Why do men follow influencers/models on instagram?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend (27) follows models/influencers/… bc he thinks they’re “beautiful and sexy”. He says it doesn’t mean anything, that he isn’t attracted to them. He claims he doesn’t fantasize about them or masturbates to them, that his interest is not in any way sexual. Yet their looks are what he’s interested in. He claims that I’m the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen, that I’m the only one who turns him on. He says he truly loves me. Then why is he interested in other girl’s looks? He knows I don’t like it and that it hurts me. Please tell me, is he being honest? What does this mean?

[dantheman1118]

You asked for honest answers so I will give you and honest answer. I don't know either of you so take it for what it is. The thing I have on my side is I am a male and I believe I have a pretty good understanding on guys brains for the most part.

I'll start by saying your boyfriend isn't doing anything with intention of hurting you. He isn't doing it for any other reason than a hot female wearing little amounts of clothes is something that triggers something in the male brain that we know we enjoy. It's hot. It's sexy. We are attracted to it. It's in our DNA. We just enjoy seeing it. Does that mean he is cheating on you? Absolutely not. Does that mean he will or wants to? Nope. Means none of that. Does that mean he thinks those girls are hotter than you? Not even close. He does it because he gets little shots of endorphins when he sees it. It's not because he thinks they are better than you.

Now something I want to bring up where he did fuck up in my opinion. Where he says he isn't attracted to them I feel that isn't that truth. The words "attracted" and "attractive" are not always thought or used properly. Think of two magnets. If you get them close enough, one will grab the other with out touching them because one attracted the other because they are attractive to metals and other magnets. Your eyes do that kind of stuff everyday. Your eyes and brain will go where they are attracted. People who look good are attractive. That's life. Your brain gives you a small reward when you find it something attractive. That doesn't mean your gonna strip down naked and throw yourself at something attractive. You just have to admire the beauty some people possess. Women do it all the time too but the men they do it doesn't necessarily have to be in beach attire for your brain to give you that endorphin shot. It has nothing to do with his urges to cheat or finding them more attractive than you.

The last thing is he says he doesn't masturbate to them or look in a sexual way. This one is entirely opinion based. But if they are super sexy pictures why wouldn't he look in a sexual way and/or masturbate to them? I think most can relate to masturbating in their day to day. I believe it's proven most men need visual stimulation. Masturbating is sexual. I wouldn't argue those points if I were him. To me it doesn't seem honest but you kind of backed him into a corner. You were offended so I am not telling you were wrong for expressing your feelings to him but you got to understand even if he were masturbating to them, he really isn't doing anything wrong. The only reason he even lied to you about it was you were hurt by it and he didn't want to hurt you anymore. This topic seems to mess with a lot of relationships. There are a few things that just come with being a woman and things that come with being a man. One of those things is dudes are going to jerk off and always prefer visual stimulation to go with it. He doesn't do it because he is picking favorites or because he wants to cheat on you. It happens because of what each person is attracted to.

[lynnn]

this should get MHO

[Hudiakan]

Most guys who follow instagram models date girls who look nothing like them. Why don't they date those women instead of leading others on? To me it says that those models are his type and that he is settling for me. You can't tell me that if anyone of those models gave him a chance, he won't act on it in a heartbeat?

[lynnn]

@Hudiakan love is far more than skin-deep. if he’s built something special with you, then that is priceless and he wouldn’t dare risk losing you

[lynnn]

however, this issue aside, does he make you feel sexy and hot? because he should.

[dantheman1118]

@Hudiakan so I might not be the cut out of the typical guy out there. I can answer a couple o f your concerns but just for the record, I'm not speaking on the behalf of your boyfriend. I do not know your boyfriend. I'm speaking on my behalf.
Anyway, what I have found most extremely hot women are bat shit crazy and take a lot of upkeep to keep happy. I don't do well with bat shit crazy and if your high upkeep, no thanks. Too much BS.
What he looks at to get aroused doesn't mean that's his type. I look at a lot of blondes in porn but I typically don't date blondes. Nothing you have said makes me think that he thinks he settling.
Once again, I don't know your boyfriend or how he treats you. But me personally, I don't cheat no matter what. he could be the same way. I know that if I am in a relationship and if an Instagram model started to unzip my pants I would have to turn it down. Probably jerk off before I even get home. But I wouldn't cheat.

[lynnn]

@dantheman1118 i agree with you. high maintenance girls are just not worth the drama, even as friends.

[YourFavoriteFriend]

I would have personally unfollowed and deleted any female accounts (not that I follow anyone now to begin with, lol) if that made my girl feel uncomfortable.

I think that both people must feel safe and loved in a relationship so he must delete them. If not, then you know what to do.

