Is it true that age is just a number and if not, are my friends/acquaintances sleazy or just clueless?

[Anonymous]

That’s what my middle aged friend said about himself, that he doesn’t look his age (which he does); doesn’t act his age (which he doesn’t); and that age is just a number. All the guys I know hit on women 22-35 and I think they’re all too old for them, as the women in their twenties are still figuring out who they are, like we all were. But this guy is late forties and hits on really young women. Are they sleazy or clueless? We all have Asperger’s.

[Levin]

I mean, that's a complicated question.

What I do know is women intensely dislike men going for young women.

Interestingly, a lot of women with burning dislike for men doing it have done it themselves ie dated much younger men when they were in their 30s or 40s. Seems to be some weird double standards or projection.

[Asker]

Maybe for some. However I personally think they’re too old in looks, experience and world knowledge to want a really young woman except to use her for sex. Knowing that makes me feel protective of young women and disgusted by these old men hitting on little girls. To me, I think everyone should look no younger than 4 years age difference.

[Asker]

Because I was one of those that got used when I was young dumb and living with mum.

[Levin]

That may be possible, too. Ultimately many guys their own age will treat them like shit, too.

I think it depends on the person rather than the age. Young or old, I treat women very well. People with good values treat other people will, no matter who they are.

[Levin]

Also, not trying to take the responsibility away from the man that did that, but there was ultimately something about yourself that attracted yourself to an older abusive man. The dynamics are two way, after all.

[Asker]

Low self esteem, naivety, desperation and my own vanity and insecurity.

[Levin]

Well, exactly, and in a perverse way, we learn so much from our negative experiences, if we can put some kind of positive light on them.

[Asker]

True. I can’t tell her anything that I’ve learnt. She must learn for herself. Like everyone.

[Levin]

Indeed, very sage. We have one life, we should not tell adults what kind of experiences they can and can't have. I would definitely date younger, and I would treat her well. And I know, because so many women scold me for it, that women hate it. But psychologically, it just makes me want to do it more. Who I date is no one else's business, if we are both adults.

[Asker]

That much is true. That it’s the business of the two people involved.

[rachel776]

middle age is exactly 37

[Asker]

To someone so young, yes. I felt exactly the same when I was straight out of school.

[Asker]

But he’s actually older than thirties.

[rachel776]

it is literally middle age no matter how old you are. life expectancy for men is 74 so 37 is halfway there

[Asker]

Well, whatever. My point being that he’s older than that. He’s almost fifty.

[HelpfulWoman]

Most people who say that are kinda pervy weirdos.