Why do men complain instead of just improving who they are?

Question

MCheetah · Accepted Answer

Because 1) There's nothing that says you can't complain about the unfairness or life and vent out your frustrations AND ALSO work on improving who you are, as the two are not mutually exclusive.

2) Changing who you are often doesn't work, because people will say one thing and mean another. Like in dating, women claim they want intelligent and funny men, but rarely ever date such men or take an interest in them. And women also claim height and looks are irrelevant, yet all the men they have dated were tall and good looking, that they'll then dismiss as coincidental.

3) Most women aren't worth having to change who you are, just to please. If they can't accept you for who you are, then they aren't right for you. And a dating coach should know this very basic fucking advice.

But sure, why be your own man, when you can be a pussy slave and think jumping through hoops for ungrateful women makes you a "winner." Yeah, confidence and self-respect? That's incel shit! Instead, I need to be a fake ass-kisser and wanna-be "Alpha Male" with money and abs, in order to impress shallow shitty women with superficial bullshit! Now THAT'S be a "true winner," am I right?

People are entitled to be pissed off at the shittiness life gave them, and you, nor anyone else, get to tell them they can't be. No one got to choose their height, looks, family's income level, place of birth, and social circle around them. And fuck anyone who says you just have to shut the fuck up, eat shit, and happily grin with being fucked over in life by awful, shitty people. I'm sure wimps and pussies do that. But some people actually do get pissed off and want to make changes for themselves, the first step being admitting there's a problem, instead of taking it up the fucking ass and smiling about being shit-on in life, regardless of what that is.

Now, if you said men complain and DO NOTHING to change their situation or ever work on improving themselves at all, that's another thing. But you didn't say that. You're bitching about men disagreeing with your shallow, shitty superficial mindset of chasing emotional validation and social popularity, rather than working on self-acceptance, regardless who "likes that" or not.

Which is exactly why I can "whine and bitch" on GirlsAskGuys, while also working on myself, and don't have to give a tiny baby shit what random internet people behind a keyboard likes that or not. Cause, we still have that right, for now.

And yes, I know this post was probably inspired by me, or other men, from this MyTake.

inhua · Accepted Answer

they do improve on who they are. they can't improve on what they are.

a rude person can easily become a kind person if they wanted to but a short person can't become a tall person even if they wanted to. same thing goes for jobs and money, there's a limit to that as well.

you can empty a dumpster full of rubbish, paint the color gold over it and fill it with diamonds but at the end of the day, it's still a dumpster. who you are isn't important in a post-modernist world, only what you are. not just your height, job etc. but also your skin color, your sexuality, your gender pronouns and whatever privilege you may or may not have etc.

and when some of these people do try to improve themselves, they get shat on even worse for trying to make themselves better.

even if hypothetically every man improved themselves to their absolute best, there is still gonna be winners and losers. the world isn't designed for socialism and no one is gonna get a participation trophy just for trying.

melanieeeB · Accepted Answer

I personally think that every person who just keeps complaining, without holding in and thinking "maybe I need to change something" and like do something positive and healthy and good for them too, are just bitter and lost people.
People who are probably scared of facing their own emotions, problems from the past and just overall their own behavior and who are probably also scared of change.
Cause it's easier to stay on the path that you're right now and keep complaining and winning and blaming everyone else, instead of doing the work for personal growth.

TrueConfection · Accepted Answer

A lot of good men are good because they made improvements as needed (women too). I have a son in HS who tells me a lot of guys his age have found a trend in bragging about their problems. Declaring a mental illness seems to garner extra popularity.

Lionman95 · Answer

Because complaining is way easier. The problem is also to change your behavior you need to a.) come to terms with being the problem or something that you do is a problem and b.) you need to know what to change and how to change.
But since many guys don´t go to therapy or don´t have a partner they´ll have a hard time figuring out what exactly and how to change. Because of that speaking also from own experience guys try to change something but fail on the way so that they move back to old behavior methods.

Weapon77 · Answer

Depends on that man, but it's largely because our culture is tailored to creating the victim mentality. When you are in that mentality, you think no matter how hard you try you'll still fail.

But there are also some guys who cannot really improve themselves any further and despair. Like in my case, I don't have much I can improve on since my hair is leaving me, and I can't reverse it. In every other area, I am constantly working on improving myself, so it's frustrating that no amount of effort or discipline will fix my hair. Some guys have similar issues with their height and such.

UniquelyBasic · Answer

Its easier to blame other circumstances rather than yourself because most people won't like the truth.

exitseven · Answer

It is a lot easier to complain than to fix the problem. Change takes hard work and guts.

purplepoppy · Answer

Because it takes effort. how often do you see guys and think a better haircut would up his chances? But no, it's far to much effort to seek a decent barber and ask ""what would suit me better". much easier to stay at home and let mother cut it with a pudding bowl on your head when she's drunk. Then you can use that energy online to whinge about women.

Hawner · Answer

So, let me get this straight: a man is healthy, has a job that he loves, has a look that he is comfortable with, he is nice to everybody, has a clear goal in life but is willing to take detours when needed, and he is in general happy and optimistic. The only issue he has is that no woman chooses him as her partner.
What part of him must he improve?

mobiusforniner · Answer

Because they are NOT men. They are BOYS. A true man is never "number one", because comparing with others is for the immature. A true man is on a continual journey to improve himself and be the best he can be.

