Why would a man keep messaging me out of nowhere?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He’s 36, very handsome, settled, quite successful and currently single. We met each other on Bumble, and he stopped using Bumble after he got my contact info. He’s a bit older for my taste but very good looking and I am very attracted to him.

So, we talked daily and he wanted to come and visit my city to have a date. But I refused, I was recovering from a break up and wasn’t ready.

His communication got less frequent, but he still messages me once in 4-5 days and we talk whole days, he keeps saying he likes me.

But I don’t know what else does he want, he is not implying anything. Is he just messaging because he likes messaging? Why wouldn’t he try visiting me again? I don’t see the reason why should I keep messaging him.

Updates

+1 y

We don’t speak about anything sexual, we just flirt subtly and he keeps telling about his days and whereabouts.

Updates

+1 y

He’s doing that again. He just messaged me he’s invited to have lectures in the nearby city and he would like to have a date with me during or after the trip. He hasn’t messaged me for 3 weeks and just messages me that today.

I Just don’t understand why, he lives very far from me, he’s got his own business in another city, I live very far from him and what is he expecting from this date? I told him in the past, I am not into casual relationships, then why does he want to meet me? What will on?

[FilmGuy93]

It's called "consistency." The man is respecting your healing process and is still romantically interested in you but isn't being pushy about it.

If, as you heal, you decide you are interested in dating him, he wants to leave that line of communication open.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I didn’t tell him my break up was a reason of not meeting. I told him that I have a dating anxiety, which is true, I am my most attractive when I meet someone spontaneously.

[RealMarek]

It sounds as if he is respecting you by not coming on too strongly after you said you have dating anxiety. He’s obviously attracted to you enough to keep in touch and to be patient. But why don’t you discuss it with him? Why not just ask him what his intentions are, why he keeps in touch, if he finds you attractive? See what you learn from how he answers. If he is understanding and if he helps you feel a sense of calm when you are discussing things with him, perhaps he has qualities you need in a man.

[Pinay_ako]

He’s respecting your process of healing but at the same time still trying to be relevant in your life by just being there from a distance. If you’re ready, why don’t you ask him to meet up this time?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am scared to meet him, I am really self conscious after break up. I think what if he doesn’t like me. He’s very attractive and interesting to me and I would fond it hard to not feel reciprocated

[Pinay_ako]

Have you FaceTimed? Has he seen you? If he’s still communicating with you even after you told him you’re not ready, it means he’s serious and willing to wait. Give him a chance. Let him visit. Go from there. Drop your expectations. Just go with a free mind. You’ll never know

[dynamicyandere]

I agree. He’s still interested in you, and he’s being respectful of your healing process. He’s not being flirtatious because he doesn’t want to pressure you into reciprocating. He’s letting you know you’re on his mind and he hasn’t forgotten you. When you’re emotionally ready, you two can meet sometime. If he’s being a gentleman from afar like this, he’ll probably still be a gentleman in person. When you’re ready to meet up, just be safe. 🍀

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@dynamicyandere But I messaged him yesterday and he replied but then I sent him a video of a lake I was at and he didn’t reply…

I don’t think that means being interested. So I am confused what he wants.

[dynamicyandere]

@LaFemmeFatale_1 Hmm. If that’s the case, I’d think he was either just busy or maybe he just wants to keep you a part of his life by staying in touch, but since no relationship has been established, he has higher priorities right now and he’s been attending to those other things, which would explain the slower replies.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@dynamicyandere Then why does he even initiate out of nowhere? What reminds him of me? I don’t always post when he messages. I am just confused, why would he want to keep in touch.

[dynamicyandere]

@LaFemmeFatale_1

You’re just on his mind. You don’t need to remind him of you. He thinks about you. Which is why I believe he’s still interested, but just keeping a distance to allow you to heal.

Either that, or he’s genuinely interested in cultivating a friendship.

So, whether it’s a relationship he’s interested in, or a friendship he’s interested in, he wants to have something with you.

And it’s not ‘out of sight, out of mind’ he just genuinely thinks about you, on his own.

[mb120101]

He wants to keep himself relevant while you heal so he has a chance one day. If you told him you're not interested he's annoying

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

No, I find him very interesting.

[mb120101]

Its your turn to make a move assuming he's not old and ugly he will probably have too much pride to ask twoce

[mb120101]

Multiple girls have me on a back burner randomly adding me to their private stories and popping up on my snapchat map trying to get my attention after i slid in the DMs a long time ago but Im waiting for someone to DM me randomly back.

