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So, clearly, I don't know the story here. But this guy is acting like a guy who feels "wronged". That I can tell you for sure. This is the reaction of someone who is suuuuper pissed-off and one-way-or-another feels wronged.
Now, whether or not he has any good reason to feel wronged is a WHOLE other thing.
If, this is his reaction to you breaking up with him for having said something or other... and THAT is what's made him so angry... then holy fucking red-flag. Don't take that guy back FOR SURE.
Assuming he's not a ticking time-bomb who takes a regular-ass breakup this... badly... then there has to be SOME reason/rational (in his mind) where you somehow did him wrong.
Honestly... it's probably best to take your stuff back, move on, and don't bother finding out. This is crazy (unless there's something else he's mad about)
He didn’t take ownership for what he said and explained it to be a joke. Joke or not a joke.. doesn’t make a difference since what was said was that offensive to me. He began to back pedal and bring up things that I’ve done wrong and then I followed up with … I’m done. I can’t take this… I said some truthful things calmly and collectively about him that were intended to educate him on the way he comes off to others. That’s really the extent of it
@Sammie_hunts Honestly sounds like he's better off. He's come to his senses and has done the best thing for him which is distance himself from people like you. He even returned your stuff to your doorstep. Sounds like you're the one that's made and he's doing the mature thing moving on to something better.
So... basically he isn't mad about anything aside from having been broken-up with? To me it's way beyond the story of what he said that led to the breakup. THe point is:
1. guy does something that upsets girlfriend enough to break up with him.
2. Guy reacts like she fucked him over or cheated on him or did SOMETHING warranting him cutting off all contact, blocking you and leaving your shit outside on the poarch (basically a "fuck you have a nice life).
That seems like an overreaction.
Most guys would either appologize, or be stubborn (in maintaining he was right to say whatever he said). In the latter case, there's no reason for him to be mad enough to... do anything. This reaction is kinda nuts.
I think you should be done. I really think that's the way to go. I hope you stick to it.
He told a group of his guy friends that I met for the first time that I was horny when he thought I Left the room. I’m a mother and just got done speaking with these men about my son and my home life. I was completely embarrassed and thrown off guard
@Sammie_hunts You should consider yourself lucky most women rarely get to hear how guys talk about women when they're not around. Regardless if you broke up w/ him he's doing the right thing by returning your stuff. You have a kid on top of that? Is the kid his? This guy sounds pretty fortunate to have dodged a bullet. More guys should take a cue from him and disassociate from women that don't bring anything to the table but problems. What does this guy do for a living?
@Vegasrunner you’re a woman hater 🤣 woman should take a hard look at your pathetic response and learn to run from boys who speak like derelict trash
@Sammie_hunts That is certainly a position you are welcome to hold, however I'm not the one that had someone return my belonging or block me on social media. I encourage all women to read my response so they can learn from your mistakes. TY for sharing.
Ok, so what you just said in your last reply. Let's say none of the breakup stuff happened. Let's say you came on GAG and your only problem was him talking about you this way with his guy friends...
Based on that ALONE, I can tell you that this guy isn't a good guy.
Is that the worst thing or most disrespectful thing a guy could say to his buddies when his girlfriend leaves the room? No obviously not. It's not "that bad" so far as possibilities go. Nevertheless, that SAYS something about a guy.
It actually says a lot. Only a minority of guys would ever say this. Only a minority of guys would THINK to say this. Only a minority of guys would think that made him look better in the eyes of his guy-friends. Most guys don't talk about their girlfriend's this way to their guy friends. That's especially true in a situation where you were just talking about the super-non-sexual "being a mother".
So while I would never tell someone they ought to dump their boyfriend for this alone. It does tell me immediately that this guy is an asshat.
I hope you're finished with him?
One would think that at your ages, you'd have talked this out and got an explanation, unless what he said was SO inappropriate and wrong, there's no taking it back. Hard telling, not knowing what he said (message me with more if you like).
But as to your ask of "why this behavior from him?" That's easy; you're in the wrong in his eyes, acting like an irrational bitch, and he wants to erase and replace you. He'll tell the next girl how he was unceremoniously dumped by his ex-bitch and get her sympathy vote for it.
So what horribly inappropriate thing did he say to make you do this?
He told a group of his guy friends that I met for the first time that I was horny when he thought I Left the room. I’m a mother and just got done speaking with these men about my son and my home life. I was completely embarrassed and thrown off guard
Opinion
49Opinion
I'm confused... the relationship is over... did you not want your things back?
