When a guy is older than you yet you feel like you have to mother him is it a red flag?

[catarecute]

[Sharkstealth]

Here's a question. When a guy fixes your toilet or changes the starter in your car does he say I'm not your father? He's a man.

When a girl says put the toilet seat down or you don't clean enough she does say I'm not your mom. She's a woman.

I think that's what's wrong with America today. It's actually called maturity not trying to be or force the other in to acting like the opposite sex.

[Willlovewinintheend]

It depends. Does it motivate him to work harder and be more productive or is he just being a bum.

Depending on the reason it might lift his spirits up and give him purpose or you might just be enabling him to be a bum.

[catarecute]

its not about being a bum. men can do whatever they want with there life if they want to be unemployed be unemployed. this guy is basically a real child. he is 4 years older than me. i feel like i would have to teach him life like his mum. its super toxic.

[Willlovewinintheend]

I mean that does help some guys. There are guys that never had girlfriend and they missed out on that.

But if it's toxic or you don't see it going anywhere just leave.

[catarecute]

thank you ok i will

[Randogirl491]

If you feel like you have to mother any guy send him back to his mom, he's not ready to have a girlfriend yet.

[catarecute]

thats what i will do lol

[slatyb]

Yes, it is. Why do you feel that way? Does he expect you to do that? It's not healthy. Can you give a specific example?

[catarecute]

just this guy is like a child in his behaviour. when i=he talks to be he doesn't realise he is acting like a child. i am gonna ghost him in a minute i know its wrong but he gives me the a bad vibe

[JustMeQ2]

Define “mother him”?


Because in some instances the answer is yes in some no.

[catarecute]

having to teach social skills mainly and dating rules

[catarecute]

basically i get the feeling he is ignorant about social things and ignorant in general.

[JustMeQ2]

I was thinking that you meant around-the-house things. Like he is careless too much and doesn't do his part that sort of thing.

You don't have a child, you have a different communication style.

Instead of trying to force some “social rules” on him, and playing games. Try speaking more openly, honestly, and directly. Like true adults.

He will give in on some things you say, and not to others that don't feel like him.

You might find it even better than what you are looking for now. It's a way better way of communication.

I have gotten positive results with some mature women, and bad results with the ones stuck with a teenage mind.

[catarecute]

no i no its hard to understand but he gives this vibe of being like a child. almost like i will feel like i am telling him off if i point out something to him. if you dont get it forget it.

[JustMeQ2]

Ok, now I get it. It's fine if he has a childish personality and it's fine not to like it.

Just don’t ghost him. Tell him he has a childish personality that you just don't click with.

Then leave.

Don't be childish when leaving a guy because he is childish.

[catarecute]

yea you are right i will tell him

[JustMeQ2]

Message me how it goes. 😅

[shades777]

no because women are naturally mothers

[catarecute]

mother to a child not to a partner

[shades777]

whatev's

[LunarEclipse433]

A big red flag.

[eagle1951]

like yeah