos go

[Guy13]

Good luck in working this relationship into what you hope for !!

[Iron_Man]

Discuss it with him