What to do when a boyfriend feels pressured by me expectations?

[Anonymous]

I love my boyfriend and i want us to live together some day. He is afraid of that because of his past experiences and says he feels pressured by my expectation.. He has been really distant for the past few weeks, we barely even talk and he isn't even trying to find a way to fix this. Thoughts?

[Dav1dTh0ma3]

That's just it, you're thinking out 100 years from now, when he just wants to live in the present. It sounds like your "ideologies" just don't mesh. I have cousins who divorced over "not wanting kids"

[Asker]

But i don't plan anything yet. That's just me telling him how i see this relationship in the future

[Dav1dTh0ma3]

Hun, your two sentences just completely negated each other. You said you "don't plan" bu its "just me telling him what i want for the future"
You know exactly that you want to be with him in the future, while he just wants to live in the present

Like I said, I have cousins who got divorced because one didn't want kids, and the other did. This relationship is not going to work, I guarantee it

[Asker]

There's a difference between telling what i expect from the relationship and planning. Just because i expect this to happen some day doesn't mean i am already planning it

[Dav1dTh0ma3]

No. If you have expectations, you're going to plan it. I guarantee it

[Asker]

Maybe some day i will plan it. But for now it's nothing more than my point of view

[spartan55]

I wouldn't like what you are doing either, and I don't even have a bad relationship history.

[Guy13]

Expectations are good depends upon details.

[Iron_Man]

He needs to get over it

[Asker]

And what should I do during this time

[Dav1dTh0ma3]

No, he doesn't. It is two completely different ideologies. The relationship is not going to last. If it does, it won't be a good one

[Iron_Man]

@Dav1dTh0ma3 what?

[Dav1dTh0ma3]

The relationship is a bad one. It's not going to last. If it does, it'll be a poor one

[Iron_Man]

@Dav1dTh0ma3 she didn’t even explain it hardly how do you know it’s a bad one how do you know he won’t recover how do you know if she’s not the chosen one for him

[Asker]

the thing is , i was just sharing a thought about how i see us together in the future to make sure we are on the same page. and to him it's scary because of his past experiences.

[In_Trance]

Lower your expectations