Boyfriend avoids being intimate, why?

[Anonymous]

boyfriend and I have been on and off for about 2 years now (relationship), talked dated 2 years before that.

About a year ago we broke up due to me finding out he had a long time affair plus sleeping around.

But I decided to give him another chance as he is my first love. Now have been together for about 8 months.

We moved in together. About 2 months ago he stopped any sexual advances towards me and it's making me very insecure.

I've talked to him about it but he denies that there's lack of intimacy. While he never starts anything and also rejects me if I try to (I've started initiating as he first claimed I never initiate anything).

I don't think he's cheating as he doesn't really know anyone around here, he's mainly either at home or at work (last workplace he had, he slept with his co-worker, cheated on me tho)

I know his phone pin so I don't think he's hiding anything on his phone either...

What could be causing this behaviour? Is there any other explanation other than he doesn't find me attractive anymore?

He did also claim that he feels the most secure in our relationship rn and feels as if it's going well.. but I just feel that something's off.

[thnderskiies]

This could be due to various reasons: stress, cheating, depression or he may just no longer be attracted to you. Have you tried discussing this with him?

If there's no emotional or physical intimacy & he keeps brushing you off it's time to consider leaving.

[thnderskiies]

I mean if he refuses to talk about it, maybe it's time to move on, for your own good

[Asker]

I've tried discussing it on various occasions and he claims he's attracted to me (only complimenting me if I express that I feel ugly that day or smth).
He said he feels like the relationship is more stable than ever and he sees a future with me.

But it doesn't feel like it tbf.
Also he gets upset if I help myself out but he doesn't wanna do anything with me :/

[thnderskiies]

Uh oh this doesn't sound good at all. You should try one last time to talk with him and have serious discussion about the future of your relationship. If he refuses to change and continue the same behavior, maybe it's time to part separate ways with him

[NamerOfStars]

Hmm... short of losing interest or stress or some other related issue, might it be guilt? Have you tried initiating non-sexual forms of physical intimacy? If so, how has he responded?

[Asker]

Yes, such as kisses, hugs, cuddles. He doesn't initiate any of those either, sadly.

I have to ask for them and go to him. Whenever he's not right next to me he'd say "If you want a hug come here then". Kind of monotone-ish sounding.

[NamerOfStars]

Yeah, that sounds like he's pretty definitively losing interest.

[CharlieDMX]

Only he knows what is happening with him and he is denying the problem. It's time to leave, girl

[Fuentes]

Have u ever noticed if he has been suffering with maybe a Form of ED? Maybe that's why he had pulled back maybe embarrassed about it or maybe he's just been way to tired to get it up. He may just lack energy or something

[Asker]

Honestly he has no issues with that. Other than being intimate he's also not that touchy or.. romantic (?). He used to be.

It feels like we're roommates. Would be nice if he kissed me once in a while without me asking for it :/

It sounds so bad. We do have good moments but it almost feels like just a friendship now.

[Fuentes]

Well he had an affair before so I don't know he may just not be trustworthy I would look through his stuff and watch him close cause he may or may not cheating or something but if he isn't then maybe he feels like y'all grown apart but it's weird he wouldn't come out and just tell you that

[Anonymous]

Some men make lousy lovers.

[Asker]

He's my first partner and he claimed that "love mellows" when I brought up us not being romantic or sexual anymore.. sounds like bs to me

[In_Trance]

You need to have a conversation with him