What does this mean for a guy to do this?

[sd1223]

Ok so I found out I’m not the only girl that he gets sex from I’m not surprised at all. But like today we were talking on the way back to me dropping him off and he said he has sex with me for the feeling. So my thing is if he says I aggravate him and he’s has very little attraction to me because of how I irritate him, why continue seeing me if he gets sex from multiple girls?

Updates

+1 y

I feel like if I were that turned off and aggravated by someone and could sex with someone else I wouldn’t subject myself to it.

[Shortman70]

Cause you keep giving it up for nothing. He has to invest nothing into your relationship to earn a trip to your honey pot. He stops by, you spread'em, he drops his load and out the door. Think about that! Your his cum dumpster, know your worth. I know that you're worth more! It's time you found someone that's gonna respect you, love you, someone that earns a trip to revel in your honey pot.

[FilmGuy93]

Why do you say he has very little attraction to you? That's clearly not true, or he wouldn't be sleeping with you. It sounds like you two have a sparky chemistry. The sex might be fun for him.

[sd1223]

Well that’s the thing he said that out of his mouth today. And I thought the same thing, if he finds me unattractive and not desirable why have sex with me? He said he has sex with me for the feeling despite him saying after I asked if I’m the only one who gives him sex and he said no.

[sd1223]

Could we PM if you don’t mind? It’s kind of a long story what all I want to say.

[FilmGuy93]

Sure… feel free to send me a message

[kylee2437]

You may be the girl that he is easily able to get sex from. The others may be having him put in work whereas you aren’t. It’s very telling when you are still continuing to have sex with him even though he admitted you aren’t that desirable to him

[sd1223]

Nah he said he gets sex from other girls. Thing is he called me yesterday afternoon saying that he wanted to hear my voice. Before that he’s been being a lot nicer, he’s let me text him more and he texted me last night asking if I wanted him to spend the night and we did. I had been asking for that for a long time and he even admitted that he did it for me.

[kylee2437]

@sd1223 like I said it doesn’t matter if he gets sex from other girls, you are the most convenient one. You are the one that all you have to do is get a text message from him the night of in regards to hanging with him and you are down. Yes he is going to pillow talk you and be nicer to you because that’s the reason why you are still around lol. He’s playing a game. If you don’t want the games and don’t want to deal with a fuck boy, don’t make yourself convenient to them.

[sd1223]

So just like today he asked me why do I still deal with him even though he said it’s not going to go anywhere? He could easily walk away from me especially since we don’t live near each other and that he doesn’t have feelings.

I just feel like 2 years is a long time to keep this going to say it’s just for sex especially if I’m not the only source.
We live about an hour and a half from each other so I’m not easily accessible and he admitted that’s why he started seeing someone else back in 2021.
He says one thing and then either says that’s not what it meant or downplay it.

[sd1223]

But if he finds me so aggravating why deal with me? I get your point but that’s just driving yourself insane. I wish I had thought to ask him but of course in the moment I didn’t think to.

[kylee2437]

@sd1223 the fact that he is questioning you makes it a fact that he wanted an ego boost and that your presence of keeping him around even though he had provided you with nothing is an ego boost. Men will literally waste years dealing with certain women especially if they give him access to dealing with you however/whenever. Trust me when I say this, if you were to ask him if he wanted a relationship with you , I highly doubt he would say yes

[kylee2437]

He thinks your personality is irritating but the convenient sex / hanging out makes you beneficial

[sd1223]

I just don’t understand where we went wrong then he tries to make it seem like he never had any feelings or that’s what it was the whole time we’ve been knowing each others

Why keep it going for 2 years if all I am was just sex?

[kylee2437]

He probably never had feelings and I said this already. He kept it going because you are a woman that is there for him at his nearest convenience but stays away when he doesn’t want you around.

[sd1223]

I hear you loud and clear it just doesn’t process in my head. Some stuff I asked him about he couldn’t give me an answer and it just further proved my point.

I know you said he’s being nice to keep me going so he can continue to get what he wants but he rode with me all the way back to my hometown to do something I wanted. That’s a lot to do for someone you don’t really desire like that.

[sd1223]

I just know if I had someone that felt how he does about me I wouldn’t subject myself to them. It’s hard because I don’t want to start over and love someone else just to get my heartbroken yet again.