Read the whole question
He told a group of his guy friends that I met for the first time that I was horny when he thought I Left the room. I’m a mother and just got done speaking with these men about my son and my home life. I was completely embarrassed and thrown off guard
Had he of apologized and took ownership for upsetting me I could of forgiven it. Instead he deflected and said something snarky
I feel like Ashton Kutcher is about to pop out here!
You broke up with him. He's giving you your stuff and getting you out of his life. I don't know if he's mad, but he's certainly moving on. You probably should as well. You broke up with him; this is your new life without him being a part of it.
If he is mad, it's probably because he is hurt. We make mistakes and do things but we can't always see that we were in the wrong, or maybe we weren't, and had some reason for what we did. But I don't think it's something to concern yourself with now, that's in the past.
I read some of the other answers and your responses, sounds like you gave him an additional lecture about all the things that are wrong with him that you don't like. So he had more to think about and probably a bit hurt for sure that his girlfriend had all those negative things she was thinking about him the whole time. Probably doesn't want to have anything to do with you, so that explains the block and &c. Works out for you, since you wanted the distance.
You feel that you were wronged by what he said about you... but he feels he did nothing wrong, that you wronged him by breaking up with him or possibly that what he said wasn't a big deal or that he apologized (I have no idea on any of this, all conjecture.)
I've had guys no show for dates and then when I won't reschedule they try to act like I'm the problem for refusing to reschedule. When it was him who no showed, no called, no text, no nothing and stood me up.
Why? Cause he had a good reason and I should just forgive and reschedule... by refusing to do so, I'm being the bad person in his eyes.
Possibly something like that.
Let's see! Hmmmm YOU broke up with him. Now he has returned your belongings to you and you are wondering why he is mad? Are you upset he is not attempting to get you back? I agree the social media thing is a bit childlike, but most likely he is cutting you out of his life. I don't know the backstory and to be honest, I don't want to know. Just know that he might be in a lot of pain right now and has blocked you to have some peace in his life. My only advice is DO NOT evade that block! Leave him alone. If and when he is ready he will contact you.
I think he's just giving you the breakup like you wanted. Him being wrong about what he said doesn't mean the situation can't make him angry. He's still going to have feelings about it. Either way, you broke up with him and he's not fighting back.
My thoughts exactly.
Without knowing what he said we have no idea. Why didn't you tell us what he said? For all we know you just took it wrong. But, what? He is supposed to be happy you broke up with him? Maybe you had a reason and maybe you didn't. If you posters want opinions give us more information in the question as we are not mind readers.
He told a group of his guy friends that I met for the first time that I was horny when he thought I Left the room. I’m a mother and just got done speaking with these men about my son and my home life. I was completely embarrassed and thrown off guard
Well, were you horny? Was he telling the truth?
Not that I was aware of. I was at an adult house warming party
You should have checked the bedroom out then.
You’re a Classless skank
And you are trolling over nothing. You need to talk to your boyfriend, not ask us.
Clean break. People are allowed to feel what they feel in a break-up.
Leaving your items vulnerable was inappropriate though. I would only do that if it was a dangerous or heated break-up. Even then I might ask to leave them at their friends or something more respectful.
Nah, i would do the same thing. It isn't inappropriate.
Exposing their items for theft? It is. In a court it would be too.
Well it won't be "exposing" after I knock on her door and leave the stuff in front of her.
She would take them IN sooner or later.
@__MisterGoneShiner__ The judge asks “What if she wasn’t home?”
I figured so and didn't left them, your honour. I took them back into my car's trunk altogether, called it a day, enjoyed a cold one and made sure that she was home and EVENTUALLY left her stuff after knocking the door.
My grandma is an ex-judge, dear sister. I can answer any questions you ask me.
@__MisterGoneShiner__ Having a relative as an ex judge kept you out of trouble often? lol
I ain't a troublemaker or a criminal. I suggest you to stop acting like a little know-it-all and try to enrage me. :)
@__MisterGoneShiner__ Maybe learn from someone with more life experience or you’ll end up in jail.
I believe that my Professor dad and International UN Expert mom has life-based knowledge more than enough? 😏
@__MisterGoneShiner__ Probably a foster kid and grandma was the judge who adopted you?
You are pushing your luck love.
STOP. 😘
@__MisterGoneShiner__ In other words, nailed it. ✌🏻
Does the suffering, crying of the people gives you pleasure? Wow, and people would call me the masochist. 😅
"I suggest you to stop acting like a little know-it-all and try to enrage me."
Typo? I believe you meant to say "engage"?
Wow, sister... I'd expect such a question from my age range but from you?
I can't believe this and you that you dont know the answer, and the people says, "wisdom and knowledge comes with age"
OK, here's the thing. He OPENLY says,
"GTFO my life and never come back"
... With this action i mean, in case you didn't understand the expression...
