I hate that documentary. It's complete bullshit. All part of the agenda to emasculate men.
The reason it pisses me off is because the reason men struggle so much today isn't because they're not allowed to show their feelings, it's because they're not taught to man up. In some cases actually that they shouldn't.
Everybody says the exact same things you're saying here, especially younger women. I understand that it's well-meaning so I'm not attacking you, but it's backwards.
When everybody else is saying the same thing that you are, that's the popular message. When saying something makes you seem like an asshole to most people, as what I'm about to say will, that's the unpopular message. You're not fighting pop-culture, you're parroting the things pop-culture tells you to.
You mentioned bullying in response to another person. I'll give you an example of precisely why I see all of this as bad, because this applies to any kind of struggle in life.
I have a half brother. Same Mum, different Dads. My Dad always taught me to defend myself. I'm only short like him, so it was inevitable that I was going to be a target of bullying in school. He knew it. He told me to never be intimidated by anybody, to always stand up for myself even physically if need be. That the one thing bullies hate/fear is somebody who fights back. That I shouldn't come back crying to him about being bullied. Back in his day, if he came home crying about being bullied, my grandparents would give him a slap too so he had to defend himself.
My younger brother was taught no such thing. He was taught to tell the teacher if anything happened. "Two wrongs don't make a right" and all that bollocks.
As a result, my parents never had to worry about me being bullied. Any little prick who tried would get a bloody nose and he wouldn't try it again. Meanwhile my brother would come home crying, afraid to go to school sometimes, with my parents having to go in to try to sort it out - which never happened. Not until I taught him to stand up for after himself myself.
These arguments are always about encouraging men to be weak and cowardly and to be okay with that, and they're always arguments against strength, self-reliance, courage.
Men aren't emotionless robots of course, we all have times of weakness, even the strongest of men, and in those times we should get support. In fact from what I've seen we do already, when guys are upset about something serious I've never seen or heard anybody say "stop showing your feelings sissy" - that doesn't even happen.
But that's not what this is about. It's people arguing that we shouldn't encourage men to be strong in the first place, that's something many people who speak about "toxic masculinity" say is a terrible thing to teach men. Fucking ridiculous if you ask me.
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The real toxicity is from the “Social justice warrior” crowd that constantly shames masculinity by assuming traditional masculinity is “harmful”. Ironic that a movement who constantly preaches equal respect for all, tries to force men to act less masculine. It’s disgusting how this crowd likes to spout shenanigans of wanting to “help” men but in reality they want to subjugate men to the point men become second class citizens. I truly believe in equal respect for all people which is why I criticize this crowd for being hypocritical.
But I digress, there’s nothing unmanly of crying since everyone cries, it’s a natural human response to extreme emotions like euphoria or distress. The real problem when it comes to men crying is how regardless if he cries or not, he’ll get criticized.
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What annoys me more is the people who keep saying its ok to have emotions, its ok to cry, it doesn't make you less of a man, it's healthy, don't bottle things up all the time etc. I don't disagree with them. It is ok to cry, it is ok to have emotions. But guess what? I want to bottle things in, I don't want to talk about, feel, express my emotions with anyone other than myself, I want to be left alone and deal with things in my head on my own thank you very much. And there is nothing wrong with that. That being said, I know myself very well and I can process my emotions in healthy rational ways all on my own, I know many people are not capable of doing so, but I am not sure either option is going to ultimately be good for such people anyway.
This man- up term was originally a term created from evil women who wanted men of all ages to fall in the name of darkness in front of GOD. It was to parallel with masculinity as a paradigmatic existence that exalts the evil against the righteous. It was meant to exclude and separate a man and his sin from CHRIST and GOD to abolish any hope or faith. It's also a retaliation and protest from evil women towards GOD himself and those created in his image. Men and women are not any different emotionally from one another. Men are anointed by God to receive wisdom of solutions with spiritual guidance towards him and away from the darkness of sin and to be a warrior in spiritual warfare , hope and faith to otherwise lead the female. The only true time a man is a real true man is when he stands tall , strong faithfull as a warrior for and with GOD.
Probably 3 times in my life by my dad i rarely open up to anyone due to having 0 friends in school now that im in high school i would say i have like 5 friends but we rarely talk only in school maybe i text 2 of them but thats like 3x a week so its hard for me to talk to anyone in general last time i cried i belive was when Carrie Fisher died so like 4 years ago im very emotional but its hard to get it out when you have only your sister that listens to you even harder when you see her one week then she's off to hang out with her boyfriend for 2 months
The hilarity of that documentary is that they go on about toxic masculinity only allowing men to be angry and all this type of shit, but when you actually ask the guys they flat out tell you that the opposite is true. But then the documentary acts like it's proof of toxic masculinity. It's a retarded documentary.
I've never been told to man up. I think it would have been much better if I had a guy tell me that.
The only people ever to make me see a need to hide my emotions are women. Whether it's fair or not doesn't matter because it's just what they want. You're not going to be able to make women completely change what they're attracted to and start liking vulnerability in men.
Vulnerability and emotionality as a guy in the presence of women is highly conditional and volatile. Better to bury your feelings and focus on all the other things that get you points. Mete out small feelings slowly over time so she doesn't flip out.One more if all this stupid things boys are thought over decades. Why not crying if it's necessary and just a good relief. I'm putting it to an extreme: boys who never cry won't be able to experience real love as well. Sad thing and totally wrong to keeping them from showing emotions
The Mask we live in is a great documentary. Boys and men are constantly told to "man up" even if those exact words aren't used. Women are key villians in sending the signal to "man up" whether they know it or not.
They used to tell me when I was a little kid don't cry men don't cry, I believed it since I was a child at that time, now I don't believe in this theory, also there is many wrong theories about "how to be a real man and stuff". And I agree with you that's a toxic definition of masculinity
There is a time and place for being emotional and having to man up.
I haven't seen that doc. Did it say why men were told to "man up" and "don't cry "?That's a bad view that people sadly hold.
Crying is good. It brings out your emotions
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