Why is he acting so confusing, like hot and cold?

[Jayde21]

So I met him on school and he came talking to me. We had a deep conversation and we clicked very well. He started to add me on social media and started a text online on TikTok (which I know he did so his girlfriend would not check it). We talked but it started getting flirtatious and deep and i started to develop feelings for him. He started giving me compliments on my body and face and was really sweet. He liked talking about sex too.

I started to feel bad because he has a girlfriend and I started developing feelings for him which is totally wrong. So I told him about the feelings and he wasn't suprised at all and said that he won't leave because of that. I didn't understand him because what does he want from me? I asked him and I didn't got a clear answer. He told me to wait and I was like waiting for what? You can't wait for feelings. He said that anything can happen. He said he is confused about his feelings and doesn't know what he wants anymore. I asked him if we could just be friends but he wasn't sure about that either.

After a while I broke contact because it didn't felt right, I didn't wanted to be a backup plan and I surely didn't wanted to disrespect his girlfriend. Later we met again on school with his friends and he didn't looked good so I texted him again asking how he was. We talked and I figured I missed him so I told him that and he said he also thought about me a couple times and that it was nice that he saw me. later that night he didn't respond to me anymore and we never really talked since. I deleted him from everywhere but he followed me back and still likes my videos and acts nice to me when we are in the group. He also asked my friend to videocall me and stuff because they were with their friends. Still dont know why he asked that, maybe he wanted to hear my voice? Whenever I look at him he holds the eye contact when we are alone.

What do you think he wanted or why he acts so confusing? Because I left?

[Anonymous]

You say you feel bad, have guilt because of his girlfriend, yet you actively choose to keep engaging and that makes no sense. What kind of a man do you think you’d be gaining? A good one? He’s cheating on someone right in front of your face yet somehow you believe you can build a loyal, committed relationship. You’d be sick with worry, insecure, and overthinking through your entire relationship. The sad part is you wouldn’t even be wrong for it because you are seeing first hand how you’d acquire him, and that’s by taking him from someone else. No matter how innocent you want to act in this situation, you’re nerfing yourself a man that you’d lose the exact same way you got him. I think the reason he’s hot and cold is very clear and that’s because he’s in a relationship while trying to hide what he’s creating with you and lord knows how many other women. You can do better than that and more so, you should want to have the same respect for another woman that you’d want her to have for you.

[Jayde21]

I know how bad I am, and what mistakes I made and i surely dont want to come agross as innocent because i am not, I know what I did what is wrong. I didn't left him for nothing, i left him for her and because i am just as bad as he is. I just wanted to know why he acts like that because we are in the same friend group and i have to face him a lot. I dont get involved in it anymore, i backed off, the only time i talk to him is when he says or ask me something.

[Opinion Owner]

You’re not a bad person, you just made a bad choice, it’s good to hear that you’ve stopped engaging in that because it’s for the better. As to why he’s hot and cold, he mentioned to you that he wasn’t sure he could be your friend, and this is a result of his actions. You just have to remember it’s not your problem. In a whole group of friends, you don’t have to deal with him and honestly if I were in your position I’d try my best to hang out with them separately from him. But this situation only has the power that you give it, and there’s no need to feel obligated to address him. Focus on the others, let him be the one with the issue and not you. This will pass, you won’t be in school together forever.

[Saywaaah]

he's breadcrumbing and messing you about. He's not leaving his girlfriend. If he really liked you, he wouldn't be confused. Guys get bored in relationships etc, some start chatting to other girls. They just want enjoy that fun flirty chasing stage he's got you stuck in. They want to boost their confidence and see if they can still get girls. The fact he liked talking about sex with you sounds to me like he is bored with his girlfriend atm and just wants some fresh excitement.

However because he's only bored, that doesn't change that he loves his girlfriend. Once the boredom goes, so will his desire to get with another girl. Don't waste your time, all the liking your posts and stuff is his way of trying to rope you back in to give him his attention fix. If he's bold enough to approach you etc, he's confident enough to make you his girl. He hasn't done that, so he doesn't intend to take you seriously. He's playing games and just wants attention.

[RyanK9b]

I guess he don't want to loose the backup plan. Surely the retreat from you hurt him a bit bc it feels good to get attention. But if he would have interest into you he would act on it.

[KrakenAttackin]

He's a fuck boy, what do you expect?