Right I get what the action means. But how is this all justified actions towards me? I ended it because he wronged me
Ehh. You will reap what you sow.
Well I was sowing self respect
The potato got poisoned then I guess. Be careful, the basket is full with ripe and good ones, dont spoil them with the poisoned one. :)
Also , age has nothing to do with relationship intelligence. I haven’t had many boyfriends in my life I was married for a long time. So age is not relevant.
I said it IN GENERAL, NOT ONLY FOR RELATIONSHIP
Listen, I'm also brokeup with my ex few months ago, he was narcissists, he always said something harsh, always think that his better than me and anyone, compared me to other girls and his exes, he insulted me and he gaslighting me, he doesn't even feel guilty and now he has new girlfriend, I'm also have new boyfriend.. just forget him, he's immature.. he doesn't care about you, he doesn't love bcs who loves you would never do such things, they won't acted like this.. they would respect you and value you.. listen to that again
to him this shows that you are emotionally weak and insecure. He doesn't want a girl who is gonna be threatening to break up every time they get into an argument. he wants an emotional strong women who is willing to go through tough times and you are not the one. Thats why he broke up with you. sheesh i would do the same.
I understand this... unless she gave him sufficient time to and he didn't apologize. This has to be the straw that broke the camels backs because saying a bad joke is not enough to break up with someone so their relationship must have been wearing in other ways also. We all make mistakes, the point is, apologize NOT to mean you are wrong or your mistake was intentional to cause pain, but because you are sorry anyway that it caused pain and want to keep peace.
Maybe this guy is always making distasteful "jokes" or maybe she does not match his personality
@LovingLoverReturned well if he is treating her horribly all the time then yeah she can just part ways but if its like the first time then she can try and figure out why he did it but not break up right away to prove him something. if she values her relationship then she will work hard for it not throw in the towel right away every time.
Yeah, you are right.
You broke up with him. Him returning your things and then blocking you on everything is actually a pretty typical and normal way to go about it- healthier than most people do, even. That's the end of the relationship, he's not necessarily even mad.
It's honestly not great that your assumption is that he's mad at you for breaking up with him.
You crossed the line of no return with the break-up word, rather than, “this hurts…I need some space.” Say what you mean and mean what you say.
No guy sees long-term potential in a girl that hurls around break up, separated, divorce in a pressured pack time. You failed the Test as unorthodox and unfair as it was. NO ONE is saying you are wrong in your “distance between” move but knowing how it is when heated 💣
You dumped him, what did you expect? Flowers and chocolates?
"Thanks for dumping me, here's your things nicely packed and a gift card".
He got dumped for being an asshat and not apologizing.
It does not really matter who was right or wrong in this situation, you broke up, whatever he chooses from then on, is or should be irrelevant to you
Just because I broke up with him dosent mean I don’t care. I do care. I just care about myself more. He disrespected me and instead of apologizing he began to deflect and it through me over the edge and I ended it. He’s victimized himself instead of apologizing.
I get that, but an apology does nothing now anyway, you're not together anymore, its time to focus on something else
Had he apologized when it happened and I addressed him I would be here asking this question. He told a group of his guy friends that I met for the first time that I was horny when he thought I Left the room. I’m a mother and just got done speaking with these men about my son and my home life. I was completely embarrassed and thrown off guard
He is obviously embarrassed for being caught saying it and knows he is in the wrong so its much easier to turn around and play as if he is the victim verses apologizing and owning up to his immature behavior. You're better off without him.
Sadly this is what I’ve also concluded
@DollAlone
You nailed it!
From the information you've given, he said something you didn't like, so you broke up with him, and now you're upset that he's carried through with the break up, and returned your property, blocked you on SM.
He's not mad, he just carried your break up with him to the logical conclusion.
Could it be that you are upset that he isn't chasing after you begging forgiveness?
Inappropriate and disrespect are two different things. You broke up with him and got your stuff back, now you wondering why he's upset... I'm not even gonna accept an innocent act, you broke up with him and he felt he was wronged when you broke up with him. This doesn't need to be explained to you.
I think he's the bigger person to return all your stuff and block you, because you sound like you're full of games.
Sounds like a douch with a broken ego, just let him throw his little anger tantrums while dodging the bullet lol
the red flag here is "I broke up with my boyfriend for saying something extremely inappropriate about me." This smells extremely snowflakey to me. My wife could say "your brother has a nice bulge" and this is not a reason to "break up". My guess would be your sensitivity is unbearable more than just this once.
