Do I as a Neurodivergent man have to conform to the standards of Regular men?

[thebestalt]

I am Neurodivergent. For those who need a brief understanding, it's a word to describe people with neurological disorders that changes the way they view, interact, and live in this world and the people in it. Things such as Autism, ADHD, and others are grouped into Neurodivergence.

This world was not built for neurodivergent people. And as a man, I'm not seen as being "manly enough". I'm seen as "too emotional", not stoic enough, worry too much, too weak, seen as lazy for not being able to withstand way more than a typical man can.

This also goes with relationships or finding them. This goes with pre-conceived expectations at work. Out in about in public. Trying to socialize.

People have these expectations and they expect and want me to be like everyone else. They try to "give me advice" on things I'm not doing well enough or demonize me for being different. Both men and women. And I must ask, do I need to? Do I need to fit into these molds made by society for a typical man just because I maybe "high-functioning"? Am I exempt from the standard molds and can just make my own?

No, be yourself and ignore everyone else

Yes, it's life and everyone has to

[SteveSmith1985]

I think it's a mixture of both. I think that being yourself is the way to go... unless and until you find situations where that doesn't work for you.

So basically, the world will expect you to conform to expectations, just like everyone else. So you can't go saying some rude offensive shit... and expect people to be ok with that just because you're nurodivergent. People will hold you to regular standards.

Same goes for the dating and gender epectations. You are absolutely free to reject those traditional standards as much as you want. But you'd have to understand that... because your own standards and expectations for yourself... are not the same as the expectations everyone else has... that you may well "fall short" of some girls expectations. And you'd have to be ok with that.

So if, for example, you find that using your own startards and expectations for yourself... isn't getting you the results you're hoping for. THAT's when it might be worthwhile taking someone's advice about how you should try and work on this or that.

So, do whatever seems to make sense in the situation.

The world sure as hell isn't going to conform to YOUR standards (not even when it comes to what they expect of YOU). If you are ok with the repercussions of having a different set of standards for yourself (e. g. some girls might not think you manly enough) , then no problem.

If you find situations where you are losing-out by failing to conform to the expected standards, then you should consider doing so in those situations.

[SomeRandomGuy89]

It's in human nature to try and belong within a society. You do it by labelling yourself
"neurodivergent". You're saying, this is me. This is the group I belong too. This is where I fit in and how I contribute.

We're social animals and we need each other. You may not fit into the ideals that you interpret to represent masculinity, but you do need to find your niche. If you don't make meaningful connections with others you will be miserable.

You can go your own way but I'd suggest you find a way that best utilizes your personality traits and learned skill sets to benefit those around you.

Stand alone and die alone. It sounds romantic but it's really just you without the meaning and value of a life worth living.

[Guardian45]

Welcome Bro! I'm ND, and only recently discovered the term, but I have been ND all my life. I knew I was different, but I didn't know what it was or why until I was properly diagnosed.

I never felt like I needed direction, because I knew what I wanted and I never followed the "usual" path of my friends and colleagues.

For better or worse, I am who I am, where I am! I still have difficulty processing and interpreting the world around me. I still don't know where my path is taking me, but I am more comfortable now with not knowing than I ever was before.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Be yourself and ignore everyone else, including the doctors giving you pseudoconditions.

"neurodivergent" is a stupid word, it implies that a normal/standard exists to be different from.

It does not exist, people are individuals, so everyone is "neurodivergent".