[mb120101]

2 girls i worded that dumb

[Summeroflove]

He’s probably loosing interest. You said you didn’t want to date and I understand you weren’t ready. There’s probably other girls interested in him.


If I were you. If you feel ready… Then tell him you’re ready to go on a date. Because as I said. He’s probably loosing interest

[OfMiceandMen]

He likes you, so he finds excuses to talk to you to stay connected. He sounds like a decent guy. He wants you to heal from your break-up and he's not being pushy about it.

I would say the ball is in your court. It is up to you to ask him out. He asked you already and you refused, I would do the same and not push my luck.

If you like him, then you should make an effort to get to know him or he'll move on.

[Johnny4473]

So you're coming off a breakup and thinking of jumping into another one?

Here's a poece of advice, how about instead of focusing on hedonistic desires ypu actually take out time for yourself to heal properly and get into a relationship when you are ready for it?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

It’s been 9 months

[Sparkie460]

He is hoping that after you have time to heal you will go out with him

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Why doesn’t come and visit me then.

[Sparkie460]

He's giving you space to get over your breakup

[Vegasrunner]

This is an EZ and it highlights the fact that women don't understand relationships. You curbed him once already, so he's not going to ask for another date. His plan is to stay in your orbit until one day you "feel" different. Remember what a women says is simply a reflection of how she feels at that specific time.

[OlderAndWiser]

He made a move and you rejected him. He is maintaining contact hoping to see a sign that your feelngs have changed. It's your turn to make a move.

[bros26]

Dude she is dumb asf
She just want to show off that guy's text her even after rejection such a dum she is 😂

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@OlderAndWiser That’s what I thought. But I told him I turned down his offer because I was scared of starting dating so soon after break up and plus, I am scared of dating guys who I really like. I tried to tell him the truth.

And I really like him, I don’t know why. I have never met him, but I just really like him. I’ve got a feeling if we met I would be really shy.

So in your opinion his aimless messages are directed to his thoughts that maybe I can become available available?

The other day he told me I should visit him but I thought that’s just his way of flirting because he knows I wouldn’t stay with him at night.

So, I just don’t fully understand, if he wants me to show signs of interest - shouldn’t he message daily and be more attentive?

[OlderAndWiser]

It is a careful dance to avoid getting rejected again. Why don't you just tell him that you feel that you have moved forward sufficiently and you are ready to start dating again?

[Gingerbread_GB]

He wants to meet you at the time and place of your choosing, it's that simple. If you really don't want to meet him, just tell him that you don't want to talk to him anymore, don't string him along forever.

[Anonymous]

Is he supposed to just keep asking you to meet up and keep getting turned down like a fucking chump?
He already threw the idea out there and you said you weren't ready. The ball is in your court, not his

[spartan55]

So if you aren't ready to date then why are you on Bumble?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I registered 3 months ago for a very silly reason. For me my ex fiancé was the sexiest man on Earth and I was feeling like I turned asexual after break up. I wanted to see if I’d find someone at least tiny bit attractive. I wanted to see someone hotter than my ex fiancé so I would feel like I am okay, I can be attracted to other men as well, he was not the hottest man on planet.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Just basically was there to look up photos and see if I’d find someone attractive or was I damned to find all other men unattractive for the rest of my life. But when we started talking I felt attraction to him, to the way he showed his attention and shared me highlights of his days and made me feel cared and thought of.

[JesseP1nk]

He is intrested in you but you push him away when you you are not ready to meet him since you recover from breakup. He won't wait forever. So dont be surprised if he give up on you. Would you chase someone if keep giving you a cold shoulder?

[Coyote12]

Exactly! When I tell someone I'm interested in them but their feelings aren't mutual I just pull way back. There is no point in putting energy into something when nothing is going to come of it.

[Levin]

You told him you're not interested. He can't read your mind. Probably taken a back seat.

[Pudsmucker]

Just be friends it's okay. Just telling me you're not ready yet. Sounds like he's a very patient individual.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

He is hesitant and is scared for another rejection so he avoids asking for anothr date

[HowardB]

Successful that’s what a woman wants more than personality. What is successful to you? 6 figure, nice car?

[Anonymous]

We usually do this when we're bored..
Don't think that you're super hot or anything you're good timepass i guess...

[Anonymous]

Because he wants to fuck you

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Why do you think so? I told him I don’t have sex outside of a relationship

[Opinion Owner]

That's the bottom line my good lady.

[shades777]

You answered your own question in paragraph 2.

[msc545]

Just ask him - NOT us.

[In_Trance]

Wants to smash