[kylee2437]

@sd1223 so if he actually cared he would’ve asked you out and made you his girlfriend because a guy that truly cares isn’t going to let another guy take his place. Trust me, I had guys do some really nice things for me and in the end they didn’t really care. They do it because it’s just a way to keep you around like I said because I don’t think you are going to keep around a guy that straight up just isn’t doing anything for you

[sd1223]

It’s getting to the point where I want to move on but my heart won’t let me.
Him and I did date back in 2020 for like 2 months we met on an app.
I found out today when I asked him why did he like me before?
He said he thought I was a pretty girl but that when we met up he felt like I didn’t look like my pic and then when he knocked my wig off when we were in the moment and he saw my hair he was a bit turned off. But when he broke things off he never once said it was because he had no feelings, he saw no future for us, or wasn’t attracted to me it was more so he didn’t feel like he needed to be in a relationship, it was the distance and what we were doing was wrong (premarital sex).

That’s why it’s off hearing this all come out two years later, I feel like if he really felt that it would’ve been known then instead of now.

[kylee2437]

No he was lying for the sex and I am sure he always was lying for the sex. If a guy can have sex with you but throw back in your face that he isn’t ready for a relationship after the sex had been done- it’s clear he was using you for sex.

[sd1223]

Yeah that seems to be what this was and I got carried away in my feelings about him. He mentioned that some nights when we do have sex I’m not always on the 8 ball so if it’s not always good he keeps coming back. Like I’m trying to make it make sense.
Every little thing I was throwing back in his face and questioning him on he either had an answer, explained it or couldn’t explain it.

[kylee2437]

It recently happened to me too girl. Mine was thankfully not as lengthy but the guy did lie about wanting a relationship for sex. Just end things and take it as a lesson. I’ll never end up having sex with someone until 3-4 months into things

[sd1223]

Yeah that’s all I can do

[sd1223]

I think if it had ended as quick as it started then it wouldn’t hurt so bad but this is 2 going on 3 years

[kylee2437]

Well it hurts because you interpreted this situation as you being in a relationship with him, when in reality you weren’t, that’s why it’s important to take things as they actually are and going into situations knowing what you want otherwise you will end up in this exact situation where you are settling for things you don’t. Don’t put up with what you don’t want to. He gave you a simple clue that you would never be his girlfriend and that clue was that he is fucking other women. A man that wants to be with you would never give up his dirty laundry like that. He did that simply to give you a half truth because at least he wasn’t totally being dishonest

[sd1223]

So real quick, as him and I were coming home yesterday he made some kind of comment and then said at the end “if you want to be a good wife” I had caught him on it but of course he played like he didn’t say it but I knew what I heard. He does that a lot too express some kind of feelings even telling me one time on a casual call that he loved me and then when I catch him on what he said and ask about it he pretends he didn’t say it.

[kylee2437]

So he’s manipulative. Has he proved he would be a good boyfriend/husband?

[sd1223]

Maybe he is. At the time when we were dating yes he was a good boyfriend. At the beginning he made a natural comment of saying if him and I ever lived together that he it was a certain something he didn’t want me to do. Matter of fact this past July he asked me about idea of him coming to stay with me for a month. Who asks stuff like that of someone they aren’t into? Why would you want to live with me if you don’t see me that way?

That’s why this is so hard for me to understand with him.

[kylee2437]

I don't know girl a man saying that you aren’t desirable sounds less than husband material to me

[sd1223]

Well that part no is not husband material. It’s just with me when someone says one thing which I take to mean something and then switch up I give them the side eye. I don't know I just wonder why he wants to back pedal on the things that he said.

[kylee2437]

Sounds to me you are still trying to convince yourself he’s a good person even though he has repeatedly made you feel like crap about yourself

[sd1223]

*sigh* I don’t know I just feel what I feel but I’m trying to make sense of everything he’s told me.
Funny thing he texted to say he didn’t want to have the same deep convo and we ended up having again because of him.
I asked him why did he bring it up again but he just read it and didn’t say anything.

[kylee2437]

Lies aren’t supposed to make sense, that’s why you are sitting here trying to piece things together even though it’s been two years.

[sd1223]

Yeah that’s true. He keeps telling me if I listen things will be better between us. Not really sure what that means I may ask him in person. I just don’t really know how to feel anymore.

[sd1223]

Want to know what’s funny? The same thing he’s telling me not to do which is pine after him even though he doesn’t want me, he’s doing the same thing with someone else, he said the girl isn’t really as into him or loves him like he does her.

