Why can’t I keep a man satisfied?

[sweetpeababygirl27]

I have dated since my teen years. I have been a wife, a girlfriend, and I’ve even tried being a side chick. However, regardless the of position…I can not seem to keep a man satisfied at all. Things start off amazing, and then I always get left for someone prettier or seemingly better. Sometimes they come back months or years later proclaiming how they really liked/loved me after stomping on my heartstrings. My experiences has even conditioned me to not call or text a man too much, and give him lots of space while we are together. I even give lots of sex and spice things up in the bedroom (because I thought maybe that is where I lack). None of my last exs can say I begged for money, didn't give sex, called too much, or anything of that I did what all the advice articles say men want. Well guess what I still failed at it. Literally, none of my attempts have worked, and I still end up boring them eventually and getting left. I have cried about this because I am realizing I just may not be girlfriend or wife material. I guess I’ll never get the love I am craving. What am I doing wrong? I am starting to think I am not pretty enough, or my sex not good enough. What are other women doing that I am not doing? I mean am I missing something here? I will say that at this point in my life I do not waste anyone’s time anymore. When I do date I pretty much just go away when I can tell my time is expired, and dont let things go too far. I am ok with casually dating and ditching out now. I still wonder what I did wrong all of the time though. I dont do drugs, I have a clean record, college education, I work, I keep myself up. I am a sweet person, I am not perfect but why do men keep treating me like I’m some worthless crackhead bum on the street. I just want to know what I am doing wrong? I dated bad boys, nerds, church guys, etc. still all the same outcome.

[FictionalCharacter]

I’m in the same situation myself. I’ve posted questions and looked up articles “How to satisfy and keep a man”. I even set up boundaries as to not be disrespected. Whenever I was not disrespectful myself towards others. But in the end, I was still disrespected, judged, criticized and even body shamed. I literally put men first before myself as the articles and men on GaG have stated. I followed every criticism and opinion that I should diet and exercise, which I have. I used to weigh 165 lbs, now I weigh 130 lbs. I have exercised which caused my breast to shrink and my face have loose jowls and visible cheekbones. And I’m still not good enough to men eyes. Every pattern has been the same with the guys I meet. After a hurtful breakup, I know for a fact my exes are chasing the next girl and flirting with her. Meanwhile, I have to evaluate the situation, look into the past relationship as to what went wrong, cry for days, feeling worthless. Then I go back to focusing on my life and studies. Still wounded and numb from my heartache. That I feel alone in this world, while trying to build a better future for myself. Then when my life starts going good, another guy comes along. And I try not to rush into the relationship or repeat the same mistakes. To the point I have trust issues and I let guys know right away. That I’m healing from a heartache/breakup. But they always tell me the same thing “I’m not like the other guys. I would never hurt you I promise.” Then I give them a chance and right away they ask for nudes and when I reject them. They say “we are a couple. I’m your boyfriend and you are my girlfriend. This is normal and you shouldn’t be upset. How can we build a relationship if you keep denying me?”
sigh…it’s exhausting

[sweetpeababygirl27]

I promise I understand I can relate 100 percent. Im slowly getting over changing for a man. I've also lost weight to be more desirable, changed my hair a millions times, and just all kinds of things to keep men but all my attempts fail. We should be ourselves and stand on it whoever will love us will just have to love us for us or get lost. It’s exhausting but we got this read some of these comments they helped me to see some thing I can change.

[belle_kai]

Take a step back and acknowledge what you want in a guy and its important that YOU like him. What are your standards, boundaries and expectations? I'd start there. But also don't give too much too soon or too much when there is little coming back to you. You will find the right guy, I think you just need to gain a little confidence. You got this!

[AydenHazor]

It sounds like you're concerned about what you're putting into and getting out of a relationship, but when was the last time you just existed in a relationship and can't to know and love someone for who they are and let them come to know and love you for who you are? A relationship should not be transactional, and if you think you're only worth what you can give the other person, they'll likely treat you as an object to be used and let you go because you haven't formed a real connection. You are worth more than just what you can give or provide, you are valuable as a person and not just as a body to keep a man satisfied.