He told a group of his guy friends that I met for the first time that I was horny when he thought I Left the room. I’m a mother and just got done speaking with these men about my son and my home life. I was completely embarrassed and thrown off guard
Get woke
I would have said that while you were in the room and had zero concern that someone would get mad. What are you going to do when you get married and your husband cheat, or goes to the titty bar or forgets your birthday or goes off on your mom who has been nagging him? you should try taking the bubble wrap off.
Sounds like your trailer trash life you were raised in has well prepared you for women who would find such nonsense tasteful. Buzz off weirdo
I was with someone for 16 years prior.
Listen girly, he could be mad for a multitude of reasons and we don't care, okay? It doesn't matter. Pat yourself on the back for taking the right step when you found out he's not the one for you. 💅
It sounds to me like you expected him to jump through hoops to make you change your mind, and he didn't so now you are hurt. Am I right?
Regardless, you broke up with him so I think he behaving the way most people who were broken up with would.
What reaction were you expecting? You broke up with him. Were you hoping he would beg for you to take him back?
He doesn't need your permission to feel whatever he's feeling. (I don't understand why you even care) The only thing I can fault him for is leaving your belongings unattended. I would have at least made sure you knew it was there.
He may be angry because he feels that he did nothing wrong.
Just because I broke up with him dosent mean I don’t care. I do care. I just care about myself more. He disrespected me and instead of apologizing he began to deflect and it through me over the edge and I ended it. He’s victimized himself instead of apologizing.
Would he stalking, harassing, and demanding you take him back be preferable? I seriously don't get what you want from the guy. He got dumped and he's moving on. You should do the same.
Because he probably is in the mindset of he can do no wrong and when he’s called out. He will just be angry at you. Not himself.
Whatever. He can be angry all he wants. It’s not your problem
Well now you know why he is possibly mad.
So what do you want? You are sure about your decision right? This one thing caused a break up? if yes it must be a Fairly new relationship.
Not sure why you care if you broke up with him. Any self respecting person would instantly shit you out and move on, what were you expecting, for him to grovel?
Kind regards,
DoctorSex
Just because I broke up with him dosent mean I don’t care. I do care. I just care about myself more. He disrespected me and instead of apologizing he began to deflect and it through me over the edge and I ended it. He’s victimized himself instead of apologizing.
That's what people do. Especially people who are in their feelings. You are the devil and they are the angel that was abusers. Cue the violins, life goes on..
You won't be the first nor the last to experience this so put your big girl pants on and get busy with you timetable and schedule in life.
Kind regards,
DoctorSex
Honestly when a person is anger at someone it’s either
A. Something going on at work, friends, and or family.
B. They is hiding someone such as: a new partner
Did he say sorry and asked to be forgiven for doing that thing which offended you?
Nope. If he had I would if worked through it
If he apologized and you refused to forgive him, it could have been understandable for him to be upset & sore about that.
But since he didn't say sorry and didn't ask to be forgiven, it's more puzzling.
It might be probable that he feels strongly about what he said about you that you find extremely inappropriate.
He told a group of his guy friends that I met for the first time that I was horny when he thought I Left the room. I’m a mother and just got done speaking with these men about my son and my home life. I was completely embarrassed and thrown off guard
Yeah, saying such to those guys was out of line. He doesn't see that he wronged you. Now, he doesn't even get it why you broke up with him. Such insensitivity & cluelessness can be destructive. You have the right to be very concerned.
Meanwhile, just be glad with your choice and leave him in the back of your mind until he's fully forgotten.
Um, do you not know how breakups work?
You broke up with him.
He gave you your shit back. (He could have thrown it away or sold it.)
Just what exactly are you upset about?
@Jamie05rhs
It seems that she doesn't think he has a reason to be mad. Thing is, we don't know if he's mad or not. To me it's kind of telling that she takes no responsibility for anything yet he shouldn't even be pissed? He's probably tired of dealing with her.
Read the entire question
@spartan55 thanks for trying to read my mind through a question but no, I expected an apology an understanding as to why I was hurt and angry about what he had said. I don’t want anything to do with him now he’s showed that him being right is more important than conflict resolution and apologizing for embarrassing me in front of 10 men I never met before.
@spartan55 I sure did it was loud and clear as day I had only ducked beside the couch to pet a dog on my way to the restroom.
@spartan55 you sure did speculate that I’m pissed. I’m not pissed, im confused as to why he instead of apologizing and instead making himself out to be the martyr was his recourse. When you say something hurtful about another person and they hear it the best recourse is to apologize and take ownership instead of being mad at me. He was the one in the wrong. I’ve been pleasant and nice to this guy and have been walking around on eggshells to make this man happy.
