If a man I knew speaks badly of women to other guys, is he not to be trusted?

[Anonymous]

For future references with men in general. This man said most women are sluts, always were and always will be. I’ve seen him brutally romantically reject another woman in person too. This is someone known to me. Can you trust such a man as this with your thoughts, feelings or any kind of intimacy? Or will he go and laugh about you with his boys at the pub?

[quaranta]

I wouldn't trust him, why would he be different with you than with the others? Because he "loves" you? Sure, so what would it happen if you argue with him or break up with him? Yeah. Respect should be given regardless, it's not something you pay by being attractive or committed in a relationship.

The way a person behaves with close people he doesn't have to impress (friends, family) is the way that person will be with you in a long term relationship after the initial phase is gone. So keep observing them in their "wild" status and take your conclusions about who they are.

And if he talks like "all women are slut" it means he is a victimistic person who was hurt by women (maybe cheated on, or not chosen over multiple choices, or leaded on, or women didn't respond to his invasive attempts) and is lowkey waiting to get some revenge on it, while staying closed in his shell. So he probably has high expectations now, as if a new woman in his life will have to "fix" the broken expectations of the past ones, working harder, as if she "owes" him something in the name of the others, which would be mega, mega, toxic. Not granted, but that is what I would assume at first. For example, if he got cheated on and to recover from that he got to think any woman is a slut, I would expect he would be over-controlling and attempting to forbid you to talk with male friends or stuff like that.
I would be spontaneously repulsed by someone who, after getting hurt, responds to that by closing in a shell and generalizing over any woman, instead of working on himself and the reasons behind his lack of success, or at least on getting over it and being able to isolate the case on that "one ex" only.
If he wants to mean women as sluts only, then no women should commit to him romantically at all or to give him any chance in that direction, just use him physically then discard for someone healthier to actually date, if anything.
Plus, he would start a relationship by already breaking its foundations: trust. If he intends to start anything without putting trust in it, he broken its course from the start. And would expect you to fix that, working harder and trusting harder, basically doing his part. Again, just an assumption, but that is what I would think at first without further data.

[quaranta]

Oh and DON'T send him any sexy pic. If you'll ever do that because you have some weird moment of sick weakness, do NOT include your face or any identifiable background by any means. He might love you now, but when it's over that photo might go through all their chats. Or even earlier.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

Seriously? You asked:

Can you trust such a man as this with your thoughts, feelings or any kind of intimacy?

Are you looking to be emotionally and psychologically abused?
Are you looking to be verbally abused, demeaned, debased and insulted routinely?
Are you looking to be made a fool of and laughed about at the local pub?

You are supposedly in your 30s, not 10 years old. At your age you should posses the mental capabilities and experience to understand that people such as this should never be trusted NOT to behave TOWARDS YOU like they BEHAVE towards or about others.

What makes you different that he wouldn't do to you as he's done to others?

[JamesDiaz11]

It sounds like this guy has some serious negative feelings directed toward women- I don't know where this comes from in his case, but in all honesty a woman should be hesitant around such a man.

This is the trouble with being red-pilled (understanding and accepting the dark nature of women, e. g. hypergamy, loyalty, etc.): when you begin to see the dark side of women you start applying this to all women. Women are generally hypergamous, yes, they choose their betters (physically, financially, socially, etc.), but this doesn't mean that every women will only entertain a high value man (and if you're not a high value man that all women will reject you).

Women are survivors, and their love and loyalty are always conditional toward their men, usually reliant on the guy maintaining the image of masculinity, dependability, and financial wellbeing. Marriages often end when a guy either loses his job, or his wife out-earns him. However, this doesn't mean that a woman wouldn't be willing to work with her man through these issues to a degree, or that he couldn't be especially strong in another area that could maintain her respect.

Lastly, women in the West are more promiscuous than they've ever been. They cheat at higher rates than any other women; so, it's smart for a guy to not automatically believe that girls are pure, innocent, and can do no wrong (this doesn't necessarily correlate with believing all women are sluts). They're capricious beings, change their mind, enjoy novelty, etc., BUT if you never trust a woman to be loyal to you, or that you'll find a respectable, moral woman you'll treat a girl who could be this (there are unicorns out there; I found one) in the same way that you would treat the worst of her sex/ gender.

Maturing is developing the wisdom to acknowledge the reality of things, but to understand that everything isn't black and white, there are exceptions (even if the general rule holds true) and that in order to derive happiness from our complement (i. e. women) we have to choose wisely, and conduct ourselves appropriately.

[Guy13]

I would not trust this guy. He sounds like an opportunist that has little empathy for others.

