Guy's Behavior

Am I delusional?

Hey!

So here’s a little about my situation.
I was seeing a guy casually on and off for a little over 2 years.
He ended it a couple of times (me once) and each time I said ok goodbye.
No begging, no reaching out no nothing.
At least one time it did crush me. I really fell for him.
Another time he knew I had gained feelings for him and said he didn’t see me in that way.
This was when it ended for the longest - 8 months.
Surprisingly I was fine after, I think it was more me issues that him (we’ve all been there right?)

But he always came back.

So this time around, I was ok to keep it casual and he’d already made it clear it was for him. Although we never really spoke about it.

The last couple of times we saw each other. The chemistry was undeniable.
He even, unprompted, said what amazing chemistry we have and it’s by far the best he’s ever had.
I know sex doesn’t mean love and sex can be just that. Sex.
But each time it gets better, we get more intimate, we explore each other more and our kinks.
I feel the connection.
I know he felt it too.

But yes, he ended it again.

And yes it’s annoying me, and I’m hurt, and I miss him.
And I know he never wanted me like that.
And I’m not even sure I want him again at this point.
It’s too exhausting.

But I can’t shake this feeling. That I’m not imagining it.
That he felt it too.
And I know it doesn’t make sense that if he felt something why would he end it.

But am I really delusional?
Did he really just not feel anything?
Or can I take comfort in the fact that what I know is true?
Is it possible he felt it too?
Despite ending it?
Am I delusional?
Post Opinion