Why some men so cold?

[thekpopweebchild]

Hi, so first off I would like to say i'm in college and always been into my studies. so I been seeing this guy who is 34 years old and he pays for dates. And he was my first kiss and I do really like him and he plans everything but just as of yesterday I told him I getting seasonal depression and he said he doesn't want to hear it so I just said well if you don't care someone will. So he just said good nite and I actually feel worst because it seems he doesn't care and I just left him on seen. What should I do?

[sparklycoconut]

Blue anon had decent advice for someone in a real relationship where both individuals care for each other. But I don't think blue anon's advice is applicable to this situation. I know that your relationship seems infallibly real to you. And to preface my response, I have to say I don't know your relationship. But there are some red flags that were immediately raised when I read your explanation.

• You are 18 years old and you say you're in college but I wonder if he was courting you before you ever entered college.
• There is a 16 year age gap.
• You seem extremely inexperienced navigating romantic relationships with adults, which is to be expected. This leaves you vulnerable to exploitation.
• He has demonstrated that he lacks basic empathy for someone who is supposed to be his partner. If my partner disclosed that they were experiencing seasonal depression, I would want to know more.

Based on my limited experience dating and also reading first hand accounts of people who were victims of grooming, I think he is a groomer. Groomers can be extremely convincing. They have years of practice administering manipulation techniques to get what they want from teenagers. I believe he has been doing this for years and he views you as disposable because there is always another teenager he can go after if he determines that you aren't worth the effort

I need some clarification though.

How exactly did the progression of these events occur? Did you mention seasonal depression, then he dismissed you, then you dismissed him, then he said bye? or were there events between these main points?

Also, has he talked to you today?

[thekpopweebchild]

well actually I met him this year and we started dating so I actually started back up yesterday and yes I told him about it because it comes from my parents that always had high standards on me. and he always happy and never dealt with mental illness but I made it clear I need his support and so he was like I don't want to hear it which made me feel worst and so I said i'm going to back up and if you don't want to hear it then thats fine have a good night then thats when he said night and I just never text back.

[Anonymous]

It's important to remember that people can have different ways of expressing their emotions and caring for others. Some individuals may come across as cold or less emotionally expressive, but it doesn't necessarily mean they don't care. It's possible that he may not fully understand or know how to respond to your seasonal depression.

Communication is key in any relationship. You could try talking to him again and express how you felt when he responded that way. Share your feelings and let him know what you need from him in terms of emotional support. It's also important to consider whether this relationship meets your emotional needs. If he continues to be unresponsive or dismissive of your feelings, it might be worth evaluating if this is the right relationship for you.

[thekpopweebchild]

I tried to understand him but he says that i want you happy and etc i didn't even get mad I just said so your not even going to say your going to be okay? or be supportive? then I said its fine if you don't want to hear let me back up. it someone else will and if you don't want to be there when i'm low you should not be there at all. Now I regret telling him that because he experts me to be happy all the time. so I left it at that I prob won't talk to him in the next few days and if he dosen't text me then oh well I don't know

[Opinion Owner]

It sounds like you've made your feelings and expectations clear to him, and it's important to communicate your needs in a relationship. It's also important to give him some time to process what you've said. People have different ways of coping with difficult conversations, and he might need some time to reflect on his actions and attitudes.

In the meantime, focus on taking care of yourself and managing your seasonal depression. Reach out to friends and family for emotional support. If he doesn't reach out in the next few days, you can decide whether or not you want to continue the relationship based on how his actions align with your emotional needs. It's crucial to prioritize your well-being and be with someone who can provide the support and understanding you require.

[thekpopweebchild]

thank you and yes a relationship requires emotional support to

[spartan55]

He called your bullshit bluff and it didn't work. Now what?

[thekpopweebchild]

oof you sound bitter

[spartan55]

Uh... no? Nice deflection attempt though.

[thekpopweebchild]

why are you mad for no reason?

[spartan55]

No one is mad, 😂😂

[Anonymous]

Because it's good for business