Fiance says other girls are hot to his bestfriend?

[Anonymous]

My heart is breaking right now, my bestfriend just admitted him and his bestfriend say other girls are hot etc when their out together at a pub or something, I worry because his friend is disrespectful as fuck, one Halloween had we had a party, my fiancé's best friend said some stuff he shouldn't have towards my girl best friend he had never met before and I know he's sexist in general too, ( he said he wants to fuck her etc whilst his fiance was a room away, she didn't hear though) but I find it extremely disrespectful

Anyways, my fiance said it was bad of his best friend and it was confirmed he didn't say anything back ( a guy friend was there when he heard them talking about it, i feel like he didn't say anything because he knew my friend would tell me) I bring it tonight and he basically admitted if his best friend said he saw a hot girl etc he would agree if he found her hot and would they would probably say all things under the sun about girls together whilst I'm not there..

When personally, I could never be like that or think that whilst I'm engaged and with him as all my love and feelings are towards him, its breaking my heart knowing him and his friend probably goes to pub and talks about other hot girls and checks them out

Updates

1 y

My fiance just admitted*

[DizzyDesii]

Its not surprising he does it but it is disrespectful and very dumb for him to admit it so happily. It doesn't make you insecure like some claim. IT just means you should be cautious of his wandering eye. I personally couldnt trust him in the long run. I look at dudes but i wouldn't be dumb enough to do it or say it around whoever i date. And i certainly dont think things like “Ooh i’d fck him”. Just a simple damn he's hot. Bt i’d emind myself im not single and it does no good to look at him

[Anonymous]

Trust me other men check out women all the time. If you don’t think so then you’re living in a fantasy world. I’m not saying it’s right, that’s just how it is. Trust me if I could turn that part of my brain off from all this temptation I would cause things would be a lot simpler, but I can’t. Maybe he shouldn’t be so obvious about it is all I can really say. If you think about it, the day, birds of a feather flock together. Meaning your fiancé was already like that before he met his friend, they just found each other because they were the same. Trust me there’s a lot of women I’d bang if I was single, the difference is I don’t act on it. You can’t tell me you don’t find someone else attractive? Maybe a movie star? It’s been said that a large majority of women have a backup man. I’m sure some men do as well. I say some because in most situations a girl can easily run to another man and he’d be w her, for men, doesn’t always work like that.

[Adam1978]

Why do he spend time at the pub, when he got a girl is the first sign you aren't good enough. Secondly guys will see and think other girls are hot, but they won't act on it if they have a good relationship. So be realistic in your expectations. Silence isn't an confirmation, it's a rejection without confrontation. Plenty of guys had dumb friends blurting out stupid shit, instead of making it an argument we just don't encourage it with a comment.

[kylee2437]

Why shouldn’t he think other women are not just because he’s with you? You set this expectation where you can’t find anyone else attractive and girl, you have eyes you are allowed to find others hot, that doesn’t mean you should act on that however. Finding other people hot doesn’t mean you would be cheating. So in my opinion? You need to come to terms that thinking your partner can be the ONLY hot person on earth is unhealthy. Now that doesn’t mean he should be looking at other women while he is with you, but trust me just allow him to be a guy.

[kylee2437]

Hot**

[Asker]

Why do women have to excuse bad behaviour just because their a man? Like for real, he can find others attractive yes but talking about it and shit I find so disrespectful

[Asker]

I don't, why can't he? Its not hard

[Asker]

Like I'm imagining my fiance sat at a table with his bestfriend discussing how he'd fuck another girl, if I was there I'd break up with him, why is it ok to say things like this when I'm not there

[kylee2437]

@Cutiegirl23 he gave you the truth of the situation. Letting insecurities take over doesn’t reverse the reality that he will still feel attracted to other women either way.

[kylee2437]

@Cutiegirl23 why isn’t he allowed to fuck other people if he isn’t with you. So I just read a post that said “love is about appreciation, not possession” I think more people need to start really understanding the idea behind that quote

[kylee2437]

Side note, you remind me of my abusive ex. He used to start arguments with me regarding the same stuff. You need to stop before you end up being a super abusive partner

[Asker]

I can't actually believe you find it normal, sorry but your partner had the right to be upset if you were saying you wanted to fuck other guys whilst you were with him, its so disrespectful and shows lack of integrity, juat be single if you can't hold your tongue and don't respect your relationship enough to not say shit like that.. its really not hard and the bare minimum. I don't say things like this because I respect and love my partner, why is it OK for him to discuss wanting to fuck another girl etc whilst he's engaged to me? Not asking for much lmao, so I'm just supposed to be ok knowing my fiance says shit like this, then comes home and sleeps with me after saying he wants to fuck other women lol

