Why do men go dead cold after getting their heart broken? Don't they heal?

Question

MarkHrdman · Accepted Answer

Have you ever heard the experession ice queen.

A stone cold heartless bitch. Thats not the same as a male.

Some wounds live a scare. Enough wounds damage someone...

But your problem is thinking a man is like a woman. Which they aren't.

So asking why someone is hurt is something you already know the answer too.

Wanting to know why a man isn't like a woman is something you now know the answer too.

here's something you dont understand, without closure it can be difficult to move on and with no one else to talk to about being able to talk to the person to get closure from, then it is pointless, just like all other effort being meaningless, hence your term for being dead inside but I've got news for you the world is dead inside to different people, so just because youve seen a ray of sunshine and hope in someone doesn't mean that anything else can reverse what has happened to cause the instance which caused them to change.

People can change. In general people dont for someone to have, you shouldn't have any expectations of someone to suddenly react differently but wounds mend over time but it doesn't change circumstances. there's somethings you can't change no matter what you do but there are things you can do. The question is, if you're really listening to whats going on, rather then avoiding it to look at another avenue to get what you want because you have to remember that this is not about you or potentually you're the person who as caused the problem but lets just consider that its not your fault because you're not the one who caused the situation to be asking about what you can do for someone who you're not responsible for causing the problem with.

Pegases · Accepted Answer

Something not spoken on enough, is how savagely manipulative women can be. Women often dont realize how many women unsuspecting men encounter women that are cold and broken narcissists, and often downplay the fact that we too can be hurt by women. As if we don't have emotions as well. The difference is men rarely have outlets to express genuine emotion, because our society demonizes men for having emotions, while also claiming men should be more open with our emotions, which further drives men to eventually opt to keep them to ourselves. Women aren't better at managing emotions in my experience, in fact most women are just as bad, its just that it's socially acceptable for women to express them. So this idea that women have it all together emotionally is a fallacy. Men do indeed need more outlets to express human emotions, but society deosnt work that way, and it's imperative for every man to understand that in order to protect his peace. Therapy is they key, and every man's best friend. Don't allow women to change who you are.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I really hate generalizing, but I must admit that it feels like men really get more hurt and heal slower then women... I don't know why is that, maybe because women are more tolerant to physical pain and can multitask better? I know when my heart is broken I am completely devestated and feel like dying, but kind of accept that feeling as something I will carry 24/7 for some time now, like a cancer, and continue with my daily tasks anyway like a robot because I have to survive the day somehow. One time I ended up in a hospital because I was crying for like 6 days non-stop and dehydrated, lol. But almost every time after I get out of that state and heal, the feeling is very empowering; like making me stronger for next battle! It's sort of an adrenaline rush. I don't think men get this empowering feeling after they heal, what I see mostly they end up damaged and with trauma and avoiding anything that even resembles the past experience. They think "same shit, different person" even though they are very, very wrong. And they are actually not healed with that kind of thinking, the only way to heal is to think "different shit, different person".

Tina19 · Accepted Answer

What i have noticed personally around me is that men take lot of time to heal from heart break and find it very difficult to trust someone again because they don't want to go through the emotional pain again in life as men are not allowed to speak and share about their emotions so they suffer by themselves whereas females can still talk about it without any fear of being called emotional or weak person however exceptional cases are always there

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Everyone heals differently, but that doesn't mean they forget how they were treated. My last relationship legitimately changed me as aperson. The only reason I got anything good out of it was because I made the intentional choice to.

A woman you trusted doing a 180 on you and deciding that you're her enemy fucks with your mind.

cunnilinguist · Answer

It's a natural defence mechanism. Something hurts you, you learn to avoid it. It's a bit like touching the hot stove. Yes you do heal, but then you why would you touch it again if you know what will happen will hurt you? Once we learn what the nature of the female principle is we avoid it like hell, unless the payoff is temporarily more favorable. But we know it never ends well. That game has been played for thousands of years by billions of players. We know how it goes, no need to fall victim. We are intelligent, we can learn from the mistakes of others.

Yet for some reason we seem to be endowed with a fallacy called hope, making ourselves think that this time it will be different, or I can do what no others could. I will be more tolerant. I will love more.

At the end of the day it's just a journey of self-discovery, just like everything else in life. What does Agent Smith say in the Matrix? "... as a species, human beings define their reality through misery and suffering." Ain't that true though?

