We were both young and stupid. We were in contact for years after school but never asked each other out.
We dated other people in the last 10 years. He moved away from the city to study but it was actually to stay far from me.
He never could tell me he loved me. I knew from his friends. At the school years I didn't like him that way. He'd always pull my leg and I was very easily irritated.
Eventually years went by and we could actually talk for hours about silly stuff. I dated one guy and it was long distance. I never knew what love is or what it should feel like. After dating my now ex husband I know what love isn't. And how it's the small things that keep us content and at peace.
My ex abused me verbally emotionally and physically. My marriage lasted roughly 3 months and he mentioned divorce after few weeks whenever he felt angry. He was always suspicious of me even though I gave him full access to my devices and justwent to office and came back.
He shouted, chased me to the gate of my office and humiliated me everywhere we went.
He was violent and I finally managed to get out of there and let my family know.
I have nothing but emptiness now. I don't know how I got tangled with a person like my ex husband. He love bombed me so nicely and me having not much prior knowledge with dating and red flags I jumped into it. He left me dry and empty financially and emotionally.
I know what love should not be. I craved decent normal human interaction. I craved respect. I couldn't even share a story with my ex because he'd make question about if there were guys.
I know it's too late. I let the one who loved me go. And now I'm divorced. I'm happy to be divorced than be in eternal agony.
But I can't help but wonder. Would he ever think about me like before again.
