My ex messaged me, why do I feel nothing?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He messaged me whether I am moving away from the city or not? Why would he be wondering?

Well, I am not sure I care, I also don’t feel in the mood to answer. I just wonder, why do I feel literally NOTHING?

As if a random boring guy messaged me.

Updates

+1 y

He messaged again, “(my name), be well…”

I guess he meant good wishes to me.

I totally forgot to reply , it’s a good sign.

[Alli39]

Because you no longer have feelings for him? It's healthy. Consider it a good thing. I'd love to get where you are with some of the people I no longer have in my life.

And don't feel like you have to answer him. He is a random guy messaging you. Take it at face value and make your decision from there.

[sheikalana]

Well, seems like you're over him which is a good sign. Do not feel the obligation to reply him and start a conversation. It's a waste of time to reconnect to exes.

[JesseP1nk]

If you are same who i think you are and made other topic here. He might be stalking you here, since i suggested to move away to other city who knows... 🤷 I would suggest not to talk to him and move far away from him and his family so you could heal and they won't be constant reminder of the past.

[Lliam]

I don't see why you should care. Why is he still messaging you? He made his choice. Does his ego need to feel that you still miss him?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He hasn’t messaged me for a very long time. I am a bit surprised he did now. I don’t miss him anymore.

[Friendlybro79]

Sounds like someone has moved on or is moving on.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I have had the toughest one year and handled it all alone. I don’t know why would he appear but he was my fiancé and he left and got into a relationship with a new girl right after 2 months, when I was still in the agony caused by breakup, then it added ip the agony of feeling betrayed. I felt too many emotions, I already cried all my tears.

It’s funny because when he broke up with me he said his feelings faded with long distance and he felt absolutely nothing, I do feel the same now.

[Friendlybro79]

This makes perfect sense for you to feel this way.

[AviatorTom]

He's your ex, you're not supposed to feel anything, that relationship is over, in the past.

[spartan55]

You should feel nothing. That's a good thing.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I would be so happy to get his message months ago. Now though… I feel nothing other than discomfort.

[spartan55]

Keep it moving, don't let it bother you.

[Christoff92]

He mistreated you, assuming. Then that's the reason why.

[exitseven]

You don't care about him anymore. Think of this as a good thing. You can move on and have no regrets. You are getting off cheapmm

[ProbablyClueless]

He's an ex. Whatever you felt for him is in the past now. That's what moving on is supposed to feel like.

[OlderAndWiser]

Have you tried to numb your heart to him? Was the breakup extremely painful for you?

[ShesRad80]

he is an ex why should you care? i wouldn't answer and move forward as you have been

[loveslongnails]

Do you really not know why? Seems entirely obvious, one would think.

[justabuddy]

I think as life goes on we learn a lot about ourselves and the world. I think you have learned that you can live without him. You have grown as a person. You have moved on.

[msc545]

Why do you think you should feel something?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t know, I thought when he’d finally do that, maybe I’d feel a tiny bit more emotional since I loved him at some point.

But I didn’t feel a thing other than unwanted discomfort.

[BoopBoopBeep]

That's where I am with my ex. It's shocking since that's such a 180 from where we were. I literally stood ready to kill for her once (we were in a war zone together), not it's just... meh. She is the mother of my rescue kittens, and one of them adores her like the sun and moon itself, so I would protect her for the rescue kitten, but I ain't taking a bullet for her.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@BoopBoopBeep I understand. It’s a weird feeling to feel nothing for a person who used to mean everything to you.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@lafemmefatale_1
I remember the pain. Faintly I'm not sure which is better...

Physically I am in pain every day (for other reasons obviously) and I have grown to like it. It means I am still alive. When I was dying I didn't feel the pain anymore, so every day I wake up and feel it is a reminder that I am not yet dead.

I'm not sure if it works the same on the inside. If you ever figure that out, do let me know please.

[msc545]

For what it's worth, I think the opposite of love is not hate but in difference.

[msc545]

Indifference.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@msc545
Absolutely agree

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@BoopBoopBeep I am sorry that you are in pain… and it’s awe inspiring that you find it likable in its own way…

I get what you are saying.

In childhood, when I felt hurt, I would often cheer myself up and say “Hey, at least you are alive and that’s why you hurt. It’s better than not feeling anything.”

I think that thought helped me to get through a lot and keep enjoying life the way it was.

I have never experienced near death experience but I died in a dream one month ago, that was a car accident and we flew into the abyss. I remember saying “I love you” and the feeling of peace. Then when I woke up I felt weird that death didn’t feel scary at all, it actually felt like nothing and then voila, you wake up.

I appreciate the sadness and pain too as a reminder that I am alive.

And there’s a beauty in sadness or pain.

The other day I heard a song I listened after break up and I felt nostalgic. I felt nostalgic to a period when I almost died of a heart break. I am not a masochist. I just think there’s a beauty in both, sadness and happiness.