[Anonymous]

Yeah.. a lot of guys make it seem like you’re being petty, because most of them do the same thing. A guy can appreciate other women, sure, but he doesn't have to act on it does he? Since he has a girlfriend/wife, everything he does affects the relationship but he doesn't care enough to know that.


My ex was like that.. following and “loving” other women’s photos. It made me obsessive and doubtful. Definitely hurt me too, so i get where you’re coming from. My advice? Find someone who respects your feelings. I've always been embarrassed when i see his name in other girls’ sexy photos. It shows his lack of respect for his girl and his relationship. Dont get me wrong, its very common so not all guys understand it.


Im with someone new, who doesn't do things like these. Does he find other women attractive? Of course. Does he feel the need to act on it/do something about it? No. Thats all i want. Thats what he should do without me having to tell him (and i never had to). Thats what i wanted. A guy i didn't have to tell not to do this and that. He just knows. Find that guy he exists :). I feel much secure, respected, and loved. In return, i do so much for him. Nothing compared to what i did for any of my exes. Simply because im genuinely happy.


Dont settle, is all.

[Opinion Owner]

They say its not a big deal, but that’s the point.. little things are what matters. The little things he does or doesn't do, pile up and they become the big things. He tells you all those things, but they’re just that.. words. Nothing compared to what he actually does. Dont lower your standards. Keep your boundaries and personally, you dont deserve to keep reminding him that after seeing he doesn't change anything at all.

Good luck though, and i wish you get what you deserve.

[Rhizomorph]

Honestly: I’m struggling w/ this too w/ my s/o but I have never brought it up to him because I see no reason to. These girls are girls that he’s probably been following long before he met me, even if that’s the case it shouldn’t really matter since he’s still actively choosing me/prioritizing me. Also, he and I don’t really go on our phones when we’re together so I never feel like I’m put to the side. Either way, guys just like visual stimulus, it’s like candy to them. It’s not that you’re not enough it’s just that lots of guys are almost damn near insatiable w/ what they have and don’t pay any mind to how it looks.

[FilmGuy93]

Because they are physically appealing. It's just eye candy.

[TroyDT2]

"He knows I don’t like it and that it hurts me."

Thus his excuses are irrelevant. He does not respect you or care enough about you to give up his obsession. And yes, it's an obsession. A normal guy will notice a pretty girl even if his girlfriend is stunning. But following is akin to staring and gawking. Complete disrespect.

[Anonymous]

He’s lying. And it’s pretty obvious 🙄. Is he cheating? Maybe not. But you better believe he thinks they’re attractive and is attracted to them and is jerking of to them. Why would a guy follow a model he doesn’t know and don’t find them attractive like make it make sense lol. He has wondering eyes

[Jamie05rhs]

He needs to grow up. He's still stuck in "Single" mode.
I think you need to slap him and say "HEY! [his name]! Guess what? You're not single anymore! You have a GIRLFRIEND!" [Do a sexy pose and trace your fingers down your body.]. You don't have to look at internet models anymore. You have a REAL Woman! 😃". [And smile just like that.]

[bamesjond0069]

Means he's a beta simp. 1. Why does he give trash girls attention online when he should be fucking you? 2. He is a liar because he's scared of you. Clearly he doesn't think you are the most beautiful woman in all the world... so he's a liar. Shit if my girl put me on the spot I'd tell her honestly what I thought not bullshit her nonsense.

[EmmaMary]

I'm sure you asked this very same question just a few days ago... Yawn!

[CallmeTheKnight]

Yea you definitely pressed him for answers didn't you? Insecurity is an ugly trait to have...

[RedPassion95]

It's disrespect! Imagine your girlfriend getting off to hot models.

[Hudiakan]

It is unfair to say she is insecure because you don't experience many women checking out many men and liking instagram models the way men do. If you date someone who openly likes and compliments attractive models who look nothing like you, don't complain. It hurts. Women are emotional creatures who seek security and afformation.

[CallmeTheKnight]

Yet she keeps putting up with it. She is being insecure, let alone not putting her foot down. She knows this dude is clearly lying and she claims to be confused about something that's in her face? She doesn't like it and he still chooses to go against her wishes, while she's aware of it?
That's basically insecurity

[Anonymous]

Why don't you just look at the answers you got when you asked this same question a few days ago?

[Anonymous]

His visual fantasies are not your business. Just like your mental fantasies are not his business.

[Seaside92]

Most guys are the same. Don't think too much and don't make yourself sad.

[PizzaPieMamaBear]

Pervey just pervs

[foreverams]

Ig bc they're pretty?

[ArtemisSilver]

No idea. I have better things to do