Why do men get hot and cold when you’re just being friendly?

[Anonymous]

I feel irritated by men that think I like them just because I’m being nice.. I got “rejected “ by this guy who thought was initially cool.. he became hot and cold.. what’s the psychology behind men who do this? I’m starting to feel like men like that get no btchs!

[OneViewpoint]

It's a common defensive reaction. He misread your words and actions. Easy to to with women since they often communicate in vague clues and hints men are left to translate or ignore. Or he could have been attracted to you and projecting his own feelings and fantasies onto your interactions.

Then you set him straight as nicely as you can and he cries betrayal. You led him on. He's butthurt and desperate to avoid admitting he fucked up. He's a man baby.

All of the above is why I don't read much into any interaction with any woman and try to force it down the path of a slow getting to know each other via a series of interactions over time. But then women will decide I am 'the one" and get pissed that I'm not picking up on all their cryptic flirting clues. Men can't fucking win. No I'm not clueless. I see your flirting attempts. I'm ignoring your attempts to flirt and not asking you out while I figure you out.

At the same time, I have enough awareness to recognize, ah, this one is just being friendly. She's good for brief chit chat and shallow conversations. I don't need to prioritize her texts or requests, pay for her drinks or meals, be there for her on demand, or listen to her bitch about the world. She's she-bro. She gets treated like one of the guys.

[Finchie40]

Females’ do the same thing , when I am just being friendly and polite and they assume I am flirting with them when I am not , her personality goes from hot to cold immediately when she finds out that I am not interested in her that way. So for a guy to do that to you , he is just butt hurt because you didn’t like him the way he likes you. Most people have a hard time with rejection , they assume every opposite sex person they talk to is supposed to want more than just friendship with them , it sadly happens a lot because people just assume things before actually knowing the truth , So if a girl doesn’t want to like me anymore because I am not interested in her that way , then that’s her problem not mine I experienced and witnessed this happening a shit ton of times , Guys’ and Girls’ just assume they are wanted when they aren’t, they get upset because they are rejected and feel they wasted their time talking to that other person , basically how dare you just want to be friends’ with me. It’s pathetic

[HollyK21]

You didn’t get rejected Chels! Why can’t this man just not want to be your friend? It’s ridiculous.

[Asker]

Oh okay

[RavVid]

Female signals of interest are vague and ambiguous at their most blatant. In fact a girl being nice & friendly is one of the signals of interest. At least you are interacting with us so it is a possibility.

There is body language but body language doesn't mean anything unless it is calibrated. Some girls just gesture to their breasts when they refer to themselves as a matter of course. Or they might be attempting to draw my attention to how firm their breasts are.

I can't know which it is if I haven't seen you interacting with others.

[BarryLiverstone]

One reason is girls tend to be subtle and give hints instead of taking the initiative. They want the guy to take the first step. This leaves guys to guess what you want and it’s often unclear. We are not mind readers.


Makes sense?

[Asker]

Not at all

[BarryLiverstone]

Lemme know which part is confusing

[Asker]

All of it

[Asker]

Because that’s not a reason to be hot and cold… it’s not “hints” it’s just being a decent person

[BarryLiverstone]

Of course it’s a reason. If the guy thinks you like him, he could be hot. Once he gets rejected he cools off

[Asker]

So what happened is I told my coworker wow we have a lot in common “ not really thinking about it just being friendly and amazed and everything was cool but then he started to kind of distance himself

[HollyK21]

Don’t waste your time Barry, she doesn’t listen and will be back next week.

[BarryLiverstone]

Ty Holly

[slatyb]

They are socially inept, and take common courtesy for sexual interest.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you are also sending hot and cold signals. Some guys have a hard time deciphering a girls signals, especially if they like them.

[Anonymous]

If you're just being nice why would you give a 💩 what thier reaction is, hot, cold, or other.🤔😆

[Asker]

Because it’s still hurtful

[Opinion Owner]

It shouldn't be if you have no feelings at stake.

[Asker]

I was a tad attracted to him but not in the beginning

[Opinion Owner]

Both genders do this hun. You probably do it even if you don't realize it.

[Asker]

Well I think he’s possibly gay..

[In_Trance]

Guys don't want to be friends
Ever