[Pegases]

Why don't you ask those men. Take what the say sparingly, but I do think the opinions of the people we've dated can shed some light on behaiviors that we ourselves may not be aware of. Further, therapy is an important tool for working towards self awareness. Ultimately, self awareness is what you need, because that will both boost your confidence and love for yourself, and give you the power to change behaivior that may be counterintuitive to your overall well being.

[sweetpeababygirl27]

I don’t have contact with them. However, a couple did apologize to me and said I was good and that they realized it too late. Thank you for your advice as well.

[Avicenna]

They see you as a doormat

[sweetpeababygirl27]

Can you explain why? I want your honesty do I give you doormate vibes? How can I change or not come off as that from a mans perspective?

[TheSpaceGnome]

Your last sentence about dating "bad boys, nerds, and church guys"...

Which one are you? Because this says to me that you are not considering their personality, views, interests, hobbies, life goals, or character matching yours when dating.

When you don't consider that sort of matching, no relationship will last.

[sweetpeababygirl27]

Thank you for your honesty and I am a nerdy/regular. I am learning from you all that I need to consider who people really are first.

[TheSpaceGnome]

lol I wish nerdy was regular, nerds are rare unfortunately.

[Vick2828]

To be honest, there is nothing wrong with you. You just need to text more and show that you are interested. Make a guy chase you, and you chase him at the same time. Also, on a first date, lay down what you are looking for in a guy. Don't just give him sex easily. Let him earn it. But for the most part, you are not the problem.

[sweetpeababygirl27]

Thank you for the advice. I really just need male advice about what to do right. You have shedded some light on some things I wasn’t doing and thats making them work for it.

[Vick2828]

Exactly. Relationships are 50/50. A real man will give his all to you if he likes you

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Your number 1 problem is that you are needy or see men in your life as a need rather than a want.

If you see people as a need then that puts you by default in a disadvantage position because it creates a desperate co-defendacy and often times people don't give, what others give, but rather take.

Number 2, you need to pick better men to date and be with.

You just can't go around throwing your cooch at men and think that's enough to keep a man.

[sweetpeababygirl27]

Thank you for your honesty. You are right I actually do see having a man as a need but I didn’t think or realize how much that was a disadvantage. I honestly do not know how to pick better men should I change my definition of what a good man is?

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Heathens suck. You have to be a Godly woman to get a good Godly man who loves and fears God.

[sweetpeababygirl27]

Thank you you’re right I should let God lead my love life as well.

[Anonymous]

There's no way to know the answer here without having more details. You sound like a great catch by your own description. Are you a good cook and a nurturing person? These are things that men see as valuable in a woman. Great sex is also important, and I'm talking about quality as much as quantity.

What are your political views? That's important.

Have you had things in common with your exs? Similar interests?

What are your goals in life? Do you want to start a family and have children? Are you willing to take your husband's last name?

I have lots of questions that would need to be answered before I could give you a good answer to your own question.

I'm sorry you've experienced this and wish you luck finding a god man to be a life partner.

[sweetpeababygirl27]

I would say my nurturing and personality are my best traits. I was taught how to good I can put together I few decent meals. I even know how to cook some tasty vegan meals as well. I hope my sex is quailty I am not sure though. I don’t know a lot about politics well not the very deep stuff. I haven’t met anyone with the same interest as me we are always very different. I want a family and a husband one day and to take his last name. You can ask whatever you like to Im open to answering. Thank you I hope so too.

[Opinion Owner]

Well I don't know what to tell you. You sound great. I think you have just been the victim of more than your share of bad luck. Keep trying and don't give up. My sister, who is 33 now, had a similar string of bad luck and was feeling pretty discouraged before she met her now-husband two years ago. They got married late last year and he's really a great guy.

[sweetpeababygirl27]

Thank you so much for giving me hope. I guess I felt like I was the only one going through this. Im happy for your sister.

[genericname85]

maybe stop for looking for a fault in yourself. maybe the fault is in these men. maybe your only fault is that you're not good at finding a good one.

[sweetpeababygirl27]

I admit I’ve picked the wrong people I have to change that. I wanted men to give me advice so i can do better Im tired of listening to other women they don’t seem to know anything about dating either. Thank you for being honest with me.

