How do you stop a man from pursuing you when you’re fairly sure he’s too mentally unwell to consent to be with you?

[Anonymous]

My intentions were good when I fell for this guy. I fell in love, not realising how unwell he was. So once I realised, I backed off and moved on. Now he keeps showing up where I am and he said he won’t give up until he gets me. I think this is not good, so I keep ignoring him. But he keeps persisting. I think having a relationship, he’s probably not fit to consent. So I want him to stop but I don’t feel threatened.

[Curmudgeon]

Either 1. Change your phone number and your usual "hangout" locations for as long as it takes, or 2. Tell him bluntly you don't think it will work out. Be prepared for him to have an angry outburst, since you did initially lead him on, even if you did not mean to do that.

[Asker]

I didn’t mean to. I didn’t realise how sick he was. I told him it wouldn’t work out and then he started chasing me.

[Curmudgeon]

Just curious, but how sick is sick? And is "sick" really just "wounded", "damaged", or "carrying baggage"? if it is the latter, well, those can heal, get repaired, or be unpacked with time.

[Asker]

Mentally ill

[kylee2437]

@asker I don’t recommend you to outright tell him you aren’t interested. If he is stalking , he is potentially dangerous. Just call the police

[Asker]

Police said there’s insufficient evidence

[kylee2437]

@asker go to the police station and make a paper trail. Next time he shows up anywhere call the police.

[Curmudgeon]

@kylee2437 You have a point. If he's batguano crazy, Asker should take many more precautions.

[kylee2437]

So if it gets to the point where he’s showing up places , then you have a right to call the police and say he’s stalking you