Anonymous · Answer

We don't handle feelings the way women do. Women look at love as a cup that constantly needs to be refilled. Through whatever she deems be it acts, words, etc. Men on the other hand generally look at love as a light switch. And that light switch is either off or on. And when she flips it off in our mind depending what she did to flip it off might mean it doesn't come back on. That DOESN'T mean he doesn't love you anymore or isn't capable of loving you anymore. It just means he forced not to for his own protection.

I've said many times I still care about every woman I've ever loved. I don't know own how you can just stop caring about someone. When they're in my heart they're in there forever. Butif we're not together anymore I have to turn that switch off for my own protection.

I'm not sure if what I'm saying is translating to you. It basically comes down to trust. You may still care about them, but you just can't afford to trust them, to give then your heart anymore.

Anonymous · Answer

Here's the thing -- I think girls and women assume guys and men have it easier. Each gender has its difficulties in life. But I will be blunt, I hate modern day feminism, it is ideologies are toxic. I don't hate women, it's okay to hate an ideology. Just because I live in the west doesn't mean I support war crimes for the sake of capitalism. If a man gets divorced, the courts will be against it and favour the woman if she initiated the divorce, the problems. A guy or man can lose everything he worked hard for and women are emotional creatures. Nowadays, women and girls want to sell their body online for money. The same way women knit picked guys who cheat or act like players, women won't take accountability, they call it liberating. Women at least have options. A girl can be 250 pounds and 1 or 2 on the looks scale and still get DMs from dudes compared to a guy who's a 7, has a good job, his own place, funny, independent, etc. We guys are tired of the numerous rejects, to be viewed as sickos, freaks and assholes labelled by women 24/7. I've been ghosted by girls and now i'm just numb to girls doing stupid shit, I don't care anymore. The days of pursuing girls with genuine interest for a relationship with 1 person and let that relationship blossom is over. I lost my faith with women, again this is not hate it's how I feel towards them.

Guy13 · Answer

When a Man’s heart leaps the emotional chasm and participates, we attach in a way that the women can not understand as she does Emotion easily.

Men are crushed plus our tendency is to avoid while moving forward leaving us as “Ungrieved”. We are an emotional train wreck seeking any and all “vices and devices” to alleviate, depress, or block out Loss.

We can easily rebound hop on 4-6 month intervals for two years and still be “Ungrieved” from that one life altering relationship devastation. It would be like not grieving if mom or dad died.

Hellraiser1984 · Answer

Because it hurts really bad. Women can get guys like that, men have to put in a lot of work into courting you. I stopped trying because I can't take the pain anymore. We don't heal in the way you do. There's way more pressure on a guy getting a girlfriend than a woman getting a boyfriend. If we are single other men see us as weak and not a man. We have to prove to other men all the time that we are strong and not gay. We can't show or talk about our emotions ever because it's for the weak. We go cold because we can't let it out ever.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Ya, they heal, but a piece of them always remembers being treated poorly, just like most women.

So the defenses come up, especially, if the girl starts exhibiting behavior like the last girl that broke his heart.

However, if he decides to carry on with life, he has to make sure he doesn't carry his dislike for his ex's over to the next relationship, it is unfair to label someone that has shown him no ill will.

Anonymous · Answer

Sure we heal. But we also learn. You ladies always complain about being taken advantage of sexually, and that IS bad, but imagine being taken advantage of for a free place to live, gifts, money, and taking care of things that she doesn't want to deal with, while being sexually neglected and told that it's your fault, just to find out in the end that she never really loved you, and that all those things women say they look for in a "good man" are really just conveniences they want in their lives without having to give anything in return.

That's a hard lesson to learn when you've been taught all your life that women are more mature, virtuous, and loyal than men. But when you do learn it, it sticks.

Being_a_good_Indian · Answer

Loss of a relationship is often a common cause of why men go cold suddenly. Some men turn cold towards their ex-partners even though they maintain cordial relationships with even their competitors. It is not common in modern days. Some men may also become irritated, depressed, or mentally anxious to curb their pain.

Anonymous · Answer

When men love, they actually love. It isn’t just while it suits them, like how women love. Also women heal by getting another dick in her and masking her pain with endless other male attention.

men do not yet endless female attention, and we don’t get emotionally invested through sex, so fucking someone else would be fun but it doesn’t help us by transferring emotions onto another body.