[kylee2437]

@cutegirl23 you escalating the situation because people are calling you out for being wrong about what you originally wrote shows that you aren’t trying to be open minded and are possessive towards you partner. If he openly admitted to wanting to fuck other women, there would be no shape or form you would openly stay with someone like that. You just think that your man isn’t allowed to talk about other women because of YOUR own insecurities. And more importantly, the fact that you haven’t had open discussion to him regarding such topics after 8 years of being together shows distinctive lack of communication going on

[kylee2437]

@cutegirl23 and side note, I am currently single because I’d rather be single than be with someone that lashes out on me because I can at least admit that I find other people attractive.

[Asker]

I'm drunk and it's 7am here haven't had much sleep, I should have put he would be speaking about fucking other women etc, I mean its kind of obvious too if they say their hot and speaking about women obviously their going to talk about wanting to fuck them lol.. finding other women hot is alright, he checks them out often in front of me, however speaking about fucking other women breaks my heart and I've been up all night after the conversation we had last night, and you're right there is a lack of communication but I tried to convince myself my partner wasn't like this

[kylee2437]

So maybe he isn’t the right person to be with. But again, projecting insecure and possessive behaviors onto him instead of just leaving is abusive

[Asker]

Also I got passive aggressive because you said I remind you of your abusive ex, like girl you have no idea what I've been through, I don't do shit and ask for the bare minimum, then my man is talking about wanting to fuck other women then coming home to me 😓 I should have put that but thought finding other women hot and wanting to fuck them is pretty much the same Anyways

[Asker]

It isn't projecting, he's doing something that isn't OK lol

[kylee2437]

@Cutiegirl23 you had 8 years to communicate your feelings towards that though. If he can’t get the hang on to the fact that you aren’t fond of that stuff, then you need to move on.

[Asker]

We broke up for 4 and I always thought about him, he was my first love, we've been together for 2 years again now

[Asker]

I do agree, communication is lacking 😦

[Anonymous]

If the problem is him thinking that other girls are hot. . . do you believe that he is suppose to think that all other girls are homely and unattractive? Being in a relationship doesn't mean nobody else looks attractive. That is not necessary for guys to be faithful, if that is your concern.

[Paris13]

Boz will be boz. But a guy who really Loves You-------Will say that his GIRL is the HOTTEST!!! I would not trust him now... Welcome to Gag Town and Best of Luck. xxoo

[Guy13]

This is an impending train 🚂 wreck waiting to happen.

[Asker]

What do you mean? so you think it's a bad situation?

[Guy13]

Yes it is an obviously bad situation.

[-Mad-]

What if he did say?

whatcha gonna do about it?

[Lynnalove]

Tbh it annoys me too we just have to accept that bc that's how men are biologically wired :(

[Anonymous]

He is a guy. You have to assume he will be looking at other women. I know it is disrespectful, but that is what men do.

[Asker]

Once again, bad behaviour being excused because their a guy

[KrakenAttackin]

Of course the notice and comment about other women, just as you and your friends do. Welcome to reality! Girls like you are so damn clueless.

[noohair]

Men have a caveman brain, you have a cavewoman brain.
And it also sounds like a lot of gossip is going on too.

[spartan55]

Yeah, you've got no business getting married.

[Asker]

So you think it's bad too?

[spartan55]

No, I'm talking about you being so insecure.

[Asker]

I wouldn't say its insecure not wanting my fiance to talk about wanting to fuck other women lol

[Asker]

I don't say shit like that, why can't he. Its disgusting

[Asker]

Why be engaged when you want to fuck other women

[spartan55]

So first you said he was calling them hot, now you've escalated it to something worse. Smh...

[Asker]

I should have worded it better, but yeah he would be saying he wants to fuck other women

[spartan55]

So because his friend said it, he will too? You are being ridiculous.

[spartan55]

Who said he wants to fuck other women?

[Asker]

He admitted it, plus yes because I've heard their conversations lol

[spartan55]

Then why are you with him?

[Asker]

Because I love him, I've known him for 8 years now its hard to get rid of that bond and I'm scared of saying goodbye, this relationship is all I've wanted since I was 16

[spartan55]

Sunken cost fallacy... its not going to end well.

[In_Trance]

smh... toxic femininity

[LimitedBenefits101]

Stop being insecure and jealous

[spitinthewind]

And you want to be with that? Why?

[Keishio]

Grow up