Is sending a shirtless photo a red flag?

[Anonymous]

I matched with someone else on a dating app. First day into talking he sent me a shirtless photo of himself.

For context we were talking about sports but the photo was really uncalled for LOL.

Is this a red flag? Shall I just ghost? Cause I’m looking for a respectful man and I want something serious.

Updates

+1 y

It gave me the impression that he’s not serious and looking for a hook up!

[Lionman95]

So is he fit or obese? Because if it´s the first I´d rather consider that as a behavior of bragging. He wants to show off his achievements and wants you to know that he´s not just talking about working out.
It could be meant as a statement that his actions and words fit together but I wouldn´t take it too serious either because it could be that he had no second thoughts behind sending you this pic.
I wouldn´t take it as a redflag unless it´s a complete nude picture or in anyways sexual context.

[Asker]

He was neither! Just very average. Tbh didn’t look like he works out at all 😂😂😂

[Lionman95]

Then he´s probably just showing off his self confident

[Asker]

Oh gosh

[Fireguy17]

It might be, at least he didn't ask you for a shirtless photo as well, at least yet.
He might be someone that goes to the gym, does 1 round of anything and then looks at himself in the mirror and flexes.
I do not ever remember sending any of my past girlfriends a shirtless photo of myself.

[Asker]

Loool... I mean if that were my boyfriend, I'd love to see it. I'd want to see one every day :) But if I just started speaking to you... that's weird.

[Fireguy17]

that is true.

[EmmaMary]

Personally I would consider this a little too much too fast, and would be asking him the purpose of sending such a photo.

Depending on his response (if there is one) would then make me consider the next move.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[LazerBean]

It definitely would be for me.

[TonyMetal___86]

If he ain't fat or having a dad bod than he shouldn't send a shirtless picture, only a chubby or fat guy like me can posy shirtless photo to let the others know that if i feel hungry they become my snack and will spend their lives in my tummy 🤣🤣

Don't know if it's a red flag but a guy shouldn't post a shirtless photo of himself to a girl from the 1st time they talk...

No need for it, this ain't magic mike 😂😂

[Asker]

No need for it at all!!! And by the way it wasn’t like he was showing off abs or anything…he had a very normal body. He wasn’t big but he wasn’t fit either lol

[TonyMetal___86]

He lost, ain't allowed to see the magical rapunzel's hair 😄

[Asker]

Haha😂😂😂

[OfMiceandMen]

The fact, he sent you a shirtless photo the first day should tell you he really isn't into getting to know you. Something like that should happen way down the road when you trust each other.

If you're not planning to contact him again, you could have some fun and send a shirtless guy photo back, and say..."when can we hook up?"

[spartan55]

You sure can pick em. That guy did you a favor, tipping his hand right away what he was after. What a douche.

[Asker]

Haha! It just seems f boys are everywhere these days

[AmeerX]

I find it weird and I even called a girl on her sending me a boobs revealing photos and she apologized.

So, yes it's not a good idea to do so

[Asker]

She did that randomly?

[AmeerX]

Yeah 🙄

[Asker]

Damn

[exitseven]

I would think it was a red flag. . Was he at least hot?

[Asker]

Meh. Not really. I think he is but the photo wasn’t very flattering 🤣

[KostasKouvalis]

He was trying to seduce you. But I can see it as red flaggy if it was unsolicited

[KostasKouvalis]

Update: He may very well have been

[Asker]

Yes!

[KostasKouvalis]

You want some advice? Looking at your posts you seem "desperate". I don't mean that in a bad way, but desperation never leads to anything good. And I've noticed that the more you deliberately seek out something, then less likely you are to get it. The best things come when you least expect it, when you don't think about them and just let things flow naturally.
Why do you want a boyfriend so bad? And is it really that hard to meet men in person where you live?

[Asker]

I do share a lot of my personal life on here because in real life I’m extremely private! So it comes off that way haha.

