Finding the “right” guy?

[Anonymous]

Have you ever spent months (6+) communicating with a guy, under the impression they liked you and were pursuing more than a friendship?

The guy wasn’t a total stranger, I knew of him from college, but our paths did not cross then. He threw around the words “boyfriend” and “relationship” in casual conversation. We spent time in person too but never defined them as “dates.”We had deep conversations.

I became sexually intimate, and it’s like a switch is flipped. He defined us as just friends with benefits. His communication was less. A huge waste of my time, it feels like. I was expecting more. I would have limited my communication and put up more boundaries had I thought we were just friends.

How do you avoid guys that are like this? Any advice for future dating?

[WanderingLoveWizard]

It's easy for a girl to write a guy off as a player when he does things like this. I totally get it, believe me, and sometimes you're right. But it also could've been that he didn't have the connection with you that he thought he would.

You really get to know a person when you have sex with them. It's like who they really are peeks out and you can see right through them.
I've had sex with girls, with the purest of intentions, but quickly realized I just can't do this with her. It's a sad truth.

Mind you, it most likely has nothing to do with you personally. Some people just click, and others don't