Why do they say that if a man is jealous and possessive he's probably cheating?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Depends on how possessive/controlling he is. A very possessive man (or woman) is actually a very deep sign of insecurity. If he gets all unnecessarily pissed off when a unknowing guy says hello to his girlfriend (different story if the guys hit on her knowing she’s taken).

The problem is a lot of women initially get turned on by possessive men. They think it’s “true love” when in reality it’s not about you. It’s about him. It’s a HIM problem.

Also some women do this “jealousy is cute” bullshit. They shit test the man they are with by acting flirty with other men and/or inviting other men to hit on them. I’ve seen some women try to justify that bs like it’s harmless or something. It’s not. Do not do that ladies. The long term damage & distrust that can come from that isn’t worth your short term shits and giggles. That was a major reason why I’ve given up on a few women in the past. Mature men won’t tolerate that crap especially if it happens more than once.

There is one woman I’ve dated in the past who completely trusted me when I was out with my friends and vice versa. She did show minor signs of jealousy when I talked to her friends at social gatherings (which is normal). But she kept it in check and didn’t test it. She did communicate it to me privately later but she did it calmly. The fact she trusted me made me trust her more.

Also dating a controlling man will very likely end badly for you. He is much more likely to get violent/abusive. The signs are there so don’t be an idiot and dive head first into a dark pit thinking “you can change him”. When things do end badly just remember you made a conscious choice to keep dating him. You were part of the problem and not a “complete” victim or some crap.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

It's because it's often true. It may seem counterintuitive, but it's common for cheaters to be paranoid and jealous about their partner, and suspecting them of cheating. Essentially, the cheater assumes that everyone else cheats just like they do, and the project their own low morals onto their partner, despite any evidence to support it.

Not all cheaters do this, for sure - some cheaters are fine with their partner cheating too, because they have no boundaries themselves and so they don't expect any, and just aren't invested enough in anything to really care. Others are very jealous and possessive, even though they cheat themselves.

DermalPunch · Accepted Answer

It depends to what degree. If he isntjealous at all he likely isn't very invested and you are just a past time.

If he is very jealous and possessive he is likely insecure and needs a lot of external validation and will care little about your feelings if that validation comes from another woman.

WhitneySnow · Accepted Answer

Because he’s projecting what he’s doing onto you. He figures since he’s cheating, you probably want to too. Very selfish/

Anonymous · Answer

Well “they” are wrong. Now if he’s constantly accusing her of cheating he may be cheating, projecting his actions on her because that tends to happen. If someone is cheating they may think the same of their partner. Not all the time. If a man isn’t jealous, then I think he may not be into her as much. Some men say they don’t get jealous if she’s flirting w another dude or she’s getting hit on by men, it turns some men on. I think possessive kind of goes along w the jealousy, but he may controlling if it’s passed a certain point of controlling.

ManOnFire · Answer

That's not entirely true. Male cheaters aren't like that so much as they are more often paranoid that their woman is the one cheating. Jealousy and possessiveness I think is more common in men who might have fewer relationships and a harder time getting into them, so they worry about one slipping away.

Throwawaynowknow · Answer

Men are territorial by nature. They don't want other guys playing with what  theirs.  some jealousy is natural. Possessive is no good because he shouldn't have to demand his girl to not act out in a manner that threatens the relationship and makes him look bad

Anonymous · Answer

I never heard of this. If he’s jealous he loves you and your his only girl. ITS WHY he's JEALOUS

Possessive men I haven’t experienced. But I guess those are narcissists.

A good amount of jealousy is a good sign

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Never heard anyone say that, seems like a pretty dumb thing to say tbh.

Anonymous · Answer

No my hubby is that way and he just loves me it is a bad town we live in so it is more protective! That only happens after decades of marriage

Berethor · Answer

Generalizing, a cheater my think that everyone like him, I am possessive but not a cheater.

slatyb · Answer

Because people who don't cheat assume that their partner won't either.

Jersey2 · Answer

I don’t know about that one. I haven’t cheated so I wouldn’t know. I also am not possessive or jealous outside of normal terms.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Who are "they"? What I have usually heard is that it is that he is either inexperienced or has been cheated on.

tolstoysbike · Answer

I never heard of this. If he’s jealous he loves you

Danny_dan92 · Answer

This the case for both genders. Guilty conscience

Kacka · Answer

bulshit, as u said"they said" didn't prove , just said, so offering watch less useles shorts in internet. .

DiegoO · Answer

Him cheating should be the least of your concern if he's jealous and possessive.

Quigly · Answer

His behavior might only be a reflection of her behavior. Maybe she really is a slut.

sheikalana · Answer

Is not entirely true.

Christoff92 · Answer

Then that becomes double standard

Anonymous · Answer

because those are narcissistic traits.

Anonymous · Answer

Not it might or prevent him from cheating

Friendlybro79 · Answer

Who are they?

BigDog1989 · Answer

Projection

zebronics · Answer

I know opposite 🌱

In_Trance · Answer

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