He replies too late?

[Anonymous]

We admitted that we like each other last night and yeah he was replying late but I thought maybe he was shy. If he's shy he should have overcame this shyness since I told him that I like him and I was the one who took a step first. But he still replies too late. Whys that? All men are like this?

(Don't say maybe he's busy. Ofc he takes the phone to his hand in a day so he can reply)

Updates

2 mo

Guys he texted me. He was on a long flight and he was exhausted when he arrived. So he slept. I forgot that he loves traveling 🥹

[_Maya_]

What do you mean don't say he is busy. You are ruling out the most likely explanation because of? That isn't what you want to hear? You want us to make up some reason that makes far much less sense than the obvious? You are basically asking to ignore a reason that makes the most sense. What is the big rush you need an immediate response anyhow? He does respond to you right? If he didn't have any interest he would respond to messages at all. He'd ignore you or block you. By the way how late is "too late" anyhow?

[Asker]

It's been 10 hours since i sent my message. And I don't think he didn't check his phone in that 10 hours. So it's not busyness

[_Maya_]

No that isn't being busy. 10 hours is a long time. I don't really think it is shyness though. I mean he told you he liked you and that is a lot harder for a shy person to do than return a message.

[Asker]

Yeah same. But I don't understand why he replies late

[_Maya_]

I guess if he doesn't know what to say but I would think in 10 hours he could think of something.

[Asker]

Ahh he texted me. He had long flight and when he arrived he was exhausted so he slept

[_Maya_]

Okay so that makes a lot of sense.

[sheikalana]

You don't want us to say he's busy but the truth is people get busy even if it seems like we're always on our phones.

[adam6402]

Ok even if he wasn't on a flight or tired or whatever, it's ok for a guy to reply late every now and then. I've been messaging a girl for the past 4 months... even though I'm obsessed with her, I only text her during a few hours of my evening each day and every few hours on weekends.

I check my phone regularly but just because I do that doesn't mean I have to reply. I talk when I feel like talking, not when I have to. Otherwise it feels forced, it becomes a chore, and you'll quickly get bored of it.

[BadApple69]

Maybe he just didn’t know how to respond. Shy guys are shy because their communications skills with the opposite sex is poor….

[BoopBoopBeep]

What is "too late?" Couple days? A week?

[Asker]

10 hours, sir. I bet he checked his phone many times in 10 hours

[BoopBoopBeep]

Right, but checking your phone is like an email read receipt. People request those from me at work. I never send them. Just because I opened your email doesn't mean I even skimmed it, it means I hit the down arrow in my inbox a few times and yours was highlighted, but not that I had time to respond to it or even dedicate a somewhat appropriate amount of mental energy/devotion/action to it.

For example, my ex and I would share kitten memes. I always looked forward to those. If it was a particularly hectic day in the field I would need that at the end of the day to unwind. It wasn't that I was ignoring the email until then, I wanted to save it for when I could drop all my gear and relax with it. There are a couple of people on here with whom I converse who I genuinely enjoy reading their messages to me, and honestly I'd rather not read it until I can READ it, if you get my drift. Now, at least to my knowledge, G@G doesn't have a "read/unread" indicator for the sender. I wish more apps/social media were like that. I think the constant awareness of what the other person is doing is misleading, and genuinely unhealthy both for the relationship and the person monitoring the status.

I spent 6 months in the field once. No phone, no email. I sent letters. On paper. That I left at drop points where people would pick them up and take them to get mailed. They would drop off any letters I received in that time. While there are countless downsides to that and I'd certainly not advocate returning to that, I think it would be valuable for everyone to at least experience that for a protracted period of time to recalibrate what their "normal" expectations become.

Now of course the flip side is maybe he's not interested in you, in which case he's also not worth the stress that you're having as a result of not knowing and deserve someone better.

[Wise4myage]

Getting over shyness can take time, but make sure he knows how much his late replies can be annoying.

[Asker]

How should I do it 🤔

[Wise4myage]

Just mention it casually.