I do have men hitting on me in real life but I want to get married and I’m very specific about what kind of guy I want to be with. (I actually have standards). I don’t seem to come across men like that in my every day life.

[KostasKouvalis]

You sound like me kind of. Though I have gotten much more open in real life, but will probably stop.
Oh, I see. That makes sense. When you start getting serious about marriage, your standards become higher. I'm like you in a way. There are some things I'm not that strict on, but I need a good quality girl, so there are a lot of things I won't comprise on either. lol I agree when you have high standards it becomes harder to find "the perfect partner", especially when you're looking for quality "marriage material".

[Asker]

Do you find it hard to open up to the people around you? Personally I feel like I will get judged and just overall uncomfortable with it.

Yes exactly what I mean…. I’m 25 now lol. I have the intention to find a real partner and I feel like I need to put some effort in to do so. But also it will happen when its gonna happen - like what you said :)

[KostasKouvalis]

A little bit, yes. Online I think it's easier.
That's a good point, but online probably isn't the place. Then again, online it's much easier to find like minded people and initiate a conversation. . But if it's long distance, that rarely works out.

I don't know how dating culture is in the UK, but in the US you're supposed to ask strangers out on a date and THEN get to know them, and I personally don't like that. It's no wonder so many marriages/relationships in the US fail. But at the same time, I always hear it's damn near impossible to get out of the friendzone once you're in it, but in my opinion that's how it should be done. Romantic feelings should develop out of a close friendship.

Another issue is, you're 25 and I'm 30 actually, and I feel at our age it's damn near impossible to find singles

[Asker]

I’d be too scared to go on a date with a stranger. I’ve been in situations where I’ve met very creepy men so I always wanna make sure I’m meeting someone who’s quite normal!!

Hmmmm…there’s a lot of single guys I guess. Maybe there’s not many single girls?

[KostasKouvalis]

Exactly. Sure as hell doesn't seem like it, especially not ones that meat MY standards. Intelligent people have harder time finding a partner, because they won't settle for just anyone. And yeah, literally all the girls I'm interested in in real life always end up being taken. Taken or gay. LOL
Only the weird and crazy girls like me

[Asker]

Haha what makes them weird/crazy?

[KostasKouvalis]

I've had a few sociopaths. I've been cyber stalked, slandered, threatened with death. The other ones just had a weird personality and behavior.

[Asker]

Omg that sounds awful…definitely wasn’t expecting that

[KostasKouvalis]

I wasn't either. I'm curious what your ex did do you, but you don't have to if you don't feel comfortable

[Asker]

Depends on which ex were talking about here?

[KostasKouvalis]

Oh, there's more than one?

[Asker]

Yeah 😂😂 there’s like 5

[Asker]

Some are serious some aren’t

[KostasKouvalis]

5, holy shit! 😲 So you HAVE dated a little. I was thinking of the one you said betrayed you in the worst possible way.

[Asker]

Looooool... I dated like 2 when I was younger it wasn't very serious.
I've been in 3 serious relationships though. But the one that betrayed me in the worst possible way tops it off. Honestly, he gets an award for being the WORST one of them all. He cheated on me throughout the entire relationship, and it wasn't like a one time thing, he was in an entirely other relationship the whole time.

[KostasKouvalis]

That really sucks. I wonder if he was polygamous and the other girls thought he was genuinely dating them as well

[Asker]

I spoke to the girl. She didn’t know about me…what’s worse is she’s with him still and this was 3 years ago

[Asker]

by the way he was very serious. He met my family and I met his etc. he would text me while his girlfriend was asleep next to him at night. It was very messed up

[KostasKouvalis]

WTF? That is fucked up!

[Asker]

Yeah totally! 😭

[KostasKouvalis]

One of my friends in college said her friend had to two boyfriends

[Asker]

Some people are so weird…. Imagine keeping up with 2 boyfriends

[KostasKouvalis]

Yeah, when I heard that I was thinking like, WTF? And I don't think it was polyamory or anything, she was just seeing both of them without the other knowing. That is messed up on so many levels. Maybe she genuinely loved both of them, but still that's just messy. Some people are weird.