[genericname85]

It's really hard to find a good partner in general. Trial and error is pretty much the only way. Just make sure to try to learn as much as possible from the errors

[sweetpeababygirl27]

I will learn from my errors for now on and yes finding a good partner is a trail and error thing and maybe I should look at it that way as well

[genericname85]

Yup and if you already know you're doing well in a relationship, you know that you're a high value partner who doesn't need to accept a man who gives you that sort of bullshit that you described.

[Guardian45]

I don't know you, but I see two problems. First, you don't love yourself enough. Second, you continue to pick the wrong kind of man, Losers.
I think a therapist could help you resolve both of these issues.

[sweetpeababygirl27]

Thank you so much and I am going to consider counseling for this and you dont think I love myself enough? How could you tell?

[Guardian45]

The way you talk about pleasing a man. They should already appreciate you for who you are as is. It's not about you serving men. Ofc, both equal partners should try to accommodate and please each other.

[Guardian45]

Another thing, stay away from manipulators!

[sweetpeababygirl27]

I will work on self love maybe I am seeing things sort of wrong. I will stay away from munipulators as well.

[Guardian45]

I'm glad to hear it. If you have Qs, ask me anytime. Good Luck!

[sweetpeababygirl27]

Ok I will.

[JordanianNumetal]

Need to find a different kind of guy. lower your expectations. the definition of insanity is someone who keeps doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome.

Maybe try to hone your skills or start hitting the gym?

[sweetpeababygirl27]

Can you elaborate on how to find someone different and how to lower my expectations? I want to really understand.

[PointTaken]

Still the same wrong men. Who says it's you? You sound like a really wonderful woman. Just the guys you dated were not the right ones apparently. There might not have been that "connection" from his side. Totally hard to say without knowing you.

[sweetpeababygirl27]

Thank you dor being honest with me. I just assumed its me because I couldn’t keep them interested. I have to stop putting my all into the wrong men.

[PointTaken]

I have had 4 failed relationships. I think the same right away and have to stop myself. It's not me, it's just they didn't work.

[PointTaken]

You sound like such a wonderful woman. The right guy is around. You might not have ran into him yet.

[sweetpeababygirl27]

Thank you and you sound wonderful as well we will found our people one day.

[PointTaken]

I think so too. I know you will

[Shamalien]

You’re probably chasing men that are our of your league. Men will fuck a lot lower than they will date seriously

[sweetpeababygirl27]

Can you explain because these men were regular. I honestly want to understand better. I am open to learn.

[Shamalien]

Show me a pic of what you consider “regular”

[MrCommodore]

Tough journey!! You sound like girlfriend material from what you describe, but I can fully understand your frustration at this point.

Is there something you left out above?

Why do they break up?

[NostalgiaSenpi]

You can, you just haven't had one with integrity.

[sweetpeababygirl27]

Is that a quality I need to look for in the beginning? How do I know if a man has integrity?

[Freyke]

It's normal. Love is not at all easy. I never thought "that was easy" when she said yes to my confession. I felt like I struck gold.

[Anonymous]

You probably punching above your weight. This is usually the case when women have this problem.

[sweetpeababygirl27]

I've been both skinny and overweight and still same outcome. i’ve actually lost weight to see of that was it nope plus i know a few big girls who men love their dirty draws

[Opinion Owner]

Lol I don't mean actual weight. I mean like your chasing after guys that are out of your league. Or at least they feel that way. And they will never be loyal. This is a pretty common tale. Most girls has the get f***ed and dumped a few times before they learn this. Good luck yo you.

[sweetpeababygirl27]

oh im sorryfor assuming you meant actual weight. ok i never heard of this truth before i thank you for being super honest with me

[Opinion Owner]

Women are generally attracted to confident guys. Women, young women and even older women that never learn the difference misconstrue confidence for strength. Make the guy get to know you, make the guy work for you and you'll have less of this problem. That doesn't mean be cold. But don't give into his advances. Your company alone is worth his time. Know that! Believe that! And if he's not willing to do that he's not worth your time and effort. There still are pickup artists that will be patient with you. Because those guys will work several women at once. Look for the red flags. He'll slip up and reveal who he is if you pay attention. Most women simply don't want to put that kind of work in. They'd rather get all up in there feelings and ig ore every red flag.