[kylee2437]

Listening to him clearly didn’t work the couple times around so I’m not quite sure why he expects you to listen and comprehend what he is expressing when all he is expressing is lies

[sd1223]

Exactly. I’m not sure what he means by that or why he keeps saying it. I don’t see how I listen sometimes and sometimes not. All I can do is ask and see what he says.

[sd1223]

He said at one point he would make me his girl but I aggravate him with some of the things that I do.

[sd1223]

But I do want to say this last thing. He told me that he had something lined up in 2022 but he ended up coming back to me. He could’ve left me in last year but didn’t.

Then earlier in the night he told me another girl can’t give him what I give him, we were talking about a sexual encounter at the time. I feel like he same some kind of bipolar disorder or something. Like he’s passive and sweet one minute and then aggressive the next minute.

[JPresidente]

He's an FBoy so he just enjoys sleeping around and having sex with different women. He's not gonna have any feelings for you unfortunately. He'll continue using you as long as you allow it. You won't be able to change him.

[bowenw]

He may just see you as a friend with benefits. Did he say if the feelings he has are emotional or physical?

[sd1223]

He said the feelings he has for me are lust. He has sex with me for the feeling. I asked him if I’m the only girl he gets sex from and he said no.
If I aggravate him and frustrate him so much then why does he want to keep meeting up with me?
We spent out first night together Friday night and he said he did it because of me it’s something I’ve always wanted to do with him

[bowenw]

He may be able to get past any aggravation he has when he is feeling lustful.

[sd1223]

So why do something for me when he just lust for me? He’s trying to make it seem like he doesn’t mess with me like that or wants nothing to do with me but yet and still he goes and does something like that.

When we were talking yesterday I felt like he was on some bipolar stuff and then he’s denied feeling any kind of feelings from previous convos we’ve had.

[sd1223]

He even told me he explains stuff to me and that’s something he never got from anyone else before he just got cut off.

[bowenw]

It does seem like he could be bipolar if he says he has feelings for you some of the time but then is aggravated by you at other times. He may just be very emotional and has wide mood swings.

[sd1223]

Like literally the afternoon before I went and picked him up to stay with me, he called end out of the blue I answered and he asked me what I was doing. I told him getting ready to go to work and he said he called me because he wanted to hear my voice, and called me babe or bae in the process but when I picked up on it he was acting like he didn’t say it. But who says or stuff like that to someone they don’t particularly like or love?

[sd1223]

I thought a guy going out of his way for you or doing something for you was a good sign. I had been asking for him to spend the night and he finally did and he said it was for me.

[bowenw]

Those are normally signs that a guy is into you, but if he's a player he may just say them to get you into bed.

[sd1223]

You’re right and maybe that’s what it is cuz somethings I recalled to him that he said he claimed not to remember or said he didn’t say.
But one more point I do want to make, before we left to take him back home, he said that he could’ve left me in 2022 because he had something set up don’t know what the something is but he said he didn’t and came back to me. If that’s not an expression of some sort of feelings coming from his end I don't know what is.

[bowenw]

That seems like something a guy may say so you believe he has other options, and that he's doing you a favor. You are welcome to PM if you wish.

[sd1223]

Sure can PM

[sd1223]

Sent a PM

[Summeroflove]

He’s using you for sex and you’re probably gonna get a STD

[sd1223]

We have protected sex so I’m good on that

[Summeroflove]

You’ll find out probably soon enough. Must feel good to be used as a sex object.

[sd1223]

Just get off of my question I don’t have anything. If I were to have it I would’ve been known. We’ve been at this for 2 years.

[Summeroflove]

You asked the question. Lol. Don’t ask if you don’t want answers

[Summeroflove]

He’s obviously using you…..

[sd1223]

The part about the stds was unnecessary though that’s what my issue with your answer was

[Summeroflove]

Well….. maybe if you don’t wanna be used as well as get STD’s because condoms don’t stop everything and he’s banging tons of women….

But you’re just as bad so. You’re obviously consenting to it

[sd1223]

Just shut up already, you only know what I’ve told you, I don’t have an STD I know what I’ve been dealing with that’s it that’s all

[sd1223]

You’re blocked so stop commenting

[Anonymous]

Because you're stupid enough to put out and he takes advantage of that

[sd1223]

Thank you for the answer but don’t need to be called stupid either that’s unnecessary