At 25, I lost my grandpa, then uncle, my fiancé broke up with me and my dad underwent a major surgery. That was a tough year.

I started appreciating life even more. You never know when and how it ends, so we should try to be thankful for each day life gives us. 100 years later from now none of us nor our pains will exist. So, it’s a privilege to feel pain.

I just hope it’s bearable for you.

[BoopBoopBeep]

The every day pain is "normal" aches and pains from former jobs. Scars ache a little when the pressure changes. Knees don't like the humidity much. Back hurts... haha well always really, but crushed vertebrae do that I guess. Can't feel parts of my face but every so often they'll be a sharp pain there like a needle stick. My left ear was cut off and reattached a long time ago. It burns in the sun where the connection is. Feels like a lighter against my skin. It's WAY more bearable than how they all got there though, so I'm not going to call it NOT bearable.

Haha, there was this one time. Can't fully remember which country I was in but I can still see the hideous hotel wall paper. I'm pulling some shrapnel out of my back in the mirror with some tweezers and a flashlight because it kept snagging on my shirt while I was trying to sleep. I really wanted a turkey leg like they sell at the carnival and there's zero chance of getting that. I pulled this tiny piece out that was hooked and it must have been right on a nerve. That thing hurt like when you papercut the corner of your lip on an envelope. Fast forward, get everything done, can't sleep, can taste turkey leg. The next day I got this slim-jim type thing that had a picture of a bird on it. The package was covered in some kind of oily dirt. God only knows how old it was. Took one bite of it hoping it would satisfy the turkey craving I had. I reasoned there's so much salt in that stuff it can't go bad, right? Nope, turns out they can go bad. Spent the rest of the day hopping from bathroom to bathroom. THAT actually hurt the most of that 24 hours. I'm actually going somewhere with this, I promise. Not just rambling due to lack of coffee.

[BoopBoopBeep]

It said I was too long again... continuing...

At least my stuff has been spread out over the years. Your, whatever year you were 25, sounds like a TRULY horrible year. I'm so very sorry you had to go through that. I think there's a compounding effect when things happen in close proximity. Physically it's certainly true. It's not twice as bad to get shot twice, it's 225%...210%... something extra... I dont know. Emotionally and mentally I think the same thing applies. You can take (most) all of the hits individually, but when they come back to back like that in a short period it really adds up to higher magnitudes. You are very strong for making it through so very much, especially at such a young age.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@BoopBoopBeep Yep, it was a tough year. All of it happened in the duration of 6 months. My Grandpa, uncle, fiancé, my dad.

My dad was a very reckless youngster years ago, thanks to which he went through an accident that almost ended his life years before I was born and he had gone tons of surgeries to survive. He was almost dead at some point and doctors said “Had he not have a exceptionally strong body and a very good health, he wouldn’t make it alive, it was a 1% chance of survival” and he made it!

But doctors also said it would be a miracle if he’d manage to live up to the age of 40. Here he is at 52 and he’s still very strong now but imagine what it felt like knowing that he miraculously survived and there were tiny chances of him living this long and then his old wounds come back again and you don’t know if he’ll make it alive or not.

That was the hardest part of the year. I was feeling like life was endlessly slapping me without giving me time to take a breath.

Before he went to the surgery he told me “I love you”, That was the first time, I didn’t say “I love you too”, I told him I’d answer on that the next day.

Then he told us about his friends who have been kind to him and asked me and my brother to pay them back for their kindness, if he couldn’t make it alive.

I joked to him that he’d better make it alive cause I wasn’t going to pay for anyone’s kindness. I was just trying to give him the mood, that he was going to make it alive, so there was nothing to worry.

I remember the moment, surgeon came to us after surgery and said “he’s fine, he’ll live a long life”. That was the first time in years I cried of happiness.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@BoopBoopBeep It’s almost painful to imagine for me that you’ve been through so much…

I think you are exceptionally strong person, so you telling me I am strong is a compliment, I appreciate.

You’ve been through a lot…

But read all this I couldn’t help but think, is it worth to put people through so much pain just because of our political interests?

Why couldn’t us people just be a bit more peaceful?

I have a brother, to imagine that something like this could happen to him as well, it boils my blood and causes me to feel the burning anger , probably tiny bit similar to what your ear feels in the sun.

I am impressed, really… You should definitely write that book about your life and let us read that.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@lafemmefatale_1
Better men than me did far more for far less... but I guess I do have some funny stories to share of what's been a really wonderful journey. Maybe one day after retirement ;)

Gotta go shower. Rescue kitten #2 doesn't like my post-race smells.

[Can07]

Because you don’t love him anymore

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Here’s the 2nd question why do ex’s appear when you no longer love them?

[Andres77]

You’ve matured past him.

[musicbrain5]

Because you're over him, that's why.

[Jazzy54]

Sounds like you’re over him.

[Alex-Snow]

He is an Ex so you have moved on... good for you

[Pinay_ako]

Coz you’re over him