We lose faith in everything we ever believed. We stop trusting in women, love, and everything we have been told.

The magic of women goes away and we start seeing patterns and similarities in everyone of them.

Moose304 · Answer

In my case, I am not cold. I am indifferent. When I was cheated on I lost the ability to trust again. I still see women. I still sleep with them. I will never allow them into the inner parts of my heart. In my case, it is not about healing. It is about trusting again. I simply don't! Some betrayals are that bad.

SolitarySolace · Answer

After being cheated on 3 times, and then falsely accused before choosing to remain alone for almost 9 years now, yeah each experience at least led me to go dead cold. No more second chances if I even allow there to be a first. Wouldn’t surprise me if other men do the same as I do.

suzzieQ · Answer

Healing is a choice and sometimes it takes conscious effort to heal. Some times people have to make an intentional choice to get better, but sometimes people would rather let an open wound fester and turn necrotic and infect their entire being.

DubiousIntentions · Answer

Some people have hearts as cold as ice.

bolverk · Answer

Its a self defence reaction, when we've been hurt we withdraw, and do not want to be put in the same position again. Healing can take one hell of a long time, it can take months, years, maybe never.

Anonymous · Answer

Women generally get way more love than men on an average. Men are being told to compartmentalise their emotions , pain , sufferings, abuse deep inside them. Where women are allowed to express themselves freely from early ages. So when a man open up and trust a girl and she betrays , it's harder for men to reorient himself again.

serious · Answer

No, that is also a type of healing. Going cold is one of the way men deal with things.

exitseven · Answer

It is like burning your hand on a hot stove. After a while you figure out that touching that stove is bad,

Heterosketero · Answer

If I said no, would you even believe me. Rejection is devastating to men. Even the ones who carry on. We are made of scars. But we do not play victims.

rupam_das · Answer

It's not easy for men to get girl, A man have to fight hard to make his woman happy & secure, Getting betrayed by woman is similar to emotional stabbed for us.

McKellar · Answer

Either their hearts will heal up gradually and over an extended period of time, (this will take either years or decades) or their hearts will just not heal up at all and communications will go dead, cold silent... permanently.

Somoneelse · Answer

Everyone deals with stuff differently. But I think also because men are forced by society to bottle stuff up and "man up".

Sasha0426 · Answer

I honestly think it depends on who they’re with and how deeply they fell in love with their partner. If they weren’t in love with them, they can move on real fast.

Quigly · Answer

Not really a unique behavior to a certain sex. Seems more like human behavior after going through an inhuman experience. You might be too young to understand.

Gibbons44 · Answer

Lol. Do women go soft and friendly after they get their heart broken?

Johnny4473 · Answer

No, cause nobody is there to help us throuit. We just adapt.

Anonymous · Answer

Of course they don't heal, least of all me, but that's okay. Pain is so constant that I've accepted every waking moment, I'll be in pain until I finally die

Anonymous · Answer

They heal. If you'd like to speed up that process for a dude that you just dumped, try setting him up with a hotter girl. I'll bet you find he perks RIGHT up!

Heolurt · Answer

Why, do you care? No you don't. So don't worry about it.

strlb · Answer

Getting hurt sucks. We are human too, remember that

This_Is_My_Opinion8 · Answer

Yes we do. I mean, the ones that actually heal in a healthy way.

Anonymous · Answer

Why do women generalize so much? See what I did there?

Anonymous · Answer

the amount of hurt and pain and suffering her and her family did to me it'll be a very long time before all that heals

Chthou95 · Answer

Because there's always another guy waiting for his turn. She's not yours, its just your turn

Byuser · Answer

OThings that are the result of feeling sorry for me

Anonymous · Answer

I dunno because never went Through this situation.. I always have backup plan.

Anonymous · Answer

I heard that men have more damage from broken heart than women that their personality changes

Dargil · Answer

We do if we find someone worthy.

es20490446e · Answer

It just proves that trust must be earned.

msc545 · Answer

we heal - but never quickly.

iSensei · Answer

Cause we are lions

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

No not at all

In_Trance · Answer

Sure they do

Why do men go dead cold after getting their heart broken? Don't they heal?

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Why do men go dead cold after getting their heart broken? Don't they heal?

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