[Asker]

I will never understand how you can “love” two or more people at the same time lol. Just sounds narcissistic to me.

[Andres77]

he’s a guy. Of course he’s looking for a hookup

[Asker]

Some guys would be looking for relationships?

[Andres77]

A decent guy would be more interested in getting to know you than trying to seduce you

[Asker]

Yup so he’s not decent lol

[Andres77]

His priority is to make you swoon with his carnal assets 😉

[Asker]

Oh dear

[loveslongnails]

It's certainly got narcissistic leanings. What does your gut tell you?

[Asker]

My gut tells me he’s a creep

[loveslongnails]

Then you know what to do... problem solved! NEXT !!

[Asker]

Thank you, next nextttt (the song) haha

[cloud9vortex1234]

Depends on what Dating App it is. I mean he could have sent a picture of his cock so you should be happy.

[Asker]

Oh gosh

[cloud9vortex1234]

That's actually a Big Problem women have on Dating Apps from perverts. They will just send the photo without the women asking first. I'm not sure if you knew.

[Asker]

I didn't but now I'll be on alert

[PatriceONeal]

If that's the case why would you ask stranger son the internet. To change your mind? Either have self respect or don't. Up to you.

[Asker]

I take that as a yes. That’s a red flag.

[PatriceONeal]

It's a red flag for you both.

[RandomGuy1030]

Amazingly in 100 years we went from girls meeting guys via their family and family's approval, to girls finding guys on dating apps.

[Asker]

Sigh that’s life

[RandomGuy1030]

Via pictures and text messages. Fucked up. Put females back in the kitchen.

[RandomGuy1030]

I dont hate but I don't approve either. The world was better when men were in charge. Even if you felt like you lacked power.

[RandomGuy1030]

In the 70s and 80s, girls went to college to get married. They didn't realize Mr Right isn't about to marry a college slut. That's why marriages happen at 30 now and not 20. Men realized enough 20 year old females are sluts that it's too risky to commit.

[Asker]

Loooool are you sure you're not my ex?

[RandomGuy1030]

If your ex is anything like Me, you should have held onto him.

[Asker]

I did but then it got out of hand

[RandomGuy1030]

He sounds like he had traumas to work through.

[Asker]

Yeah he did. I was there for him as much as I could but there’s only so much I can do

[RandomGuy1030]

I know. The only thing you can do is give him space and let him mature.

[Asker]

Yeah we broke up in the summer last year. I know he loved me and I won’t ever hate him. But I wish him the best. I see beyond what he shows the world.

[RealMarek]

Yes. There are other guys who won’t do this. You don’t want a relationship to begin with behavior that you don’t like.

[lightbulb27]

id probably give another chance, but it's a flag.

[bowenw]

It he didn't first ask your permission to send the pic I would say it's a red flag.

[JPresidente]

Might be a red flag or he just wanted to show off. I'd say give him one more chance.

[Shamalien]

If a girl sent me a bra photo first meeting she’d be considered “not gf” material soooo

[bananathunder]

I don't know... maybe he's proud of his nips? lol

[bananathunder]

probably looking for a hookup. that's all people seem to be looking for anymore

[Part2603]

Lol, what happened to the other guy?

[Asker]

He’s still here…. nothing new lol

[Anonymous]

It depends, if you are looking for a serious relationship I would say so. But if you want a hook up no.

[Anonymous]

If you are looking for a serious relationship, then yes.

[Ryfyle]

" Cause I’m looking for a respectful man and I want something serious. "
You say that now, but sooner or later you're going to get bored.

[20yearsolder]

Go with your gut. Our opinions don't matter

[Anonymous]

For me, that is an instant block.

[TallAnon]

To me it would indicate he just wants to fuck

[Alex8736]

definitely a red flag

[standardguy]

well that can be okay

[roy_ricky09]

If it is to you