@spartan55 he clearly said to a group of 10 men when he thought I left the room that I was horny. He admitted he said it and replied that it was a joke that he knew I could hear it and it was meant to be funny. It wasn’t. He was bragging that a hot mom was horny for him … and not to say that I don’t have a sense of humor however , I just met these men and we were having good convos about our kids and vacations we took kids to… this was a new group of friends that he just introduced me to. I felt embarrassed and really offended that he would say that about me
Sounds like a total breakdown of communication.
I think what happened here is he said something stupid and immature without thinking first, she was embarrassed, and she got offended (kind of rightly so). But when she called him out for it, she was probably emotional in the moment, and she probably scolded him harshly, and so he felt like he was being attacked; so that caused him to put his defenses up and not truly listen to her. And this caused her to feel like she wasn't being heard and that he didn't care about her feelings. And it was just a downward spiral from there.
Rookie mistakes on both sides.
Why do you think he would keep your stuff after you broke up with him? It's your stuff. Also did you even give him a chance to make up for what he said, or did you just break up with him immediately after getting mad at him?
Read the whole question
I did, and there is so much missing context to the story.
If you broke it to him suddenly, sometimes that is going to happen that they will just end it right there. If you didn't want it to end that way it should have been a conversation.
Yeah peoole don't exactly act logical in emotional situations.
Although I'm curious, why are you concerned about him being angry. He's out of your life, why focus on him now?
you broke up with him. why are you surprised he's getting rid of you from his life?
Just because I broke up with him dosent mean I don’t care. I do care. I just care about myself more. He disrespected me and instead of apologizing he began to deflect and it through me over the edge and I ended it. He’s victimized himself instead of apologizing.
Doesn’t matter why he’s mad. He’s history. You made your choice. It’s time to move on.
WTFF do you expect? You should be happy that he was considerate enough to return your things.
I mean you broke up with him and he's respecting your wishes and giving you the break up. What are you complaining about?
Diversion Tactic of the Guilty. Watch more Perry Mason.
I guess you expected him to beg you to back together? I mean what are you talking about?
You broke up with him, so he doesn't want anything from a non relationship. Maybe he thought this is what you want.
Just because I broke up with him dosent mean I don’t care. I do care. I just care about myself more. He disrespected me and instead of apologizing he began to deflect and it through me over the edge and I ended it. He’s victimized himself instead of apologizing.
That sounds good. So he dropped off your stuff cause you're not a couple anymore. That's all.
Read the whole question.
Isn't that what he's supposed to do when you break up with him? Did you not want your stuff back?
Also, if you're 42 shouldn't you get how breakups work by now?
Read the entire question
You're upset that you were blocked on social media? Why? If you broke up with him why would you need to message him?
@spartan55 I’m pissed that he’s victimizing himself when he should of been apologetic for saying something embarrassing about me to a group of men when he thought I left the room
I think you have a better case in demanding an apology if you're still together. Once you break up it's not really clear why he owes you anything.
Well right or wrong nobody is going to be exactly happy they got dumped.
He's mad at you for breaking up with him- he doesn't have to feel neutral about that.
You dumped him on why wouldn't you not want him to give your stuff back.
Read the entire question
I did I was giving you my answer
The relationship is over, he's returning your stuff, and is likely concerned that if he does not block you, you will roast on his page (s).
You broke up with him and he returned your personal belongings. He's a little butt hurt. Let it go and move on. Don't dwell on the past.
Because men are assholes... That's why I switched teams...
If he's too immature to want to work on a relationship, then you can do better.
You broke up with him. What was he supposed to do with your things?
People have different ways of dealing with these kind of things. His seems to be to cut you off 100% and not look back.
Because you dumped him. Did you expect him to be happy? Also, you assume that you did NOTHING wrong, but I imagine you did. Nobody is truly blameless.
You dumped him. He is allowed to be upset, you self centred tosspot.
42 and you have the mind of 12 years old. You are a retard.
He is an idiot... will miss you after years just move on it is for the best, don't let this go because he will never stop after
What's mind blowing is not one of these jackasses in the comment section even once asked what he said that was inappropriate to initiate the breakup
Er you expected him to be happy about you breaking up with him?
What? Would you prefer he sold your stuff on Ebay?
Because you broke up with him for a petty reason. You both are children in my opinion.
Here is the rub. Being offended is a choice. Offense is never given only taken. If you were offended by something he said, a collection or words bothered you enough to break up with him, then that's on you. Yes he is right to be upset.. But you both need to grow up.
u Duh! You rejected him! The reason doesn't matter.
Forget it. Go on with your life.
He’s blaming the victim
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