A man isn't a failure until he blames someone else.

DoctorSex · Answer

Everything is on a spectrum my friend. Often times you have to complain before you take charge.

----> complain ------> take charge.

Just like one needs to forgive oneself before moving on after a mistake. I wouldn't think much about it or be stuck on the first stage.

Kind regards,
DoctorSex

dolemite89 · Answer

cuz being a better version of yourself doesn’t always fix things, i can make more money and be in better shape and women are still going to be a pain in the ass 🤣

JDavid25 · Answer

A lot do improve themselves.. Especially when they listen to people like Jordan Peterson who tells them to stop complaining and just improve.. Sometimes improvement can only get you so far before you realize, it's a cruel world put here even in the dating world.. But I don't stand by that statement because it's too general.. Yes plenty of men complain but plenty actually take the time to improve themselves..

FunkyMonkee · Answer

I've heard WAY more women bitch than men!! Them having a shit taste in men doesn't help!!

NathanDavis · Answer

Coach... those are not men, you know it once you truly become a man, all that nonsense comes to a stop...

Sour-rose · Answer

Maybe because complaining is the thing they know of instead of changing the problem. If they REAAALLY hate the problem, they fix it. If not, then it's not that bad or they feel hopeless to change what's wrong.

Joker_ · Answer

it's unfair that men have to improve themselves when women don't need to. that said, complaining doesn't change the fact that men do indeed need to improve themselves, and women will still be entitled by nature with the gift of not needing to do anything - so I'd say it's fine to complain, just as long as it's understood that complaining won't change shit

Alex8736 · Answer

in my day failure wasn't an option. you win some and you lose some but at a young age i was taught to either "sh*t or get off the pot". it's sad how times have changed for the worse with all the woke propaganda and men wonder why women are becoming more successful being if a woman wants something they will go for it vs talking about it. everyone has a choice and people shouldn't complain about anything they are not willing to change. happy black Friday everyone

NamerOfStars · Answer

Because the vast majority of problems a man encounters stem from causes outside of himself. Only a fool or a demigod takes the weight of the world on his shoulders.

aaron210419 · Answer

You're talking about boys, sir. Men are always trying to improve themselves.

Looksnicholas · Answer

Interesting photo there. I for one am quite happy how I am actually. At 28, I'm a lot wiser even than at 25 or at 22 I would like to think. And ongoing 👍🏻

FinalFantasyBro · Answer

The same reason why women would complain as well literally nobody doesn't feel like there isn't any hopes in improving their lives so they most likely would just wait it out until they kick the bucket.

SnowedIn · Answer

Improving is hard. Self-awareness is even harder. Putting in the effort to improve is harder still.

Anonymous · Answer

For the same reason women do. There's a LIMIT to what I'm willing to change. Life has taught me she either likes you or she doesn't and you can be a complete burnout much of the time. And if she adores you, being a burnout likely won't change that, at least not right away 🤣. I know what I am, I know what I bring to the table. And if her expectations are really that unrealistic I don't need or want her in my life. I value my happiness. I'd rather be happy and single if that's the case.

NerdInDenial · Answer

Because many men have no direction.

LazerBean · Answer

Nobody likes the idea that *they* are the problem. Seems like those people make up 70% of this site.

loveslongnails · Answer

Complaining alone frees you of personal responsibility for how you got there. Improving and changing takes work on any level, especially the personal one.

AdithyaR · Answer

Multiple reasons 1. Most people don't like accepting their faults. 2. Change is always hard  3. It's easier to sit and complain than to get up and fix it.

Tracker1958 · Answer

Men do complain a lot, women actually set out to destroy another woman. Her family, job, life, it's unreal to see what a woman will do to another woman. So much for the sisterhood. It is fun to watch.

TroyDT2 · Answer

For the same reason a lot of people do what they do. It is far easier to blame others than it is to put in the effort to improve oneself.

Therisinghero12 · Answer

Pride probably, im guilty of this, in the heat of the moment I tend to complain (in my own head) but once all cools off I start to think how I can be better

Fireguy17 · Answer

it's much easier to complain, than self-improvement.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Improving yourself requires effort, focus and work.  Bitching and moaning and playing the victim feels easy.

altaboy · Answer

It's never my problem, it's always someone else's problem! Lol!

Anonymous · Answer

For the same reason fat women spend more time trying to force men to believe they are “sexy” than to actually put in the work of being attractive.

Luopio27 · Answer

I always have to think what I have to do today to get acceptance tomorrow.

dexter234 · Answer

Complaining is easier

Fuentes · Answer

Simps & incels i don't feel bad for weak men

Guardian45 · Answer

Why does anyone complain instead of just improving who they are? Blame others; NOT yourself!

grega239 · Answer

I guess i do complain. Never irl thou. I've got plans

Red1723 · Answer

Good question i believe it is insecurities about who they really are or how they look..

pewter_moon · Answer

Exactly. That goes for woman too.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Too little context. You trolling?

PinkRose24 · Answer

Lol  😂

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Complaining takes less time And effort.

es20490446e · Answer

Because they like to be defeated.

Googlemyahoo · Answer

Lol women do the same. My wife most of the time.

Anonymous · Answer

Most men are all talk and no action.

msc545 · Answer

Not all problems can be fixed.

OddBeMe · Answer

Learned helplessness

Why do men complain instead of just improving who they are?

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Why do men complain instead of just improving who they are?

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