"Boys Cry, Men Don't" is it a good writing tip for writing male POV?

[anon1903]

some Suzanne on Pinterest went like "if your character is a teenage boy, then he'll cry, but if he's an adult male, he won't" and I'm just questioning her cuz if a male character can't cry in his own damn POV, when else will be? she didn't even mention that men don't cry loudly, or men bottle up emotions and cry when they're 102% alone, or they cry only in front of their male friends or around people they trust... she didn't clarify that... Do you think she was a man hater? She also said the main guy needs to be alpha 👀

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1 y

Alpha sounds like "brutal training for men" haha

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1 y

I can never write a character that stereotypes either of the genders. It's just wrong!

[NathanDavis]

it is way more simple...

Suzanne has never had a true man or much of a real life

she might be still very young for any of that

if you want to see adult men cry, you just have to go out and experience real life, it can be as simple as going to a highly competitive environment, like professional sports, you will see people crying out of joy and satisfaction if the won a final or a championship, or they will be heart broken if the lost or were second runners

just go to any big company or business, and when someone achieves a milestone they've worked all their careers for and finally got it, you will see a grown up man cry

go to the hospitals... and you will see adult men cry when they have their newborns on their arms, or when they are losing the lives of their beloved

go to many other places in which grown men are seeing their children and grandchildren accomplish something great that will reassure these men of being great parents and that they have raised them well

go to every conflict zone in this world, and you will see many men, grown up men, hardened men... cry over the loss of their brothers in arms and the stupid injustice of this world

now, if the only thing you do is to be online and write stupid naive fantasy then yeah alright " FANTASY MEN DO NOT CRY" lmao... but that's not the real world at all

[Msputiton]

This is a real man who is actually masculine.
He knows men have emotions. He knows a real man doesn't pretend to be masculine. But if the moment comes he will beat anyone's butt that threatens the people who are important to him

[NathanDavis]

@Msputiton like a true Leo at heart...

[DJB72]

In what society?

In some cultures it's unmanly to be afraid of tears. Western society derides men who dance, but Celts didn't let a man who couldn't dance go to war.

A woman's place is in the kitchen - so explain why a majority of chefs are men?

Stereotypes are dangerous. Especially when written down.

The strongest Man I ever knew was my dad who stood with tears streaming down his face washing my brother's blood out of his coat after he was involved in a road accident. My brother died an hour later.

Men cry.

[Msputiton]

Crying means you are exposing your vulnerable side

So i think a real man will allow himself to cry because he isn't insecure.

I said it on here before the toxic masculinity is when men have been taught you have to act a certain way to be a man. So they begin to do unhealthy things to prove they are a man.

Natural masculinity is what makes a man masculine just naturally being theirselves.

So i think when creating your character think about that.

Do you want to use the toxic masculinity version of a man?

Or do you want your male character to be a true masculine character

[Talldutchie]

I would say, it is simple:

Whether you are angry, sad, frustrated, happy... all those feelings are there to be seen and understood! Why can you show you are happy, but can't that you are sad? I do not see it as a weakness, it means you are REAL and strong! So I would say, EVERYONE cries, laughs, shits, takes breaths, eats and sleeps!

[SnowedIn]

This is a such great question. Do I think she's man hater? No clue; but, if she believes what she's written then I think she has a misguided view of men and emotions. But, what I think is interesting is your question: "... is it a good writing tip for writing male POV". That's where I wonder. I know nothing about the publishing industry, but I wonder if that might, in fact, be a good writing tip. Like, does a male character who bottles it up and doesn't cry make stories that are consumed more? I don't know the answer to that but it makes me wonder.

All that said, doesn't reflect reality. Men do have emotions but process them and display them way differently.

[Smoothing]

I refrain from answering such questions. However I will answer this one. That woman on Pinterest doesn't know didly squat about men. She is going by all the lies that some trashcan have been feeding her.

Men do have emotions and men do cry but not in the way that is normally expected. When a man seems like he is ranting especially if it is not in his character to do so, he is actually crying. Men cry by offloading without shading tears.

If a man can't off loaf, he will let out steam in the boxing ring, or the gym or do se mad physical activity that makes him feel better.

Lastly, all men shed tears when they are having a shower or in private. Of course the older one gets, the more emotional strong one becomes but yes, men do cry.

I don't pay to all the alpha bullshit talk anymore. It is for people who can't see things past their ego.

[ArtemisSilver]

No. It's often the other way around. Say a war is on. A young single man has little to lose, and glory to gain.

Now imagine a father who just got word on the front line that his wife and children died in his absence and he weeps.

Who is the man and who is the boy?

[ChiTown33]

I don't think she's a man hater. She was the "IT" girl at one time. I think she's simply got a warped view of men because her position has always allowed her to demand more from men. Because if a man doesn't want to give it she simply says "next" and another man is waiting to take his place. Such women are overprivliged and never form a true bond with a man because everything is under her control.

[HippieVeganJewslim]

Men do cry. It can be a sign of compassion. If my Flower Girl or Noura passed away, how can I not cry? When my grandfather died, I did cry at 16. Not all men have the same personality. Sometimes in His tears, Matisyahu drowns, but He never lets it get Him down. However, I don’t recall any psychopaths cry. Maybe Suzanne is talking about psychopathic adult males?

[MrOracle]

What really happens is that men don't cry for routine things and they rarely ever cry in front of of their romantic partner. It doesn't mean that they never cry - just that it takes an extraordinary event, which is relatively rare.

[ChillaxingLove]

This is why people think men are not human and walk all over us like we are emotionless bricks. Dad don’t like anything just get him a a neck tie like last time. Father’s Day oh was that a week ago oops we forgot. Cmon Of course men cry we are human beings. However we know how to mask our feelings especially when we need to be the strong one.

[melanieeeB]

It's so far away from reality! Crying is normal, crying is human and showing vulnerability is damn strong.

[melanieeeB]

Being a petty bitch and sitting down and complaining about life but not changing anything and just going around hatefully blaming everyone else... that's "alpha-male" shit

[TallAnon]

A man cries, but it's good to show his reluctance, that makes him relatable.

[anon1903]

This

[RealMarek]

In my experience, older adult men are more apt to cry than teenage boys and young men.

[exitseven]

I tell everyone that I never cry but I really do sometimes.

[shortster]

Men don't cry for something that isn't worthwhile. Also we do typically try to hide it from others when we do cry.

[pizzalovershouse]

Guys cry for painful reasons likening you get a peace of skins torn

[dustybiker]

Sounds like she was raised in a warped household. That sells books too though.

[Noahzaid]

I don’t know If I would be comfortable crying but If I ever did, I wouldn’t want it to be in front of anyone.

[Jamie05rhs]

A lot of women are like that. That is what they truly believe. This isn't new.

[Jamie05rhs]

I myself do not cry even in private. But I would never judge another guy if he did.

[anon1903]

Why the stereotype? She literally described her husband! She actually said that some of these are "secrets" her husband told her 😭😭

[Jamie05rhs]

@anon1903 I'm sure that's a lovely relationship... 🙄

[Blackcupcake]

that is plain stupid.

[Andres77]

she's ignant... simple

[Summeroflove]

Everyone cries.

[abc3643]

That's horseshit.