If a man misses you and has regrets, why can’t he simply reach out or express how he feels?

[Anonymous]

Especially if he is still emotionally attached to a woman?

[Anonymous]

Because even though he may have loved her at some point maybe she turned out to be toxic. So he realized as much as I love her, care about her she’s not good for a relationship. I was w someone for 4 years, she cheated on me in high school. She got pregnant. He left her, then she came back. I took her back regardless cause I lived her. But when he came back around she was w him again. This last for maybe a year off and on. I finally realized this isn’t going to work. I love her to death, but she’s unstable, she doesn’t know what she wants. She’d always treat me like whit when she was w him, but when she wasn’t it was all lovey dovey. I missed her a lot for a long time. I had regrets. Well maybe if I had done this or that things would have been better. Took me a long time to realize no matter what I would have done it wouldn’t have changed much. A man can’t make a woman 100% happy, that’s on her to achieve that. He’s just an added bonus. If she’s got issues she’s always going to have them until she deals w them. Whether she’s mad at herself or not finishing school or a strained relationship w her dad, as a man you can’t fix those issues for her or even other men. They have to come fix those on their own. To this day she’s still basically in the same situation w more kids. Seven to be exact w 4 different dudes.

[Asker]

Wow.. yeah that’s tough. Love is unpredictable and the person you fall for is also I’m learning.. was that worth the pain, after going through it all?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes and no. I say no because no one wants to go through that. But yes because had she not done that I probably would have still be stuck on the reservation w her. I wouldn’t be w the girl I’m w now who I’ve been w for 14 years. So there’s a lot of pros and cons to what happened. After she did that I left for the military. Something else I probably would have never done if we were still together.

[Asker]

Gotcha.. I’m glad you found someone new.. I hope she is worth it!

[Opinion Owner]

Oh yes of course she’s worth it. You know a lot of the pain you endure goes out the widow when you meet the right one. When you say you’re done, you don’t want to date or be w anyone anymore

[Asker]

Truth, I’m sure if the right one comes for me, I will feel the same happiness with no more scars.. thanks for sharing (:

[Opinion Owner]

You’re welcome. Have a good day. by the way may I ask what’s going on w your situation?

[Asker]

Just reflecting from the past. Knowing what goes through a man’s mind from keeping him from pursuit if he finds the woman is the one. Women act more on emotion than terms of being realistic. I’m seeing things from s different lens though now

[Opinion Owner]

I wish more women would realize that. That’s why I tend to think a lot of women live in a fantasy world rather than reality. Men are not that complicated I don’t think. Women just make it complicated by thinking w their feelings.

[Anonymous]

I've done that before, and it completely backfired. Unfortunately I still have an attachment to this girl.

[Asker]

Wow.. that sucks..

[Opinion Owner]

It really does.

[Asker]

I hope you find peace without her

[Opinion Owner]

I'm trying, but it has not been easy. The vaguest of signs reignited my interest.

[Asker]

A little dose will definitely do it

[Opinion Owner]

If it was a sign, it was specifically targeted towards me, but I cannot do anything about it.

[Anonymous]

He can miss and love her to death, but that doesn’t mean she is the right person for his life. There may be many reasons contributing to this, like if he wants to date other women or just wants to be single rather than prioritizing a relationship. He could be busy with work, emotionally unavailable, the list goes on. I have a good level of respect for a guy who will stay away rather than knowing in his heart he doesn’t want a relationship, yet goes back to a woman to get the girlfriend perks without committing.

[Asker]

I have respect for a man like that as well.. interesting perspective.. the reality is, sometimes you can’t have what you want correct? Because of certain circumstances..

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, I get what you mean, sometimes there are circumstances that prevent him from being with the woman, religion, distance, etc. In which case it’s probably better anyway if he stays away, mostly because what’s the point, you know? It is deeply painful, like if he didn’t want the relationship to end and felt his hand was forced, but if there’s no silver lining then there’s no hope, no reason to give in to “missing her” only to inevitably get hurt again, because those obstacles aren’t going anywhere.

[Asker]

Very valid points you make.. there has to be a solution eventually. Things are best left alone, experiencing that type of pain is not worth it.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, It’s really not. I remember being off and on for almost 3 years with an ex who lived practically across the country. The whole thing was messed up because we had become so attached, we were best friends, with great chemistry, he was even trying to get a job in my city. After a while though, the distance became too painful, I got tired of the broken promises, missing him, feeling alone, the cons outweighed the pros. Nothing was changing, the job wasn’t happening, I’d try to leave but then go back because I felt I needed that bond, it was hard. I have to say things got better once I committed to staying away, rather than keep ripping out the fresh stitches by reaching out each time I felt sad and missed him.

[TruthBeTold77]

Maybe because he wants to move on with his life.

[Asker]

Valid point as well. thank you

[TruthBeTold77]

Welcome

[spartan55]

Why are you assuming he is emotionally attached and misses you?

[In_Trance]

Maybe he doesn't miss you as much as you think he does

[Asker]

That’s not answering the question. It’s not about what I think. I’m speaking of male behavior lol

[In_Trance]

Yea... me too

[Asker]

This is a generalized question, this isn’t about what I think towards a man..