[Anonymous]

What’s the difference between him saying that and a women saying all men are dogs who only think of one thing? Why does it make him any less trust worthy? He got hurt and it’s obvious he got hurt because that is the line of someone who was mistreated by the opposite sex. Who just wants love and support. But ended up with a woman who probably tore his world down around him. Men have feelings too and women have a tendency of weaponizing feelings not all because not every one is the same however it still happens men hurt women and women hurt men causing us to hate each other. Another 1 of many decides we face.

[Opinion Owner]

However I’m just speaking from personal experience. As I’m still learning the value of healing and that my anger isn’t with all women but the individuals who think it’s okay to hurt other people instead of being honest and straightforward. The ones who cheat and lie but then act like all men are trash when I’m reality no one’s better than anyone. We are all flawed and we are all damaged in some way or another.

[xJeremyx]

I generally do not trust people who badmouth other people, and people who are rude/dsirespectful.

If there is something legitimate about something someone else can improve on, ok. Speak your mind. If you just want to hate on other people and it makes you feel "powerful" to be rude to other people, bugger off.

[lightbulb27]

he has issues... you already know the answer. If you want to play his therapist, go ahead.

remember this wisdom "hurt people hurt people".

Let's just guess he has issues with mom and leave it at that...

[chronic22]

You only think he has issues because he talked about what he thought believes if he wouldn't of said anything he wouldn't of had any issues

[lightbulb27]

@chronic22 I just wouldn't be aware that he has issues.
He's angry at women.
Always look to what the emotional energy is driving the communication, that is where the control is.
Realize, he may be right, from his perspective, and so he thinks he is right and the women have issues. He is right about that... many do, some more than others.
It's the knowledge of good and evil...
hope that makes sense...

[OfMiceandMen]

Sounds like Captain Doushoid to me. Best to stear clear of him as he clearly has no respect for women.

[genericname85]

well these guys have been scarred by women... that's what it is. that's why they grow callous. it hink these are the men that had th right values before they got hurt... unfortunate.

[xHoneyxBeex]

Doesn't sound like someone I would put my trust in or want to spend time with.

[EmmaMary]

You certainly keep a lovely circle of "friends"! 😂

[Sixgunsound]

Never disbelieve someone when they show you who they are.

[AdithyaR]

Yeah people in general who talk shit about others behind their backs cannot be trusted. They'd do the same to you when you're not looking.

[Chad345]

I'm sorry, but he sounds cruel. I wouldn't trust him.

[Anonymous]

Any man worth his salt knows to keep the trash talk about women on the DL. If you found about it, that's a problem

[Subarugirl]

I sure as hell wouldn't trust him. If thats what he thinks than he should stay single

[Randalama]

That's certainly a red flag, if he's not accurate.

[In_Trance]

if he's being that honest, why would you not trust him?

[sunflower00]

I would not trust him

[DarkLegacy]

All i know is what he says is true.

[LazerBean]

Definitely not.

[Anonymous]

depends on how much the guy has been hurt before

[Fat_Jon]

Yeah right. Blame the women (again). This guy would have been a saint, if only women hadn't dumped him for being a complete tosser.

Most men spend a lot of spare time watching porn (the web statistics will prove it). Porn usually involves men dominating and controlling women. The problem is that these men then want their women to be like those in the porn films, submissive and weak.

When a woman says "I will wear what I like, eat what I like, have my hair how I like, and do what I like - take it or leave it" those porn watchers hate it, so their only revenge is to speak badly of women to other guys.

[chronic22]

Big deal he doesn't wanna bang every female he meets seems like you want to bang him

[Asker]

I didn’t want to ‘bang him;’ as you so crudely suggested. I was in love with him and I wanted a real relationship. So much more than just sex. I’m an attractive woman. I don’t have to work hard to get free sex from attractive men if that’s all I wanted.

[chronic22]

You hated on him as if he's the bad guy because you want him and I knew that. People always have a reason why they do things and you added a few things to try to hide why you really wanted the answer.

[chronic22]

But to answer your question he might just be doing that to fit in you spoke about the pub maybe he doesn't have anything in common with the other dudes so he hates on females and call them names to fit in and have a good time with the dudes he might just be a big softie on the inside and is afraid to appear weak In front of his buddies and knows if he started banging girls dating them his buddies would talk about him and he wouldn't be hanging out with his buddies at the pub

[chronic22]

In other words he has friends because he talks about females that way and his buddies like that about him and if he went back on that he wouldn't have any friends

[chronic22]

To date him act like him and hang out with his buddies join them and when they have all had fun with you and really like you that's when you can ask him to be your boyfriend

[chronic22]

But as long as the buddies just see you as some slut your not gonna date him

[Asker]

No I didn’t. I’m confused by him.

[Asker]

That’s all really offensive and no one sees me as some slut.

[chronic22]

Apparently you think your friend does since your too scared to ask him out

[Asker]

I asked him out years ago. So I wasn’t too scared to ask him out. He said no. I accepted it. Now I’m confused by the behaviour.

[LovingJo]

💯 Yes