[sweetpeababygirl27]

Ohhh I do play into everything. I should make the guy work for me. Thank you for telling me that because I never had anyone tell me this. I didn’t grow up with men in my life so there’s a lot I don’t know. This advice will help me change my perception and do better.

[Anonymous]

Exactly who wrote these magazines on what men want?

[sweetpeababygirl27]

Im not sure but all of the online articles and love gurus on youtube say what men want. you have to be give him space, let him hang with his friends, be a slut in bed, be fit, be drop dead over the top gorgeous, dont have any kids, dont call him too much, dont text too much, etc. it’s exhausting at this point….

[Opinion Owner]

I understand that, it can be exhausting. I ask who wrote it because it’s usually women who have all these columns on what men want when in reality they should be asking men what they want. How many LTR have you actually had?

[sweetpeababygirl27]

I did not know women wrote those and I want to hear from men. I want the raw truth and I've had two LTR

[Opinion Owner]

A lot of times women do wrote those things. How long were the relationships? Why did each one end?

[sweetpeababygirl27]

My marriage was 5 years from
18-22 years and the second one was two years i was about 24-25 years

[Opinion Owner]

May I ask why so young as far as why you got married the first time? Honestly would you say all the blame lay on him as far as why the marriage failed? Or was it the both of you learning to be married for the first time?

[sweetpeababygirl27]

it was both of our fault plus we were too young we thought we were in love and ready to be married we even had a child during our first year of marriage its was a hardship

[Opinion Owner]

I see so that wasn’t so much he cheated on you the best wife ever. It was both of your fault. So I wouldn’t count that as far as you were the best ever but still got cheated on. You get what I mean? It was just a combination of a lot of things like you said as well as being too young. What about the second time?

[sweetpeababygirl27]

yes correct and the second time i was cheated on and replaced. When the situation didn't go as planned he tried to come back to me.

[Opinion Owner]

So maybe it’s just one time this actually happened even though you made it sound like it’s happened more than once. Was there an explanation as to why he did this? I mean I hate to say it but the dude may have just been a POS to begin w but you didn’t realize that. That regardless of who ended up w he would have cheated.

[sweetpeababygirl27]

There was no explanation really and I ignored all the red flags for sure but I never seen it thay way until now. Maybe I take things too personal he would have done that same thing to someone else because a dishonest person is just a dishonest person it has nothing to do with me. I have to just make better choices. I get what you mean.

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly. So don’t give up. Trust me a majority of us go through a beating when it comes to relationships till we meet the right person who makes all the paid we’ve endured worth it. It’s like it never happened once you’ve met that person.

[Anonymous]

Learn lots of sex moves and initiate sex a lot and be willing to do the guys fantasies no matter what they are !!

[Anonymous]

Cause you are easy.

[sweetpeababygirl27]

ok all opinions are welcomed here thats why I asked

[Opinion Owner]

You keep guys like that out of your life through positive affirmation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hE8eYGVwMU

[Opinion Owner]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kO1kgl0p-Hw

[Opinion Owner]

Just calm down. Look in the minor and do a power pose. And tell yourself "I am enough" think it and feel.

When you think bad things will always happen to you, it becomes your reality. When you think good things will happen that will become your reality. Look at the videos. They didn't make the shots, but they lied and said they did they started hitting the shots.

Believe in yourself.

[Opinion Owner]

And if it is too hard to do it by yourself there is always Hypnotherapy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNlPjIonE7g

[sweetpeababygirl27]

thank you so much for the videos and the advice i really appreciate it

[Opinion Owner]

I really hope you do it.

[KrakenAttackin]

Stop chasing Chad Thundercock.

[sweetpeababygirl27]

lol ok

[Anonymous]

Try dating women?

[sweetpeababygirl27]

I’m only sexually attracted to men. I love men so much I’m just having trouble.

[Opinion Owner]

Women are beautiful and better in all ways