I showed my guy friend a pic of me looking cute and he said I look elderly but don't know why I'm mad at that?

[Anonymous]

So I got dressed up to go out today and I did my hair and makeup and felt really cute and got compliments.

So I showed my guy friend a pic because he's in a different country right now and he said I looked different and said "you look like your 5 years in the future and he then said " you look elderly".

I got really mad and hurt and he said he that isn't bad and didn't know why I was mad.

I tried to explain to him why that hurt my feelings again and he said "well your hair looks good and your skin is nice you just look elderly.

I said that made me feel old when I'm only 32, but he said I don't look old. But I still got mad and hung up.

If I don't look old than why the first thing he said was I look elderly instead of "you look nice?"

Am I being overly sensitive? I was feeling beautiful till he said that and it really messed up my confidence.

[CMeow]

I would be upset if someone said I look elderly. He did later say you don’t look old though so maybe the style of makeup you chose was something he associated with older women. For example, I notice that heavy blush and dark red lipstick can make some younger women look years older.

another possibility is that he thought you were looking for compliments or attention from him —possibly thinking you like him— and wanted to show he wasn’t interested before he got to the point where he had to directly say so…. So he chose a borderline insult to convey that instead.

[Asker]

He ugly and I don't want to date him. I just see him a friend. I never told him he was ugly because I thought that would be rude, but I just told him now since he said I look like i aged 5 years and I look elderly.

[CMeow]

Hahaha yes hit him back! he's an idiot for saying that. If he truly didn’t realize how that’s offensive, he’s hopeless.

[Rosexøxø]

Lmfao it’s probably his way of trying to say mature.

If this were any case where he wanted to date or do (excuse me lol) “thangs” to you, he’d be saying that so you dressed more “revealing.”

You naive to loose cleavage or rebellious?

Mature looks good. Mature and elderly are really not the same 😂

[Asker]

So you would be ok with a man telling you that you looked elderly?

[Rosexøxø]

No I wouldn’t lol I’d ask if he meant mature since he’s from another country, and if he actually meant a grey haired wrinkly person.

He’d hopefully clarify and if it was deliberate insult, I’d respond accordingly.

[Rosexøxø]

I’m just letting you know, I have had experience with speaking with foreigners, so I laughed at the possibility of simply misunderstanding.

Your emotions are valid, but in this context, if he meant no harm and used a wrong terminology, it’s the perfect scenario for laughing at

Rage on you and the confusion on him lol 😂😂

I sincerely do apologize and hope things get cleared up.

I’m sure you looked amazing sis 😊 👯‍♀️

[Asker]

He's American born and raised.

[Rosexøxø]

Oh wow lol if he is American high chance he’s used to wayyyyy more revealing stuff lol

Decency and comfortable decency may be his interpretation of “elderly.”

He told you it was a good thing. You show difference and highlight to being a non-typical American girl.

I can’t read much into this stuff.

He may find that appealing if he ever wanted to date you or go another route of sexuality.

Because it’s different.

All I do know from this, (I can’t say he’d want you to be upset by it so that you dress revealing and give him a show)

Is that he verbally said it wasn’t bad.

I don't know what kind of guy he is, and how he views you tbh.

There’s so many unknown factors here, that the best thing for you to consider doing would be:

Verbalizing what his comments made you feel and it’s disrespectful, and an additional phrase of how you’d never say that to him.

Aside from discussing.

Giving yourself some possible space or letting him have the opportunity to reach out and all of that-

Wear whatever you’d truly like to.

That’s the most important thing.

[Asker]

I wasn't a picture of my outfit just my face and hair.

[Rosexøxø]

Hmm that’s odd then. It’s not like anything happened.

Maybe you wore extensive make up this time?

Maybe he was saying that so you’d wear natural?

[Rosexøxø]

American girls do cake on a lot of make up and from what I observe men don’t always enjoy it themselves

[Asker]

I wear minimal makeup only foundation and a little bit of eye shadow and lip gloss. But I like how keep making excuses for him.

[Rosexøxø]

I’m not sis 😬…

I think a lot of women need to grow up and evolve.

These negative emotions won’t solve anything for you.

You have to decide if you will wear what you want to or let others decide that for you,

And if you’re going to let others get you upset or if you’re going to remove the toxic people as necessary and live a life you WANT to live.

If you love drama may all your days see it, but I’m not about drama..

I personally have related to a similar instance of this in my past.

I don’t entertain guys who seem disrespectful and I don’t let what guys say get to me either.

Does it matter who’s side I’m on?

You will let this upset you too?

You need to be happy lol

I’m actually on logic’s side.

I don't know who that guy is nor you…

I wish the best for you both naturally.

🤷‍♀️

[Asker]

If i show u a pic in the inbox would u tell me if I look elderly or not

[Rosexøxø]

Well, I wouldn't say no, and would try to be honest, but I also do truly know you could post your pic anonymously and get a wider range of opinions. Maybe even make it a poll or so? ;-:

I assure you not even MY opinion matters.

If you are purely just seeking perspectives, I could offer them, but it shouldn't weigh on your confidence.

[Anonymous]

'Tbh he looks ugly but I won't tell him because that's rude. But maybe I should.'

Looks are usually subjective but in any case, maybe he senses this so got in there first.

[Wise4myage]

Well, he insulted you to some degree. So its natural to feel dissed.

[spartan55]

Don't go fishing for compliments if you can't handle negative feedback.

[Asker]

Tbh he looks ugly but I won't tell him because that's rude. But maybe I should.

[Rosexøxø]

@ asker 👐👏😆

[Rosexøxø]

Spartan maybe she wasn’t fishing but proud of her prize catch outfit?

Safe to say she may eat and hunt different game.

[fa6umaaxoxx]

Move on ,, he is not real friend , Real friend never do that