My boyfriend and his guy friend call each other "babe", "love", and all sorts of pet names. Yet he says it's weird to say that to me. Is he gay?

[Anonymous]

Okay, so me and my boyfriend have been dating since 2020. 3 to 4 years of this relationship going. When things first started off he used to call me cute pet names, flirt 24-7 with me, do sweet gestures and so forth! It wasn't till like, 6 months into the relationship he just suddenly dropped the pet names. I asked him about it and he just said it feels weird to say those to me... When he first started the pet names. I let it slide and thought nothing of it anyways, as we continue to date all of a sudden he's now been calling me his "partner" and no longer girlfriend. Now, let me give you context on this; about 4 months ago I joined one of his Discord server group of friends and he didn't say I was his girlfriend, he told me he just mentions he has a girlfriend every so often. Just forward to a few days ago now, he got done with a fun get together with them and told me how much his friends freaked out and got confused on how he has a "partner" let alone a relationship. Confused myself, I spoke up about it because I remembered that previous moment of him telling me he has told the exact same group of people he has a girlfriend. Now on about the guy friend; This guy friend is both a friend of mine and a friend of his, I saw nothing of it but my gut has been acting weird since it first started. All 3 of us used to play Dead by Daylight together. This was also back when he would call me pet names and such. Suddenly he started doing that to our guy friend and I just laughed it off because they both said it's just being "homies". I truly have nothing against that, he can have his guy friends for sure! But it wasn't until he started to say it more and more to our guy friend, that he started to say it less and less to me till he completely stopped. Like, he never addresses me as babe, love, hun, or sweetheart anymore and it's only my name. But when it's our friend they both just constantly go at it with those names. Should I be worried he is cheating but also gay?

[Effably]

I see nothing wrong with the interaction between him and this other guy. Every place has norms and the current friendship norm on a discord setting often involves some rather overt comments between men - and outright gay ones. While of course it can be actual flirting, 95% of the time its just the current way of making fun of each other.

Similarly, him calling you his partner around others is fine with me. Its the more mature terminology, especially in a mixed setting of people. He absolutely could use something else, girlfriend, pet name of his choice, so on. But its still the most correct term around others. I default to partner too if around strangers.

Now. What is not okay without diving into it is the lack of or lowered affection towards you. It could be that him using the same terms as jokes makes it feel odd to use around you where there are genuine feelings - or feelings may have changed. That does need to be addressed regardless. Talking it out helps. A sneakier option is for you to start using a silly amount of petnames for him. Normalize it if it feels weird. End of the day though you need to communicate. Most men are good with lists. Numbered lists.

Things I need:
1. Pet names
2. Love taps
3. Gaming chair
4. You get it
5. Be abdunantly clear

[Anonymous]

No necessarily. It depends on how they say it. Was he in the military before? I ask because when I was in their military we used to say shit like this to each other. Far from fruits, these dudes would kill someone if they had to in war. Masculine. It was just dudes being dudes. Like I’d always call one of my bros my bitch lol like there’s my little bitch, come to daddy. But was it meant in a sexual, homo type of way? No, never. Just joking around, dumb shit.

[BasedBaeBecca]

It's not necessarily a bad thing that your boyfriend and his guy friend call each other "babe", "love", etc. as it might just be them being playful and friendly. It could also be that they are just expressing their affection to each other in a harmless way. However, if he stopped using pet names with you but uses them with his guy friend, then it could be that he's not as interested in you or invested anymore, or maybe even that he's cheating. Either way, the best thing to do would be to talk to him and clarify the situation so you have a better understanding of his feelings and intentions.

[unknownactivities101]

Girl, the glass is very clear there. You should break up with him before you get hurt. Maybe, their pet names are what they’re calling each other in secret. No straight man likes calling their girlfriend “partner”. I think maybe you should sit down and talk to him on what’s going on and have him define your relationship at this point meaning does he still have feelings for you or not and you can decide from there

[MementoMori777]

yea dat boi hella sussin

[Anonymous]

Always listen to your gut! Does your boyfriend watch any porn by any chance?

[Asker]

A lot of Anime Hentai, but always of doggy style and blow jobs. I have asked him flat out TIMES and TIMES before on if he's sure he isn't gay, and he just says confidently no.

[Opinion Owner]

The reason why I ask is because porn uses subliminal programing to plant the seed of homosexuality. A lot of films also do the same, but porn does it a lot more. It's likely the Anime Hentai he watches is busy planting all kinds of demonic seeds including that. Thus often people aren't actually gay, they start to get such thoughts due to the seeds that were planted and then start acting on it.

[Anemone978]

Defo seems weird and gay lol..

[Luckycharms12]

Ya that's weird and a bit gay

[In_Trance]

probably